First, the good news: Chuck is doing very well with his liver transplant. April 29 will mark the one year anniversary of his transplant at the Mayo Clinic. He's showing no signs of rejection, is off 80% of his medications, and his follow up tests and visits show him to be a super star. He's back to photographing birds every morning with my son, even in minus 5 degree weather, so that pretty much says it all. My avatar pics are of his birds.
Now for the bad news: I've mentioned before having a surface melanoma on my arm removed in October of 2021. An "in situ" mole of no consequence where all the melanoma 'was removed successfully'. This was a result of having a dozen beauty marks on both arms blow up like balloons after the 2nd Covid shot, grow scabs on them, and when the scab fell off, the beauty mark disappeared entirely. Except for the one. And all of it was not successfully removed after all, as a few cells must've escaped into my body and caused metastatic stage 4 cancer in my lymph nodes, liver, and bones. I went to the ER 3 weeks ago for excruciating pain in my left side where a CT scan with contrast was ordered. The cancer was discovered at that time, and I've spent the last 2 weeks in testing. The cancer is not in my brain, thank God.
The Oncologist told me there is immunotherapy available now for malignant melanoma. 2 types at once, administered via IV (no port) every 3 weeks x4. That's the goal. To turn on my immune system to kill off this cancer. 50% of immunotherapy patients are alive 2 years later. Idk what the percentage is at the 5 year mark. I've avoided doing research bc I'm overwhelmed enough already.
I'm having tremendous pain in my spine, ribs and liver, where the cancer is the worst. The Oncologist gave me some heavy duty pain meds and told me to wait it out until the IV starts kicking in to relieve my pain. He said I would live less than 2 months without treatment so my first treatment is tomorrow morning. The side effects can be gnarly and these infusions WILL kick my butt, he said. I'm ready, I think. Ain't no beauty mark gonna take ME down at 65! 😑
I'm useless at home, so Chuck is doing everything. Laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, driving to appointments. I have a housekeeper coming in to do the heavy cleaning and my stepson and his wife are cooking 7 dinners for us and bringing them by on Saturday. I have to make sure HE'S not overworked during this treatment process to where he gets sick. He's already overcome with worry and shock over all this as it is. I'll ask my stepson to repeat that meal making plan, too...they want to help & we need help.
We've had a lot to deal with the past year, and now my issues, which were there all along, just not apparent until recently. We wouldn't have been able to handle TWO of us sick at once anyway, so this is how it had to play out, I suppose.
The one bright spot I hold onto here is the dime I found on the floor of the ER room I'd been in ALL DAY where there was no dime on the floor. And when the gal was wheeling me back into the room from the CT scan, there it was. I kicked it across the floor to Chuck and he said, "what's that?" I said, "it's a dime from dad, telling me everything will be alright." He was speechless. Dad used to send me dimes all the time after he died in 2015, but stopped the past few years. I have a whole piggy bank full of them.
We can use all the prayers we can get right now, friends. I believe in prayers, in miracles and in signs from our deceased loved ones that they are with us in tough times. If you do too, please send up some prayers for Chuck and I right now.
Many thanks.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread...for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
- Deuteronomy 31:6
1 John 5:4 -- Whosoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, our faith.
499hopefloats says, "But, when you have done the rounds and are still sick, it can be hard to hear the advice because you are tired and in pain and it sometimes translates into “you aren’t doing enough to fix yourself.”
THIS! This is precisely why the advice to do this, that or the other is unwelcome for many. Because it suggests we aren't doing enough to fix ourselves. Which is what my Oncologist explained to me on day 1. Nothing I do or don't do will affect the outcome of my treatments. That's up to my body and God, imo.
Ty polar bear. I like to read and comment on posts here bc it keeps me out of my own head to give back a little. Spent yesterday in bed due to extreme right side pain so plenty of down time.
I'm praying for a better day today. Prayer helps ME in a myriad of ways and I highly recommend it for those who haven't tried it. Prayer brings calm and peace amidst fear. That ALONE is worth a fortune and doesn't even begin to cover the other benefits. If the world needs non believers, they are surely NOT needed on this thread to point out why prayer is a waste of time. That's a post for another time and place, not here.
Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good to them that Love God, to them who are the called according to HIS purpose.
Romans 8:31 - What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
This is a mighty trial you are going through my friend. HE is with you and promised to never leave or forsake HIS own.
Peace, strength and comfort to you in The Name of Jesus, Lord and Saviour.
I am so sorry you have had to get out your WHIP and give it a good crack. But thrilled you are strong enough to DO it!
I hope that's enough to pull any of us straggling back into line.
I'm of a quite peaceable nature, but I want to go all smash-face on anyone who would do anything that might hurt you now. Our juvenile right-fights just are so inappropriate now. I left for two months last one, but now you need us here, so I can't go anywhere.
Just to say, you want me to punch anyone out, let me know. I got your back. Sad thing is, I know we ALL have your back. We just can't help ourselves.
Your oncologist is a SMART ONE. Keep him! MY oncologist, a doctor I worked with for years before my cancer, said to me one day in the hall "So, how are you".
