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Great news that you are going home today. Even better that you slept so well.
Good sleep is the ticket.
You know of course that after 1 won’t be anywhere near 1.
Enjoy today and give our best to Chuck.
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Great news!!

Annnnd,

just shaking my head at how docs dismiss us when we tell them about medications’ effects on OUR bodies! 😠
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Hallelula!! (That's how my son used to say it when he was a lil boy) :-)
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Drumroll please........I AM GOING HOME TODAY!!!😁.

Echocardiogram was perfect TG

Heres what I've determined on my own: meclizine 25mgs MAKES me dizzy. I felt good when I woke up, then after meds, my head is swimming. Dosage cut to 12.5 mg and the doc saying it's not true meclizine causes dizziness can kiss my arse. ALL meds are disagreeing w me lately, period.

When I feel weepy, check 02 it's likely low, not depression (which is a valid and separate matter)

A resistance inhaler called The Breather is MUCH BETTER than an incentive spirometer bc it's super easy to use so it's USED. Vs the infernal IS that's thrown by the wayside asap.

I'm glad I'm in tune w my body vs having to rely on being TOLD how I feel.

I asked to speak w my oncologist about the prudence of delaying my infusion by 1 week. Which translated to "she wants to delay her infusion by a week" which caused the nurse to reschedule it. When she called me this morning, I told her that's not what I requested. Oh she'll refer to her notes. I DO NOT care what your notes say, I'm telling you personally what my request is. Oh my doc is on vacation FFS. No other doc available to talk to. Really? A week I'm here I've seen an oncologist for a total of 10 min and she ran in very late to sit w the other 2 docs! So the nurse arranged for me to speak with a mid-level person ( whatever that means) today at 330. Meanwhile, when the regular doc came in she said a mid level person will NOT answer my question! CYA principle and all. She'd already spoken to an oncologist at my practice who said it definitely fine to delay infusion a week bc they last 9-12 weeks!

Arghhhh. THIS is medical care in 2023, sadly.

But I get to go home w oxygen sometime after 1pm, praise the lord.

I slept like a log last night too.

Sp you said it!

Alva, I'm going home by hook or by crook lest they want to find something else out of whack. And GOOD RIDDANCE to Lovonox injections in the belly 2x a day😑

Thank you everyone for your supportive words. I'll post later when I'm back home w Honey on my lap
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Prayers for a better day, for hope, for rest, for release from pain
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OK, Lea. It makes sense to me now--not that God is keeping my dogs (hee hee) but that all the systems are healthy.

Basically, if they looked at all the systems and they are doing OK with this, then it is ONLY YOU that feel like trash. Again, teasing you, but sounds like maybe you could go home if they say so, maybe being with YOUR little dog would be the best medicine. I get what you are saying--that everything they can test is holding pretty well with the exception of things they see as side effects of a treatment this tough to take.

And as to why God would keep my dogs? I don't know. I never understood the guy. But really, anyone would want my dogs. They WERE all such good dogs. Again I am kidding you, but if I were a believer I think I would be the maddest one out there. I always have studied faiths--ALL faiths. Always been so interested in them. I love that the Jews think it perfectly right and normal to argue with god. The Rabbis get out there and ARGUE things. No bible study where someone teaches what you are to believe, but rather a good red hot argument. I kind of love that thinking. But you know me!

Today has GOT to be better. I will hold out for you being able to go home. And for feeling better once home. And then on to the decision ahead from a stance of strength.

I am in your corner and punching. Feeling frustrated. I feel today like I just cannot HAVE another bad day for you. I still remember patients I didn't want to have my day off, I didn't want anyone else there for them. You see how untrusting I am! And how quick to anger. "Do not TOUCH my patient!" sort of thing. I never used to get faint or dizzy from anything I saw or dealt with, but I did get dizzy when my patients were in pain. I was the worst nurse to have at your side while you had a lumbar puncture; likely to faint right over you, hee hee.

All to say, I want this to be a good day for you. I want that so much.
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So sorry yesterday was a bad one. Prayer gone up. ((HUGS))💞

All I can say is your one brave person. Hope today is better.
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Scripture du jour: "The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It�s our handle on what we can�t see.�" - Hebrews:1-2�(The Message) Hebrews 1 is considered the "Faith Hall of Fame" and is inspiring but too long to post here. I highly recommend reading it. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+11&version=MSG And "Then Jesus told him,��Because you have seen me, you have believed;�blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.� - John 20:29 And, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18� LL, keep your eyes on the prize! xoxo
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Good morning Lealonnie!
My prayers for you continue, in earnest. I know this is an anonymous forum, but how I wish we could all be by your side in that hospital room, spilling out into the hallway, telling stories, reveling in your quick wit and unending faith - and the laughter, oh the laughter! The nurses would not be happy with the lot of us😂 I truly hope you know how you have touched us, as cxmoody so eloquently wrote. ❤️❤️
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Yeah Lea if you can you are better off going home then staying in the hospital.
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Continuing the prayers. May you get well soon. (((hugs)))
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And, I love you back!

