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I have done everything Mom's MC facility has asked us to do. Mom was having extreme behaviors and they wanted her out, but after much research, angst, cost, and prayer, I was finally able to meet with her doctors and we've gotten her meds straight and she no longer has those behaviors. She is still a fall-risk and I was told she needed to have one-on-one private care 7 nights a week for her, which we have also done. My question is, we are paying over $100K a year for Mom's caregiving, and yet, every time I go in to visit, things are not being done correctly by staff. Last visit, she and five other residents were sitting in a semi-circle around a big screen TV which was not turned on, no aids or CNAs are in sight, my mother does not have her eyeglasses OR hearing aids on, no socks on her feet, her shirt has food down the front because no one uses any of the 18 bibs I have provided, her room is a mess, bed is unmade, old beverage cups with liquid sitting around. A sign said there was a GI virus going around, yet the sick residents were sitting around with the healthy residents. When a young aid finally showed up, she was unmasked and not wearing gloves while serving a meal, and said she was sick as well. I asked, "then why are you here?" She said, "I signed up to work this weekend, and they don't like it if you call in and say you aren't coming."
I understand things are harder on staff when people are sick, but it seems nothing is EVER right there. Little to no communication between staff or shifts. One night I had to go in to stay with Mom at night because the private caregiver could not make it. When I got there at 10:30 pm, the staff was laughing and hollering across the common room at each other while the residents were sleeping in their rooms. I put my finger to my lips and said "Sh-h-h, Mom is sleeping" and the aid said, "Oh, she can't hear me. She doesn't have her hearing aids on." (But Mom has told me that she CAN hear them laughing and "having a party" outside her door at night.) When I went in Mom's room, the fall-mat was not in place beside her bed, and her wheelchair was pushed up against the bed. If she had fallen out, she could have really been injured! She wears a pendant that she can push if she needs anything or has an emergency, but they usually don't put it on her unless I remind them. Mom was upset one morning and said, "they told me that I push it too much and they are going to take it away from me." I told the Directors that I hoped that wasn't true. Then recently, my husband went to see Mom and she did not have her pendant on, and he asked the aid why. She replied, "oh, we never put it on her during the day because she pushes it too much." Yesterday, I pushed the pendant button just to see if it actually worked, and 30 minutes later, no one had responded. I asked the aid about it and she replied, "oh, I guess I didn't hear it."
Mom was in a terrible Memory Care place before, so I really researched what was out there before placing her where she is now. This facility touted that it was award-winning, voted by staff to be the best place to work, etc. I have talked to the Executive Director and Director of Nursing numerous times, and they are nice, but nothing seems to change.
I could go on and on about the things that are not done right, or are downright neglect. I don't expect perfection, but is there NO memory care anywhere that has dependable care or employees who give a hoot whether they do a good job or not?

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Brandee again,

Some of my best intel about facilities in Mom's area came from private duty CNA's. They all worked in facilities and did private duty care as side work.

Stop by in the evenings when your private duty CNA's are coming in to sit with Mom. Have a general chat with them. Ask open ended questions about whether they have worked at other facilities in the area and how they like the other facilities in the area. They all know the good ones. It is amazing what you can learn.
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I've found the older and smaller facilities in more rural areas tend to give better care. My boyfriend and I have toured facilities in 3 states.

I live in a town in Florida with supposedly one of the best facilities in the state. I've visited friends who have parents there. I've never been impressed. It is large and fancy but I've sat in a clients room for 2-1/2 hours and never seen a worker go by. This facility has a lot of awards but those are meaningless without staff.

Avoid facilities in high net worth communities. If workers have to commute more than 25 minutes each way the facility will be chronically understaffed.

You need to overlook fancy gimmicks of the new builds. In my town the new builds have ice cream parlors and movie theatres for the residents.

Good care comes down to staffing and how well the organization treats their staff. In this line of work CNA's will leave for an extra $1 per hour in pay.

When my boyfriend and I toured facilities we would greet workers in the parking lots. It is amazing what people will tell you if you are nice to them.

If you are already paying for private duty overnight care at the facility on top of $100,000 per year I'd strongly consider renting a tiny efficiency apartment and staff it with round the clock CNA's.
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Lee188 Apr 2, 2025
I am afraid I did not make my meaning clear ... we are paying over $100,000 per year for both the memory care facility AND the private caregiving. Still, it seems to be too much for a facility where my mother is not receiving even BASIC care on a daily basis.

And you are right about not paying attention to the awards and fancy gimmicks. The first memory care facility my mother was in had absolutely beautiful furnishings and the most expensive prizes and decorations for parties and bingo games, etc. But the staff turn-over was frequent and the quality of care was pathetic.
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If you're paying 100K a year for your mother to be in memory care, move her out and pay that to private live-in caregivers.

Would it be possible to move her into a small apartment with live-in caregivers? What's the point in paying huge money to a memory care facility if you have to bring in your own private help? It would probably be cheaper and she'd get better care if she was moved out of the memory care and cared for privately by hired homecare.
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All of anything is not bad, just like all of anything is not good. I’m sorry for your experience in this, undeniably this memory care isn’t doing a good job, or even an adequate one. Contact the ombudsman for the place, the information is posted onsite. And continue looking for a new place
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My husband is in a memory care facility, and it’s well-run. The aides enjoy their work and interacting with the residents. Nothing is perfect! You have to accept that it’s not like living at home. I strongly believe that the residents there are happier and better cared for than they would be at home. They interact with each other, and that’s more beneficial than staying in a recliner all day with only an exhausted and struggling family caregiver to interact with. I’ve been that family caregiver! Which is how I’ve come to the conclusions I’ve stated above.
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Lee188 Apr 1, 2025
You and your husband are blessed to have found such a facility. I don't expect perfection, but I do expect basic care. I've learned to choose my battles and not sweat the small stuff, but when your Mom is blind without her glasses, and deaf without her hearing aids, those things are important. Or when I walk into the facility and everyone is eating lunch, except my mother who is over-medicated, and her head is literally face-down in her salad plate and no one is bothering to lift her head up, that's a big problem.
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Sorry to say YES!
Covenant in Plantation is a horrible place! Not enough staff and they are not trained properly and you can't understand what they say!
But, they certainly know how to say "not my job" & point to someone else that says the same thing!
Very uncaring place!
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That sounds terrible, and so frustrating. I would keep looking even though that's an extra chore. Some are definitely better. (You may find one that doesn't require the night-time private duty aide if they have better systems, or if her medication can have some additional adjustments.) And if you are able to move her to a better place, leave a negative online review to warn others, after you've departed.
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