I have been caring for my parents now for over 4 or 5 years, dad had dementia and mom has Alzheimer's. I have read, watched videos, studied, follow everything there is about getting them to take a shower or change clothes...epic fail. I am trying so hard to be patient with them but I am burned out. Hard to get help because it is all out of pocket, and they will not help me because they can stand up and take a shower on their own IF I CAN GET THEM TO TAKE ONE! I am running out of every trick I know. Mom gets very angry. Help! What do I need to do now.....trust me I have exhausted all avenues this is my last hope! thank you
Call your local area Agency on Aging to see what programs they would qualify for. You can also call your local Medicare office. Every state has a program that heps Seniors stay in their homes.
When my LO was in a regular AL, they struggled with her resisting care, like baths, but, when she went to the MC, she didn't. For some reason, they just had the confidence and technique to manage it. Plus, I noticed they played music in the shower room. I could hear the staff singing in there. Maybe, it relaxed the residents. ??
You say you've read a lot about the condition and how to address the behavior. So, I take it that you have watched the Teepa Snow videos on You Tube about dementia care and behavior. IMO, that' helpful.
I'd likely discuss things with their doctor. I'd explore treatment, such as medication, if it's deemed advisable, due to anxiety, depression or agitation.
I would likely explore options for help. Have you consulted with an Elder Law attorney about your parent's situation? I would check out what services they may be entitled to both in-home or in a facility. If the funds are not available, how could they become available? More help would likely be needed as they progress and are not mobile.
I'd also keep in mind that eventually, the resistance to care may decrease, but, it may be met with more challenging situations like lack of mobility, wheelchair, or bedridden.
Before making big decisions, though, I'd get some respite time, so you can rest and recharge your batteries. I hope you can find some answers. I hope you'll get more suggestions here too.