First, the good news: Chuck is doing very well with his liver transplant. April 29 will mark the one year anniversary of his transplant at the Mayo Clinic. He's showing no signs of rejection, is off 80% of his medications, and his follow up tests and visits show him to be a super star. He's back to photographing birds every morning with my son, even in minus 5 degree weather, so that pretty much says it all. My avatar pics are of his birds.
Now for the bad news: I've mentioned before having a surface melanoma on my arm removed in October of 2021. An "in situ" mole of no consequence where all the melanoma 'was removed successfully'. This was a result of having a dozen beauty marks on both arms blow up like balloons after the 2nd Covid shot, grow scabs on them, and when the scab fell off, the beauty mark disappeared entirely. Except for the one. And all of it was not successfully removed after all, as a few cells must've escaped into my body and caused metastatic stage 4 cancer in my lymph nodes, liver, and bones. I went to the ER 3 weeks ago for excruciating pain in my left side where a CT scan with contrast was ordered. The cancer was discovered at that time, and I've spent the last 2 weeks in testing. The cancer is not in my brain, thank God.
The Oncologist told me there is immunotherapy available now for malignant melanoma. 2 types at once, administered via IV (no port) every 3 weeks x4. That's the goal. To turn on my immune system to kill off this cancer. 50% of immunotherapy patients are alive 2 years later. Idk what the percentage is at the 5 year mark. I've avoided doing research bc I'm overwhelmed enough already.
I'm having tremendous pain in my spine, ribs and liver, where the cancer is the worst. The Oncologist gave me some heavy duty pain meds and told me to wait it out until the IV starts kicking in to relieve my pain. He said I would live less than 2 months without treatment so my first treatment is tomorrow morning. The side effects can be gnarly and these infusions WILL kick my butt, he said. I'm ready, I think. Ain't no beauty mark gonna take ME down at 65! 😑
I'm useless at home, so Chuck is doing everything. Laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, driving to appointments. I have a housekeeper coming in to do the heavy cleaning and my stepson and his wife are cooking 7 dinners for us and bringing them by on Saturday. I have to make sure HE'S not overworked during this treatment process to where he gets sick. He's already overcome with worry and shock over all this as it is. I'll ask my stepson to repeat that meal making plan, too...they want to help & we need help.
We've had a lot to deal with the past year, and now my issues, which were there all along, just not apparent until recently. We wouldn't have been able to handle TWO of us sick at once anyway, so this is how it had to play out, I suppose.
The one bright spot I hold onto here is the dime I found on the floor of the ER room I'd been in ALL DAY where there was no dime on the floor. And when the gal was wheeling me back into the room from the CT scan, there it was. I kicked it across the floor to Chuck and he said, "what's that?" I said, "it's a dime from dad, telling me everything will be alright." He was speechless. Dad used to send me dimes all the time after he died in 2015, but stopped the past few years. I have a whole piggy bank full of them.
We can use all the prayers we can get right now, friends. I believe in prayers, in miracles and in signs from our deceased loved ones that they are with us in tough times. If you do too, please send up some prayers for Chuck and I right now.
Many thanks.
"What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You’ve heard, of course, of Job’s staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That’s because God cares, cares right down to the last detail."
- James 5:10-11 (The Message)
May you and Chuck float on a cloud of prayers today!
Glad everything came out ok🤣🤣🤣
I love your dog’s name. ‘Honey’ is a sweet name.
Sometimes, I take my daughter’s dog to the dog park. There is a man who brings his solid white retriever there. He named his dog ‘Sugar.’ I think that’s a cute name for a white dog.
Dogs show us unconditional love.
My grandfather had a great sense of humor and he named his black lab, Snow.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. [2] He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. [3] He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. [4] Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. [5] Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. [6] Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Lealonnie, I know you are feeling the truth of this Scripture right now.
May HE continue to touch your body and exalt your spirit and faith.
God is still on HIS thrown and by HIS stripes we are made whole.
It is a done deal. Believing this for you with all others lifting you up in prayer.
I personally think dogs saliva is filled with residue of butt licking and other assorted germs and yuck 😂 Jeffrey sounds like a big mush! Oh and the kitchen wasn't in terrible condition after the cinnamon rolls, either, thankfully!
NHWM Honey is stretched out on a blanket across my legs and I've lost feeling in my left leg as a result. 🤣
PB: I had some crying jags and moments of self pity and pure terror when I first met w the Oncologist, and in the ER that fateful day, and some times in between too. I'd love to say I'm graceful and positive at all times, but I'm not. Sometimes the untreatable pain gets to be too much and I feel despair. That's when prayer kicks in to help. I figure we "die" every night when we go to sleep and lose consciousness. But death will just be passing from one state of consciousness to another. That day when I won't wake up in the morning after going to sleep. Not something I dwell on, but my idea of what transitioning may feel like.
