Do you find people automatically want to accuse any care giver of the elderly of stealing or wrong doing but then I. Reality they are killing themself to care for their parent to the point it’s ruining g your health and relationships. Parents guilt. But why do people behave so judging in these situations and can someone offer me help on how to handle a person like this in my life?
If that won't shut them up nothing will.
When you're working so hard to take care of someone, the person who is judgmental, accusing and demanding is a cruel and evil presence. You don't have to justify or defend yourself to them. You'll find out that when you remove the bad people from your life, they'll eventually run out of steam. They thrive on hurting you, and when that no longer works, they get mad and turn their anger on someone else. Try it!
However, you should not be killing yourself and ruining your health and relationships, even if the parents are guilting you. So if the judgmental person would like to help you find solutions that help reduce your burden, then welcome the help. Otherwise, please work on solutions yourself. You do not need to, and should not feel like you have to, give up your own life, health, and finances for parents who are guilting you.