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Yes, you are doing the right thing and no, you are not obligated to be your mom's caregiver.

As others have said, leave her to figure her life out and look after your own life. Some of us are born into very dysfunctional families and, therefore, need to set strong boundaries with family members.

Your mom is abusive and obviously has mental health issues. Not your fault - you didn't make them and you can't fix them. Keep taking care of you.

Glad that you have cut contact. Sorry for the loss of your dad.
"I do not have the time or energy... and I refuse to put myself in harm’s way."

That's awesome. Keep your boundaries in place and
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"I do not have the time or energy to take care of someone who takes me for granted and who doesn't even like me"....Then DON'T!!!
Your mom is not your problem nor is she your responsibility, so thankfully NO obligation to be her caregiver. Aren't you glad for that?
She'll figure things out someway somehow. You just get on with living and enjoying your life without this toxic woman in your life.
I am sorry that you lost the only decent parent in your life.
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Also, if your siblings try to guilt trip you, tell them they are free to make their own decisions regarding her. So if she’s manipulating them, they are free to also walk away. If they are expecting you to do it, they are entitled to do as much or as little as they want, but they’re not entitled to make demands on you regarding her.
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You absolutely did the right thing. Block her completely and walk away completely. If anyone questions you, calmly say that she has said in both words and actions she doesn’t like you so you are abiding by that. The real reason, of course, is that she is abusive and ungrateful and you deserve to spend your time and life with people who respect you.
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I do not believe in accidental blood connection ruling my lifelong relationships.
Your Mother was abusive and this led you your having no relationship with her. I would maintain that.
If there are others who wish to participate in your mother's care, let them and stay out of it.
If your mother contacts you tell her you will not be able to help her.
Provide her with the phone number for Adult Protective Services in your area.

That would be my advice, but you are an adult and can be the only one to take all facts into consideration in your own case and decide for your life moving forward what your best actions will or won't be.
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Yes you are doing the right thing. No good will come to you by being a part of her life. She told you she only liked the one sibling so if she does contact you, tell her she needs to call them.
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GoingNC Apr 27, 2025
The “good” sibling actually asked me to be at my mom’s house today so that my mom doesn’t throw a tantrum when she leaves to go home several states away. I’ve already been blocked for leaving once. My other sibling was blocked physically and has a large bruise on her arm as proof. I stuck to my guns and said “No!”
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I would suggest contacting APS to report a vulnerable senior and keep her number blocked.

You matter too and she has shown you who she is, believe her and leave her to it.
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GoingNC Apr 27, 2025
Thank you for your advice. I contacted the Area Agency on Aging last week and gave them the good sibling’s number. I also reached out to both siblings this afternoon and told them to contact APS for a vulnerable adult. I made it clear to them that I would not be mom’s caregiver.
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