My childhood trauma caused by both of my parents, runs so deep. Neither of them protected us from verbal, mental,and physical abuse. We (all 7 of us children) suffering from our own individual trauma and abandonment by our mother. I've tried to work on healing and every single time, my mother inflicts more emotional abuse. My mother just turned 80 and is still unwilling to acknowledge and accept the trauma she's caused. Recently she's had serious medical issues and she's needing assistance living in her home; she's trying to guilt me (my other siblings refuse her). I've prayed and have assisted her numerous times only to be subjected to her emotional abuse and financial manipulation. I want nothing to do with her, the trauma is far to deep and my wounds are still, in my mid 50's , still very raw.
You are waiting for something that is very unlikely to happen.
You have no duty of care to your abuser.
Remember, you are now an adult; now your choices are your own. If you do not wish to take part in your mother's care--indeed if you do not wish to see her at all--you should not have to. But if you CHOOSE to stay in her purview stop expecting change that won't happen.
I truly appreciate your response. Trust me when I say I've spoken those exact words to her and put it in writing. My healing journey is far from over and I've taken the personal steps to speak with my own personal grief counselor.
I 💯 agree that i have to put self first...I matter.
I appreciate you...it's not easy and the guilt and anger are real. My prayers are to leave her in God's Capable Hands.
And yes that includes you. Your siblings are smart enough to realize this and now it's time for you to realize it.
You owe your mother nothing!!!! So please for the love of God stop trying to care for a woman who didn't care for you.
And I pray that you have a good therapist who is helping you heal from your trauma.
I was abused by both parents and chose not to have anything to do with them after I forgave them as an adult, as it was much healthier for me and my mental health to stay away and have nothing to do with them. They are both dead now and I have NO regrets, but peace in my choices.
Your parents have made their beds and now they get to lie in it.
I hope you will learn to stay true to yourself and protect yourself from the evil that you call mother.