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Do you find people automatically want to accuse any care giver of the elderly of stealing or wrong doing but then I. Reality they are killing themself to care for their parent to the point it’s ruining g your health and relationships. Parents guilt. But why do people behave so judging in these situations and can someone offer me help on how to handle a person like this in my life?

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You deal with it by telling these judgmental fools that if they think they can do better, to help themselves and ask what time they would like you to drop off said parent permanently.
If that won't shut them up nothing will.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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I must tell you, if you are caregiving you really have no energy left to concentrate on what other people think or say, and how they judge you. Simply ignore it and get on with your life. There is no limit to the amount of gossiping and judgement involved in some people's daily life; it indicates their own boredom with things. As I said, stop wasting you energy on thought of all that; it is utter nonsense; you don't have time for it.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Cut them out of your life altogether. Worked for me.

When you're working so hard to take care of someone, the person who is judgmental, accusing and demanding is a cruel and evil presence. You don't have to justify or defend yourself to them. You'll find out that when you remove the bad people from your life, they'll eventually run out of steam. They thrive on hurting you, and when that no longer works, they get mad and turn their anger on someone else. Try it!
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Reply to Fawnby
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I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. You could handle this person by asking them to step in and take over the caregiving for a week and then exchange notes on how they did it better than you.

However, you should not be killing yourself and ruining your health and relationships, even if the parents are guilting you. So if the judgmental person would like to help you find solutions that help reduce your burden, then welcome the help. Otherwise, please work on solutions yourself. You do not need to, and should not feel like you have to, give up your own life, health, and finances for parents who are guilting you.
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Reply to MG8522
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