@funkygrandma59 and @needhelpwithmom - your notes were saved.
Yes, I've let the nonsense continue because of both fear and guilt. Since the time we spoke, mother has stalked my business.applied on my website as a member.created 25 alias emails.tracked me on united (my trip to Japan was public and she has my DOB and zip).started emailing my work ADMIN account (also on my website).tracked me at a marriott over thanksgiving (knows I would visit my dad and called each one).
Yes, she has nothing better to do than stalk me all day long.
yes, she is truly suffering.
yes, she has refused to accept a phonecall from a doctor.
Yes, she is threatening to harm me and send a million emails until I listen.
Yes, she has said I will be shattered when she dies knowing it was my fault and I didn't try hard enough.
yes, everyone is sick of it.
Yes, my son blocked her emails on my gmail - but then she found the admin and that is harder to block.
yes, my husband and I are still happily married. He doesn't know what to do either.
Yes, my mother is threatening elder abuse and names people she will reach out to.
yes, she subscribed to the NPOs where I am on the board.
Yes, she continues the suicide threats and we have called police 12 times.
So, ready to file the order this week...
But who wants to put their mother in jail?
I wanted her to get a decent home.
She wanted me to sacrifice everything to save her. She wanted a doover in life - not to be a good mother - but to marry rich - have a husband and family or be a movie star. I don't know. But she didn't want my sister -not because my sister wouldn't put up with her - but because my sister was blue color and in the wrong city and couldn't fulfill her fantasy.
yes, I have compassion for her mental illness.
So, what will happen?
What did the attorney tell you would happen? Or have you not asked an attorney this question?
"What happens" varies by state, so not sure why you are asking it to non-attorneys on this anonymous global forum with no accountability for "wrong" answers or bad advice.
Or, are you asking "what happens" regarding her behavior and her reaction if you file the order?
None of us can answer this, not even you. This is why you need to move forward with legal action since it's your only recourse to protect you *and your family* (and possibly other victims) from her.
You get a RO. As said, that means Mom can't contact you and you don't respond to her. Pretty sure when you posted 3 years ago you were told to stop doing what you were doing, helping her, spending money on her. Offering to buy her a house. Your Mom is mentally ill. To get her off your back you must go NO Contact. No paying for her hotel room. No trying to buy her a house. No phone. You tell the hotel manager when you plan to no longer pay for her room. He then calls APS and tells them he has a vulnerable senior with no money to pay him. Then the State takes over her care.
You are just going in circles. You will never please your Mom. She doesn't even know what she wants, she is mentally ill. You can no longer be her option. You need to go cold turkey. Just stop the money train. YOU OWE HER NOTHING!
If the application you submit is done concisely and properly, a Judge will sign it and a Preliminary Hearing scheduled within 2 wks. Mom must be served a copy 10 days before the Hearing, so hire a Process Server for $50 to serve her. During those 2 wks. Mom is not allowed to contact you whatsoever. If she does, you take a Screenshot and print copies for the hearing.
You (or your lawyer) must attend the Hearing or WILL LOOSE. Mom must attend or loose. A "no-show" at a hearing automatically looses. There is a 10 minute hearing, the Judge asks you both a few questions, such as, "Why do you pay for Mom's hotel?" ("I want her to live in a safe place.") or asks Mom, "Why are you stalking her so relentlessly?" ("Because I want a hug.") Judge takes 5 minutes to decide and grant the Permanent Order for up to 3 years. Judge will clearly see Mom is crazy, and grant your Order, plus included stipulations, such as Mom be 5150'd for full psychiatric/medical evaluation. She may be taken from Court directly to a local hospital for evaluation and proper medication. The authorities don't take suicide threats lightly. Mom is also a clear danger to herself and others, the criteria the Judge bases his decisions on. Hopefully Mom gets put in a hospital facility for a full mental/medical evaluation fairly quickly.
You each get a signed copy of the Order before leaving Court.
Get 10 copies made of your Order, to provide to local police offices, hotel manager, doctors, colleagues, or anyone else she uses to contact you. Carry a copy in your purse and car at all times.
Mom will be dumb enough to violate it within days, unless she is put in hospital for evaluation. Thus you call police (non emergency line) to report her. They will pay Mom a visit and warn her if she violates again, she will be arrested. One warning, next contact she makes, she will be arrested. You will be called, of course.
You DO NOT go bail her out! Mom will be released in 24 hrs, anyway, and go back to her hotel by Uber. County jails will not hold crazy senior women. DO NOT send any more money to the hotel, which will put you in violation of your own Order! Mom can get YOU arrested for funding her lifestyle.
If you are that obsessed or weak, you will loose. Wasting the Court's time with your drama will not work in your favor. Either do what you legally should, or end up screwed. Mom would be thrilled to turn the tables on her weak, wealthy daughter. It's fun for her to torture you for "attention" (aka money) right? Block Mom's emails, calls, stick to your Order, since if you do not, you will be seen as "mentally challenged" and not taken seriously anymore.
Otherwise, enjoy the cat and mouse game you play with Mom, pretending to actually "care" about this spoiled wacko you call your Mother. You obviously enjoy the high drama, since you are FUNDING IT.
Where is Mom's income (Social Security)? Hopefully if Mom gets 5150'd, while her medical evaluation is underway, you can find a Social Worker at said hospital to help get her placed in Memory Care. Refuse to fund her hotel, she can apply for Medicaid. Mom will be safe, fed and her meds supervised by 24/7 trained medical staff. She won't be allowed WiFi tools, or to leave the facility. If she doesn't have money stashed, she can't buy a phone or I-Pad to stalk you.
STOP allowing her to financially blackmail you!
Mom will be placed according to her mental/medical status (by the State as Guardian) with daily attention by staff. She won't get her luxury hotel or free house. She doesn't deserve any of it anyway.