RD, you are right about the timing of everything. I remember when my cousin was dxed with breast cancer and her dh with esophageal cancer at the same time about 13 yrs ago. He needed intensive chemo which he had a very poor reaction to, needing to get a daily IV of fluids at the hospital for, and she needed a double mastectomy. Her son took care of dad and her daughter took care of mom. They're both ok today, cancer free, but closely monitored of course.
JoAnn, thanks for checking in.
Geaton, I didn't think they knew about prime rib in biblical times 😅
Feeling pretty ok today, some fevers on and off, nothing major. Bad pain in my right side, again unresponsive to pain meds so what's the point? The doc said "who knows?" when I asked about it. With THIS much abdominal stuff going on, I guess it's impossible to pinpoint what any one pain may be. I just hope it's not something like appendix or anything that would require surgery 🙄 The doc did say the immunotherapy tends to attack ARTHRITIS which I have a LOT of, and that's why the pain in my feet is gone. He had no explanation for the GERD going away bc it's usually amped UP with immunotherapy. I'll take my blessings where I can.
One day at a time. We're running out of my stepsons great food so I'm gonna text him to hop on it mister! Lol. He's been asking and now's the time to get cooking again. What a blessing.
In honor of JoAnn, I hope you all have a blessed day
Your dog sounds so precious! I can see how you would giggle at her behavior.
Constipation!!!! The truth of my mastectomy? . The worst of it was taking the ONE vicodin and the resulting constipation. Honestly I went cement. I was miserable and still remember it as the WORST part of my cancer surgery/recovery. I thought I would have to go to ER for disimpaction. Try some stool softeners, like colace, over the counter. If it goes all cement the only answer I ever found was a fleets OIL retention enema, and boy are they a mess leaking out on everything for days (cover that reclining chair!).
Sorry to go all nurse-ie this a.m. Thinking about you and laughing about the dog all kissie- facing on you. My Mom used to swear their saliva was full of antibiotics and the best thing for us kids. I just posted our co-foster on facebook yesterday; Jeffrey is a big boy who thinks he is a lapdog, and jumps up on me on the recliner. I swear he is going to bust every bone in this old body.
I am real jealous about the cinnamon buns and would accept a filthy kitchen for a pan of them.
Have a blessed day (love when someone says this to me)
P.S. Pecan, can't respond to individual posts on Discussions. Wish we could.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."
- Psalm 34:8 (NIV)
(...and on the "lighter" side):
"Better a bread crust shared in love than a slab of prime rib served in hate."
Proverbs 15:17 (The Message)
I am amazed that you weren't wallowing in self pity and depression, but instead you stay graceful and positive. Lea, you're a beautiful person.
You are so strong and to a degree timing worked to your favor last year. The timing of your mother passing,being able to be out of state with Chick not to mention with such a positive attitude needing strength.
Now you have the quiet times you need to heal and not to attempt stressful activity be it physical or mental which could sap your strength. I have faith in your strength.
Thank you for your PM.
I do think the cinnamon rolls were the ribbon on the gift of Sat 2/25/23. I love that image.
Yes Colleen, but the kitchen looks like hell! 😁 Who cares? I've had a super clean kitchen for 44 years, but nobody baking cinnamon rolls in it. The housekeeper comes next Saturday. Chuck has always loved to cook since I sent him to cooking school for a few lessons as a Christmas gift when we first got together. I've kept him at bay to a degree bc he's a big slob in the kitchen and before all these health crises, THAT was my focus. A clean house. That and $5 will get you a cuppa Starbucks, in reality. My kitchen will be here after Chuck and I are both long gone, let's at least take some good food out of it. Like the homemade 3 cheese ravioli he made in Dec from scratch that we're the best I've ever had, bar none!
I did wind up laughing today after all. Honey my dog jumped up on my recliner and positioned her face in mine to lick me seriously with great intent, on my face and mouth which I HATE. She had me pinned down (she's no lightweight either, thanks to Chuck constantly "dropping " food on the floor) so I had no other choice but to endure The Licking. Which had me laughing. 🤣
Your house must smell like heaven, today!
NHWM I understand your verbiage. Nobody wants to use certain words when cancer is at play, but play UP the "good news" that may play out instead. I accept the outcome of all this, whatever it may be. If God thinks I need to live another 10 weeks or 10 years, I'm on board w that decision 😁.
There are no mistakes in God's economy. The actual quote is by Bill W, founder of AA and is as follows:
"In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is."
Which doesn't really apply in my case NOW, but I like the part about nothing being wasted in God's economy. Bill Ws words applied to me big time when I was getting sober the 2nd time after falling off the wagon due to ego. "Oh some WINE won't hurt, for petesake!" says the 9 year sober alcoholic one day before going to Italy. Sigh. 7 years it took me to get back ON the wagon with a giant lesson in humility attached to it, painful as it was. It was a failure that I needed. I've been sober now since June 11, 2008. With no desire for a drink nowadays when one would think I'd turn back TO it. I'm grateful to God for no cravings, too.