And, meaning it as a joke I said "OK!" pause-pause "SO far!". And he said "Don't ever let that in. Don't ever think this can get you. You have to STAY POSITIVE!".
Of course I was already angry enough at the universe I wanted to smack SOMEthing, so he got it. I pretty much backed him up against the wall and said "Don't you EVER tell me what to think or feel. Don't you ever suggest that what's trying to kill me is my own thoughts!"
Poor guy stumbled all over himself trying to backpedal, but honestly! I mean, here I was-- all those NASTY little cells trying to wreak havoc, and then there's HIM.! Just what I needed! Hee hee!
I hope all the energy we have going forward is put toward your healing. I hope you feel better today.
I feel like my bone issues (what I call The Hole in My Back) at the thoracic spine 12o'clock is def better. Same with the rib lesions causing that tremendous pain on my left side. I have no idea what's going on on my right side now......doesnt feel like the liver pain I've been getting, but further up and behind like kidneys maybe? Idk. It's just very acute and painful to move/breathe/sneeze etc. My liver panel numbers have declined again, so maybe it IS liver related.
This immune therapy is new to me, but like Alva says, your just at the beginning. ((HUGS))
I’m sorry that you are still feeling funky. Hoping that you will feel better soon.
Ignore postings that upset you. Read only the uplifting messages to you.
Sending lots of love and hugs your way today and always.
May The Lord relieve your pain and help you sleep tonight. Also, may those liver numbers head back in the right direction!
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth
That is my prayer for you today, that you will hear the Voice of Truth. Blessed rest tonight.
One short quote… “While Christianity was able to agree with pagan writers that inordinate attachment to earthly goods can lead to unnecessary pain and grief, it also taught that the answer to this was not to love things less but to love God more than anything else. Only when our greatest love is God, a love that we cannot lose even in death, can we face all things with peace. Grief was not to be eliminated but seasoned and buoyed up with love and hope.”
Many hugs.
Some of my favorite songs are by Don Moen, and are on Youtube.
God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way....
More prayers, for Chuck and Lealonnie.
2 Corinthians 4:7-9
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
Same verse in The Message version:
" If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. "
This speaks to the power of prayer and the beauty of faith. W/o faith and prayer, and a terminal diagnosis in hand, there would only be anger, fear and misery to contend with, no hope at all. The desire to end my life NOW would be uppermost in my mind, but it's not. No matter what happens with treatment, when I DO die, I know a richer afterlife awaits me bc life is eternal. Amen.
Ty for posting that Hope
You keep posting when you can, and we will keep praying.
Today is 10 days after infusion 1. I was up in the family room for 4.5 hours today with my son and grandson. The back pain is manageable for the most part, but I'm lying down again now. I'll take it. The pain in my left side is 75% gone. I went from loudly wincing in pain with EVERY movement to grunting a few times a day. I take an oxy a day, most days, thats it, and cbd gummies. My son was shocked at how good i look (😣) and how mobile I was, 10 days post infusion. I had to go back to Jan 15 to recall JUST how horrible things were to see the improvement today. Thank God.
I'm sweating, fevered, chilled, no appetite, exhausted, dying of thirst and having other odd side effects suffice it to say which means the cancer is being attacked, killed, and carted OFF as waste thru my profuse sweating and infrequent urinating. The human body that God created is an amazing thing. I'm getting to bear witness to just HOW amazing right now. That a wretch like I was a month ago is even alive, never mind mobile and in a lot LESS pain is nothing short of a miracle right there.
Even teeny tiny miracles count, you know. I think I'd better keep my eye out for another dime from dad. He was right in the ER that evening.....things would be okay. And with God's help, I'm keeping that attitude moving forward, one day at a time. Tomorrow may be a horrible day, but today was a great one.
I have a waterfall (large rock one cascading down a hill) in my back open space area. A beaver came along about 11 months ago and damned up the water to where it fell below the motor and burned it out. Just 4 days ago the waterfall is back up and running again! I can lie here with the window open (65 degrees) and listen to the soothing sounds of all that water rushing down the rocks. That makes me happy.
My grandson broke one of my Willow Tree angels today. I told my DIL to just throw it in the trash. Who cares?
I think cancer (or facing death) brings a new perspective towards life with it. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Enjoy nature. Food is not as important or wonderful as I've spent my whole life insisting it was. A super clean house is not as important as I've insisted it was all these years. The dust will still be here tomorrow but our loved ones may not be. Even if you "don't know what to say" to a friend or LO whose been given such a diagnosis, find SOMETHING to say bc this isn't about you or your awkward feelings. It's about someone you care about who will benefit from your phone call, more than you'd even realize.
Thanks to all of you who have chosen to say "something" to me, and for listening to me ramble. I'm sure there will be plenty more epiphanies to come, and plenty more long winded rambles too 😁
There is power in prayer and strength in numbers, so hopefully we can be your strength when you are weak.
You probably don't need to hear this from me but you are an inspiration. I continue to pray for you every day.