My dad, in assisted living and has Alzheimer’s, told me that he doesn’t want to have a telephone, a cell phone or a landline, anymore. He just wants people to come visit him if they want to see him. The problem with that is everyone in our family lives all over the country. His brother is dying of cancer and can’t travel anymore, but that he said he’s not interested anymore and communicating with people on the phone I have to respect his wishes but I don’t feel good about it. Do you think that a senior citizen with Alzheimer’s needs a phone? Will he be fine what I’m afraid of it’s gonna cut off all family and anybody ever talking to him or really come to see him.
Most people who have a loved one with Alzheimer's have to take the phone away because the LO is misusing the phone, calling people at odd hours, repeatedly, etc. My mom was doing this, so I removed it 6 months ago. She asked about it once shortly thereafter but hasn't mentioned it since. Out of sight - out of mind.
Don't apply your rules of normalcy to a brain that no longer functions. Dad needs way less than you realize.
Best of luck to you.
Only one person in my mom's memory care facility has a cell phone. There is a landline in the office residents are allowed to use, but probably only a couple ever do that. Their world is what goes on inside the facility and not much beyond that.
If a person can not see a face they may not know who they are talking to.
If a person has even a slight hearing problem hearing someone over the phone has all sorts of problems. The voice can be distorted, the person may not speak slowly, clearly and enunciate and you miss seeing the facial cues that we all look for..
This is not even getting into the confusion he may have with what button to press to answer or hang up. He may not recall numbers. Without a picture next to a name he may not know who "Betty Johnson" is. He may be confused as to how to even make the call.
How about putting in Alexa or other device.
He could say "Alexa call "Betty Johnson" and Alexa will make a call to Betty Johnson. This would eliminate him having to put in a number or search through a list of names to call the person he wants.
Most facilities have a base phone and a handset that could be taken to his room. So you could call the facility and they will bring a handset to him so he can talk to whoever calls.
I think your dad may become more un-communitive as his dementia progresses. My Husband was non verbal for about the last 6 to 7 years of his life. A single word here and there but no communication verbally. This is part of the progression.
there are so many wrong and harmful behaviors from dementia patients having Internet access...so much their LOs have to try to get their phones away, to protect them from themselves, or the many internet scammers.
Maybe you should consider yourself lucky your Dad doesn't want his phone anymore.
Maybe you can encourage his relatives to email messages to you and then you print them out for him to read. Then you can type responses to them.
You can send his relatives cards that are addressed and have a stamp and encourage them to write a short note in it. But if your Dad has memory loss, it's sort of an exercise in futility. Yes, it's hard to watch this happen. Maybe put energy in getting to participate in any activities the facility has. If it has an Activities Director, then that person know that your Dad could use some encouragement to join in. They did this for my MIL at her LTC facility. She was refusing to do anything or even eat in the dining room. Eventually they got her to participate more.
Does he get enough assistance in Assisted Living to help him as he continues to decline? He may need to be moved at some point to a greater level of care. And, No, he will not need a phone.
If you are concerned about family being able to connect with him, take a look at Jubilee TV. https://getjubileetv.com/products/jubilee-tv
Its an app which allows you to control his TV remotely, and also allows family members to cut in on his TV screen, like a video call, without him having to do anything. It's a little bit of an invasion of privacy, but it does make it easy for others to see and communicate with him. It also allows you to privately check in on him. It costs about the same as his phone and worth every penny if it alleviates your worries.
I am pushing 80 years old and consider myself very sharp, but the cellphone has been a major thorn for me. I can figure out complex software on the computer, but just trying to text on a cellphone is frustrating. The screen is way too sensitive, all I need to do is breathe on it and it will send a text mid-sentence. Age related hand tremors doesn't help, either.
I tell people please use my e-mail, as I can still fly on a full-size keyboard like I did back in high school. But there are times when someone will send me an e-mail where they use "voice typing", thus no paragraphs or grammar corrections. I then need to cut & paste it into Word and break up the e-mail where I can read it, especially in larger font.
I've kept all my landline phones. Been using landlines since I was old enough to dial a phone, so it's ingrained in one's brain. When it rings, it's easy to answer. Easy to hang up. So I suggest keep your Dad's landline phone hooked up, unless he is getting a lot of spam calls.
They may not know that this is available in voice to text applications.
Let him use your phone when you are visiting if he wants to call his brother.
Let him use your phone when you are visiting if he wants to talk with others.
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I remember Mom, who also had alzheimer's infamously say to me, "They don't realize how hard things are for me." She was referring to a CNA at the end of a day who was a really nice lady and did a good job.
It is really exhausting and fatiguing for a person with alzheimer's just to get through the day. It gets harder for them to form a sentence. It is easier to communicate with someone in front of you when you have verbal cues but it is much tougher in a phone situation.
I agree. Get rid of the phone and save some money.