I bet there are so many here that could say the same.

Someday, when you end up looking down from heaven, you will see the generations stemming from all of those you helped back from the brink.

These will be generations of people coming from those who, through your words, figured out that THEY weren’t the crazy ones.

The next generation will have been told and prepared by their parents that Dementia looks like “this symptom” or “that wack-o behavior”. They wouldn’t have been knocked off kilter by the stress of some previously unexplained zombie illness which has taken over their parent.

Each generation will be better educated and better equipped, and hopefully, experienced less suffering and more proactive caregiving.

You’ll see them all, then turn around, and be greeted by Our Savior, who will most assuredly say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

What a glorious day that will be!
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Lea, I know I've told you this already but I can't get over how brave you are. I know you probably don't feel brave but you are. Coming on here everyday documenting your progress and how you feel is beyond brave.

I'm happy for you that you have no fear of dying. As a believer I know I'm saved and yet still fear death. I can't imagine I would ever be sitting in your position posting about it. I guess nobody really knows how they'd react.

I hope you beat this thing and then you can come on here and talk about how you conquered cancer. Still praying............
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Just checking in. So sorry you had such a crap day. Praying for you now.

Geaton, that was beautiful.
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Alva, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding your words, but how does it make sense the good Lord keep your good dogs and leaves you out? A woman who devoted her career to healing and helping others?? Not to beat a dead horse.....but the good Lord ALSO takes him in. 😁

No results on the echo. I was eliminating fluids on my own which is a great sign my heart is fine. EKG was too. DD is gone for 2 weeks in Fl. 😑

As the word goes here, it's either the cancer or the treatments wreaking havoc and causing all the chaos. Main systems in good shape. I feel like crap bc of the vertigo and now the coughing, but they can find no REAL issues working against me like colitis or kidney failure or any of the symptoms that require treatment to stop.

Outpatient services deal w vertigo.

When I asked Dr C last time why my right side was hurting, he said WHO KNOWS and yet, one bad symptom to call his office on is "right side pain."

Colleen, I just love you. Truly. That's all. 😍
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Yes, Lea, we will share a laugh if I am proven wrong, and the good lord would know it wasn't the FIRST time for me. And if he consigns me to that other place, alas, I am afraid I shall have friends there. My friend D. is always trying to pray me in--like I said she just wants someone she can beat at canasta. Peeves me that the good lord would likely keep my dogs, because they were all good dogs. Is there any other kind?

I don't know how you go on telling us all and all with all that is hitting you, and I hate that you feel worse than when you came in. I just wish I knew WHY you feel worse. Is it the cancer or is it the treatment? Because we both know you can get bludgeoned by either. You always manage to give us a grin and a giggle when you can. You amaze me.

I can't see how they can send you home tomorrow and I am wondering if your girl will be with you? You know, private duty. I worry otherwise. You are getting hit too hard in too many systems. It IS like whack-a-mole. I always remember either John McCain or his daughter using that expression. I am so glad you will make the docs with you and tell you what they think and I hope to goodness you don't get what my old oncologist used to give me with "Who KNOWWWWS. It's anything but an exact science."THEN told me he could tell me that because I was an RN. Then I told HIM that I was not at that moment an RN, but a patient. We had some go- arounds, that man and me. He's dead and I am 80! (He was older than me, guess he was bound to go first.

I don't know if your DD will agree, but I see few patients, no matter their beliefs, and I had the full diversity, approach end of life with fear. Saw many with wonder. But yes yes yes to the fear of pain. I am a dreadful coward about pain and fear, tho I fear death not at all. Most people are just made that way.

No one has yet told you about that echo and results? I would just like to know the heart is tolerating treatment before another bag gets hung. I am sure they will read things Monday a.m. I am hoping for a week of healing and I cannot believe you are already close to another infusion.

Checking in in a.m. and hoping for a break in this storm.
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My goodness. I’m so sorry about this stinky day.

I don’t know how you’re still making us smile, in the midst of vertigo and dumb zaps (I had them after a cold turkey stoppage of a med, 8 years ago. No dang fun!), but it’s gotta be God.

