Follow
Share

Is an assisted living facility allowed to prohibit a spouse from visiting their wife solely on the written instructions of a POA in the state of Georgia? This happened to me earlier in the week. How much time and money is required to fight something like this nonsense? I feel like it is malicious behavior on the part of the POA and unlawful behavior on the part of the facility.

13 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Actionable Steps to Resolve the Dispute
If you or someone you know is being denied access to a spouse in a facility, use these avenues instead of a writ:

Contact the Long-Term Care Ombudsman: This is a free, government-authorized advocate who investigates resident rights violations. They can step in immediately to mediate the dispute with the facility. You can find your local representative through the National Consumer Voice Ombudsman Locator. [1, 2]

[It has always been my understanding that the Ombudsman Contact must be posted for you to see at the facility.]

File a Facility Grievance: Request a formal review from the facility's administrator or director. Remind them that blocking a spouse may violate federal CMS visitation guidelines regarding the right to freely associate.
[1, 2, 3]

 File an Adult Protective Services (APS) Report
Isolating an elderly person from their spouse can be classified as emotional elder abuse or undue isolation.
The husband or another concerned party can contact the local county Adult Protective Services agency.
APS will open an investigation into whether the daughter is abusing her POA authority to isolate the resident.


Disclaimer:
I consulted Ai (Gemini) online for these comments, and selected the answers that may be helpful to you. AI admits it could be wrong. I could also be wrong.

You say your wife has assured you that she is peaceful and happy.
Has she expressed to you that she wants to see you?
Have you asked her if it's okay for you to check on her?
Can you bring someone with you that she knows and loves?
[You do not need to answer here. Just ask yourself, taking your own counsel]

I think it would be responsible of you to keep confirming with your wife in person
(when her illness permits a conversation) that she is okay. Get it on a recording.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sendhelp
Report
Q. The POA daughter is refusing to allow the husband to visit his wife in AL.

A Power of Attorney (POA) does not automatically give a child the right to ban a spouse from visiting. [1]
Unless the husband is abusive, dangerous, or has a legal restraining order against him, a daughter cannot use a POA as a tool to isolate her mother from her husband. A POA holder is a fiduciary-legally required to act in the resident's best interest, not to settle family disputes or personal grievances. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Because assisted living facilities often fear legal liability, they frequently defer to a POA out of caution. The husband needs to assert his and his wife's legal rights immediately. [1, 2]
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Sendhelp
Report
Ask the POA how You can help him /her and then listen. Perhaps you can bring supplies so the POA doesn’t have to come that day. You can sit and help feed so the POA doesnt have to come that day. You can pay a bill. How can you reduce the work for the POA so they can come less often and do less for the old person? That’s how you can help. If you have been banned from visiting, consider examining the reasons you have been told your visits are not helpful. Name calling the POA and wishing them ill will is not a good look for you and makes you look unstable. Swallow your pride, if you are able, help the POA care for the person you both say you care about. If the POA says, no in person visits, just drop off supplies, contribute money to have her hair washed and cut, get her nails done and clean, then do it. It’s not about You. Get along with the POA for the person you say you care so much about. Once she’s dead, you don’t have to have a relationship with the POA any more.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Beethoven13
Report
OP, the POA seems ignorant of the fact that a person suffering from dementia always gets ugly with the person they're closest to. They reserve most of their vitriol and anger for the spouse or the daughter or whomever it is that placed them in AL/MC to begin with. Whomever has done the most for them, in other words. In my case, my mother nearly bared her teeth at me when I visited her in Memory Care. The venom she spewed at me was awful. People can say, "don't take it personally" but it's impossible sometimes.

Speak to a lawyer, elder care attorney I guess, to see what they say about YOUR rights in this case.

I'm sorry you're going through this and wish you good luck and Godspeed in finding a solution.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
If it has been determined that your visits are upsetting, disruptive to your spouse the POA can restrict or prohibit visits. The facility has to abide by that direction.
You could ask for supervised visits if that is the problem.

I am guessing that the POA is a son or daughter from a first marriage and that they have either never gotten along with you (or you them) and or they are trying to "protect their in heritance"

You could try to petition to become your spouses Guardian but that will be expensive. It will require you to go to Court. there is a lot of paperwork involved. You will have to prove that the current POA is not acting in your spouses best interest. Very difficult to prove.

OK.......I read responses after I wrote this. I read your replies. I thought about deleting what I had written but decided to leave it as I think it is valid maybe for someone else.
YOU do not "accept" blame and burden of abandoning your wife. YOU have not abandoned her.
Sometimes when we love someone we have to do something that hurts us, or them.
Your wife right now has a brain that is not working properly.
But maybe there is enough there that she does not want you to see her the way she is now.