I've been up all day in my new recliner and in my study a bit too. Almost feeling human except for the pain 😑. Chuck baked giant cinnamon rolls from scratch today....each one would feed 2 hungry people 🙄. The man is baking bread and becoming truly domesticated, its amazing lol.
Tonight’s prayer is for something to help with the 💩! Been there after surgery. Whoa, Nellie! It’s sure a predicament!
Hugs from Fl.!
I understand what you are saying. I went on to say that Lea has a serious medical issue.
I was delighted to hear her say that she has a good chance of an extension to her life. That is a plus in my book!
Yes, I agree that having faith is important.
I am delighted to hear that your odds are mostly in your favor 😊. You will be so happy when all of this is behind you.
We are so fortunate to have modern medicine today. People in the past didn’t have the opportunities that are available today. I marvel at what can be done these days.
Between you and your husband, you’re getting quite an education on how to treat serious medical issues.
I am glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better today.
How thoughtful of your friend to send a Mass card to you. I have done that often for those in need of prayer, along with burning candles before or after Mass.
I miss the days when churches were open around the clock and I could stop in anytime to kneel and say a quick prayer and burn a candle.
St. Louis Cathedral is open throughout the day due to it being a historical church in the French Quarter.
My mother was christened at the cathedral because my grandparents lived in the French Quarter for a while.
I do stop in there to burn a candle when I am in the Quarter getting my cafe au lait and beignets at Cafe Du Monde.
Lea,
Here is a scripture for you and your dear husband.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Ecclesiastes 4:9
Pecansielli, thank you for your prayers, they mean a lot 😍
Geaton...lol....love the past 2 scripture.
Llamalover, thank you my friend.
NHWM.....the odds are quite good for my life to be extended here. I'm not doubtful or feeling hopeless, I'm tired and feeling more pain in the past 6 weeks of my life than all the rest of the yrs of my life combined. Nobody is strong 100% of the time, including me. Nobody SHOULD be strong all the time in such an intense situation, its not rational. I haven't laughed the past few days. Nothing strikes me funny. I'm more focused on this miserable constipation that I can't seem to get ahead of, even with Miralax daily. 🙄 It's just one MORE fly in this ointment to drive me crazy!
Thank you for your prayers.
My friend sent me a mass card from Rome yesterday, where 10 masses will be said in my name. That was a comforting card to get.
Thank you Bandy, from your lips to God's ears.
If you have any spark at all the atheist trying to start World War III on the site this a.m. in Discussions (the one who doesn't want good-two-shoes on his doorstep) will likely draw your fire, hee hee. I can't wait! Honestly!!!!! I almost hope the admins don't take him down so you can have some fun with him. Or her. I don't know why I so feel it is a him.
Speaking of having some fun, Need wrote you that you might be feeling like this is all an eternity of time in terms of suffering. I know you are dealing with this stuff, major! But to me you almost have never seemed more alive than you are now on this Forum. You aren't just STILL so Lea. You are even MORE Lea. You are full of joy and hope and determination, and even amidst the pain you are alive with the wonder and beauty of life. It's how I see you, anyway, and I know today your teeth may chatter while the sweat runs down your chest. Speaking of WWIII, your body is engaged in it.
I too am longing to see that vintage jeweled bouguet. Glad she can't throw it; folks might not survive it.
And just to say, I never knew you so well as I know you now. I always loved you, but I never knew there was so much MORE to love.
Hoping to hear your update. Thinking of you so much.
Scripture du jour (more timeless wisdom from Proverbs written by King Solomon):
"Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful face on an empty head."
- Proverbs 11:22 (The Message)
💜
These past weeks must feel like an eternity for you. You have been through so much, both mentally and physically.
Underneath, I still see your strong spirit shining through. I love that you are able to have hope in spite of your odds.
Of course, no one would judge you if you occasionally experience times of doubt. It’s so easy to become discouraged when we are suffering.
I am not only praying for you but also for the medical staff, doctors, nurses, etc. who are caring for you. Your husband received wonderful care during his time of need and I want the same for you.
I wish there was a way to speed up this process and lessen your misery but I know that isn’t possible.
I am so happy that you have a loving husband who is so supportive.
Nhwm.....ty for your kind words. I'm busy doing nothing these past 6 weeks, truth be told. Chuck is doing everything. I haven't posted items for sale since December. This last infusion is kicking my butt hard. I've been in bed since yesterday at noon. I really can't move, I'm that exhausted and weak. Chuck is bringing me a cup of soup bc I can't even go to the kitchen. I don't feel full of grit and determination right now, just pain in my right side and sheer exhaustion.