Keep on keeping on, Our Treasure! We’re praying for you when you run out of prayer. Believing for you when you can’t believe for one more second. Cheering you on, when you’re too tired and dizzy and sick of it all to do it yourself. 🫂 🫂 🫂
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Thinking of you, Lealonnie. 💐
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Lea, gentle {{{hugs}}} from over here. Prayers for it to get better.
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Bad day today and stick a fork in me I'M DONE. Lungs hurting a lot, xray shows nothing but fluid, so Lasix it was this morning. Ativan put me to sleep and I woke up w a few brain zaps AND vertigo as bad as it was on Tues 😑 Freaking Ativan is just NOT FOR ME. Doc ordered an echocardiogram which had the tech using the ultrasound wand right on my rib lesions pressing hard for 15 min. I'm coughing and hacking up a lung now with 02 stats dropping to 80. Right after the echocardiogram I immediately felt freezing and had an incident of cold/fever/sweats afterward. I told the nurse I'm worse off NOW than when I got here on Tues. Doc will discharge me tomorrow providing the echo doesn't show bad news. And if not, I'm discharging myself.

Apparently Dr C expects I'll be wheeled into my infusion on Thurs, with 02 on, and dizzy as hell! I wonder if I'll be wheeled out on a gurney after they call 911? 😮 That is how I feel right now and I asked to have him CALL ME TO DISCUSS. This w/b infusion 3 of 4. I think a 1 wk postponement is in order, but I want to know if that would set me back any From an effectiveness perspective?

Sick to death of wires and tubes and ANOTHER BAD IV this from the expert w magnifier who jabbed it into my outside FOREARM which hurt a lot.

Alva, in case you can't tell, I could use that metal bed pan right now, preferably 6 so I could make a REAL racket. As for your staunch atheist status, go for it. We know where you stand now 100%. I can imagine your shock and disbelief when you find out otherwise. We'll have a good long laugh over it when we meet up over THERE one day 😎!

Gershun.....see what I mean about men and their scars? 😂🤣

Funky, sorry to make your prayer for today go unanswered.

Beatty, lovely picture you paint and boy what I wouldn't give to be lying on a beach somewhere right now instead of a hospital bed wrapped up in wires and disheveled sheets and blankets. I should tie the damn things together and hoist myself out the window to freedom. Vertigo sucks.

Bandy, of course I believe God and my father both are giving me the strength to forge ahead! Cuz it's not my grace or courage that's doing it, certainly. I'm sick to my stomach at the prospect of treatment 3 this Thursday, I can't even tell you. Who knows though, maybe this next duo treatment will knock the old symptoms out. Watch this, those bags will say, as they pummel me into a whirlwind of all NEW and miserable side effects. God help me.

As far as eating the Tiramisu first goes, not THIS chit they're pawning off as the rich and decadent dessert it should be, ha. They also bring me a "strawberry milkshake w protein" in it every day at 2. What ice cream do you know of that turns to foam when it melts???? Yeah, none. Pawning off some powdered shake as a "milkshake" has me leaving it untouched. Chuck horked it down today bc he's a stress eater.

You can't try to imagine how I feel bc you've not experienced such a shocking diagnosis. Thank God. Nobody knows how they'll react to such a thing until and unless it happens, either. All along I'm pretty steady in my acceptance of the outcome here, ONLY bc I don't fear death and know that my soul is eternal. I'm so glad I felt so COMPELLED to do all that reading and research the past 10+ years. It's literally my saving grace. I see what raw fear of death looks like and feel thankful to God for leading me down the path to finding the truth. Amen.

What I fear is the pain and suffering from the treatments, tbh. I want to be in decent enough condition to enjoy the rest of my life, be it 2 weeks or many years, not a hobbled shell of my former self.
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Cast all of your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7
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Lea,

Have been off the site for a couple of days. Just checking in.

My word, I am with you in regards to your ‘bad’ friend’s behavior. She sounds crazy! I’m glad that it was counteracted by a visit from a ’good’ friend.

That tiramisu sounds pretty sad! Indeed, your Italian relatives are spinning in their graves.

I will certainly be praying for no more side effects or disappointing lab results.

I will also pray for Chuck. The two of you look so in love and happy together.

I bet your spoiled pooch misses you too! She is very cute. You had her photo on your avatar for a long time.

Sending much love and many hugs to you.
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Gershun, I am old enough to remember Lyndon Johnson pulling up his shirt to show his scar!
Bandy, they must have forgot the liquor in that tiramisu! We are going to have to send Chuck out for the real thing!
Lea, I don't believe in a higher power, either. We all understand I am hopeless; but happy to be tolerated. And ready to be surprised, as I have so often BEEN surprised. I am not a humanist, either--not a lot of use for mankind in general. I guess I am all chaos theory, tho there seems such a perfect symmetry in many things (snowflakes?). Some might add, then what created the chaos. I am, again, ever so willing to be surprised with the answers. Question is, am I capable of believing them? Will save the rest for philosophical studies night. THEY have given up on me, as well, hee hee.
So glad that the lungs are so much better. I sure hope you tolerated a night on the ativan. Would love this dizziness to abate for you.
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I am standing in agreement with everyone on this forum today for "NO MORE SIDE EFFECTS AND NO MORE WHACK-A-MOLE FINDINGS FROM ALL THESE BLOOD TESTS" for you today and going forward.
And all Gods people said AMEN and AMEN!!!
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Again, my bookmark.

I love your "bad friend" thing. Thinking who would be my "bad friend"? "Bad SIL" yes, a person I would have never been friends with. Oh the stories I could tell. And believe me she has not mellowed in her old age. I think she is trying but your always waiting for that shoe to drop.

((HUGS))💞
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As silver in a crucible and gold in a pan, ����so our lives are refined by�God. - Proverbs 17:3 (The Message) Why does scripture in several places compare God's relationship with us like being refined? Silver and gold are rare and precious. The ancient refining process of these elements required paying close and undivided attention to the elements, over fire - a sweaty, labor-intensive activity -- and the only process to ensure a purified final result. I.e. God's loving efforts and attention is constantly on us during whatever "process" He chooses for each of us, because we have immeasurable value to Him. LL, so happy to read you're doing better this morning! PTL!
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Lea: Prayers continue.🙏
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Lea, my hubs had his gall bladder removed a few years ago and I was mortified when the handyman came over and he pulled up his shirt to show him the aftermath. Ye Gads!

I was doing my Bible reading just now and you came to mind. It was about how David played his lyre to calm Saul. David would take up his lyre and play. Then relief would come to Saul. 1 Samuel 16:14-23

Is there some soothing music you could listen to that would lend you some relief? I hope so.

Still praying for you always.
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I am picturing the ocean. Each wave gently rolling in has clean clear water - each wave rolling out takes away any un-clean water, particles, gunk. These get sent far out to sea.

New crystal clear health coming in & up - sickness going down & out.

My thoughts of waves of health are being sent to you Lea.
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Xray shows no sign of pneumonia, thank God. Breathing MUCH easier tonight due to rescue inhaler x2, Tessalon Pearls and Robitussin x2. Coughed up a lot of gunk. We'll see what doc says tomorrow. Fluid issue has to be addressed now too.

Doc insists Ativan helps a LOT w vertigo, so I said a quick prayer and took one 1 hr ago. I feel nicely relaxed right now. I had what I thought was a bad reaction to that drug not long ago......but it could easily have been something else at play. Gotta try bc tbh, this vertigo SUCKS EGGS AND SO DOES USING A WALKER.

Alva, you pray to a higher power, as explained to AA members who are atheists. We all know there is a power greater than ourselves out there, whatever it may be, that we are but small beings in a tremendous galaxy. Many atheists began praying to nature, or a tree,and wound up finding recovery thru open mindedness. I know more than a few who were able TO find their Higher Power thru need and willingness to recover.

I'm not sweet at all and I was ready to kick that woman's fat ass out the door. Her surgically altered "tits" are nice enough, i suppose, but her ass looks like the broad side of a barn 🤣 She CALLED me tonight and I swiped right SO FAST! Call went to vm, I listened to it, she was calling to check in. Dense! 😂😁 My phone will be out of order for the next few months!

PB, love the vision and will share it with you.

Hope, since it made for a good story I guess it was worth suffering thru her nonsense.

Colleen, I'm looking forward to that window serenade...I haven't forgotten. You can sing me Benny & the Jets 😁😎

Oh the Tiramisu was a TRAVESTY and a sick joke, as I'd expected. A piece of yellow cake in the bottom of a cupcake cup, with whipped cream on top!!! My relatives are all rolling in their graves right now!😀😁😂🤣

Overall the food here is pretty good. The starter shrimp cocktail I thought OH YEAH RIGHT, which turns out to be 3 extra large boiled fresh shrimp on a bed of lettuce w lemon wedge and cocktail sauce. Perfection. So I order one w a chef or Ceasar chicken salad and it's great. Chicken quesadilla is exceptional too. I can even order Sobe Life waters. And all for the bargain price of $4k a night or whatever! Deal.

Fawnby, it always amazes me when people want to show their scars or believe we want them to do their version of feng shui in OUR HOMES😑 However, Chuck wants eeverrybody to see his awesome Mercedes scar AND the hideous photos of his before and after liver. 😨. The new liver photo is of the surgeon holding chucks belly open, wearing a blue glove, right after it was plunked down. The old photo is of an overcooked and shriveled piece of meat 🙄. He has a very large and LOUD personality and people love him for it. As in wearing a kilt to a wedding which I had to put my foot down on in the case of OURS. Down boy! Ha. A little Chuck goes a looong way. I've seen him pull out those photos on his phone to show women and they look mortified and run off. Can't take cues that only women in the medical field will appreciate such a thing? Shock factor means a better laugh for him.
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