Find out if you can visit without her seeing you. I know that may be painful for you but to see her and know she is ok may ease your burden a bit.
Maybe see if you can "Facetime" the fact that you would not be physically there may not trigger her as much. If it does it is just as easy to turn the phone away so you are "gone"

And with dementia there are phases and this may pass and in 3, 6 months she may well want to see you, or may not be as reactionary if she sees you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report
trying to do what "seems to be best" for her even though it is hurtful to me? I am a generous man but have been pushed to the limit. To say I should not be offended and angry is ridiculous and no amount of courage or understanding is going to change that. All I can say is I hope there is a special place in hell for mean spirited narcissists like the POA daughter. She deserves so much more than that.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to oldandtired1952
Report
It sounds like she is sometimes (often?) triggered by you and they are trying to keep her calm. She is likely forgetting you or scared by you, and probably not missing you. I’m sorry but it sounds like they are trying to do what seems to be best for her even though it is hurtful to you. Try not the feel offended and work on your relationship with the POA so you can stay fully informed from a distance.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to ShirleyDot
Report
You need some help to change yourself in this very difficult situation. Your wife’s anger at you is the result of the dementia. Accepting that dementia is causing the anger is NOT accepting the “blame and burden of abandoning her”, and you should not let it “destroy you”. Try to focus on times when she has said she is “peaceful and happy”. Have courage and understanding. Remember that every GOOD relationship still has times when both people are angry, and memories of those times can come up later, quite out of context.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report
Well, it's not unlawful on the part of the facility. They are just doing their job, which is encouraging.
Who has POA? Is it Medical POA? Do you know what prompted this act?

Had you been visiting your wife regularly prior to this instruction from the POA to prohibit you?

Unfortunately, It will require a court action to fight this. Find an Elder Law attorney who will be well versed in this type of case. I'm so sorry you have been prevented from seeing your wife. There could be very good reason, and the POA is just looking out for her best interest.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report
Thanks for the detailed answers. My wife is quite mentally disturbed from the dementia and alzheimers. At times she is also angry and has focused much of that anger on me. Therefore the issue with the POA seems to be a battle that has no good ending. But not fighting that battle means that I accept blame and burden of abandoning her that will most likely destroy me. My wife assures me she is peaceful and happy. Maybe that is the blessing that I must learn to accept.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to oldandtired1952
Report
Daughterof1930 avatar
D
Daughterof1930 Jun 21, 2026
I’m sorry for your pain in this. We’re certainly learning in our family right now that a POA can believe they’re making the best decisions while also not educating themselves on dementia and its behaviors. Accept no blame if you know you’ve done your best. Keep your focus on your wife letting you know she’s peaceful and happy. I wish you peace
(4)
Report
In Georgia, a Power of Attorney (POA) generally does not automatically give someone the authority to prohibit a spouse from visiting their husband or wife in an assisted living facility.

A few important principles apply...

If the resident has capacity, i.e. if the wife is still able to express her wishes and wants to see her husband -- the facility would generally be expected to honor her wishes, not simply the POA's instructions. A POA is an agent acting on behalf of the principal; it does not override the *competent* person's decisions.

If the resident lacks capacity the situation becomes more complicated. Even then, a financial POA typically does not give authority to control personal relationships or visitation.

A health care agent under an advance directive may have broader authority regarding care decisions, but that does not automatically mean they can permanently ban a spouse from visiting.

Assisted living facilities also have resident rights that generally include the right to receive visitors, subject to safety concerns and the resident's wishes.

When Visitation Restrictions May Be Allowed

A facility may have grounds to restrict or supervise visits if there is evidence of:

abuse,
exploitation,
threats,
harassment,
severe emotional distress to the resident,
court orders,
or other documented safety concerns.

A facility is usually on firmer legal ground when restrictions are based on:

the resident's expressed wishes,
medical or safety concerns,
or a court-appointed guardian's authority,
rather than solely because a POA submitted a written instruction.

A court-appointed guardian generally has much broader authority than a POA. If there is a guardian involved, the analysis changes significantly.

If a facility is refusing visitation based solely on a POA's letter, you would want to know if it Is a financial POA, health care POA, or a court-appointed guardianship?
Does your wife have dementia, and if so, is she still able to express a desire to see you?

Is there any allegation of abuse, neglect, exploitation, or a protective order?

Those details can make a major difference in whether the restriction is likely lawful. This is an area where consultation with a Georgia elder-law attorney may be worthwhile if the facility is preventing all contact between spouses.

(Information aggregated by ChatGPT5.3)
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Geaton777
Report
Yes, an AL is within their rights to prohibit you from visiting your wife based solely on the written instructions of the POA.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
Is there a reason that your wife's POA wants to keep you away from her that you've not shared with us, and have your visits in the past upset your wife, thus causing the assisted living facility to keep you away?
If there are no good reasons to keep you away from your wife then you can always go to court and file for guardianship over your her, which costs thousands of dollars but will give you the final and only say pertaining to the care of your wife.
Of course you'll have to have proof that your wife's current POA is not acting in the best interests of your wife.
I wish you well in getting this all sorted out.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter