My brother has DPOA and is refusing to allow me to communicate, visit, go out or entertain my parents with Alzheimer's and dementia (very, very early stages). Our father still does his own banking, emails and orders things on Amazon. Our mother has PSP. Brother refuses to allow siblings to visit or communicate. He is also is trying to put restraining orders on siblings based on his personal views (problem with sibling from forty years ago). He uses our parent's facility Executive Director to enforce his rules and regulations. The Executive Director now involves herself in legal and financial family disputes. I have become homeless, I'm disabled and I have a service animal.
My brother has hired attorneys and accused me of stealing, borrowing, manipulating parents, etc. Our father purchased a vehicle (without my knowledge) so I can visit them. DPOA filed a restraining order based on elder abuse and lied multiple times in afadavid. He hired an $800 an hour attorney to make sure the restraining order is upheld. Parents have given declarations of truth to resume parental visits to no avail.
Brother has filed these orders, taken mother's cell phone, threatened parents and myself with arrest if we continue to communicate.
Both my mother and father have tried to change DPOA, but the Executive Director of the assisting living facility has interfered with their wishes.
Without changing the DPOA. Can any of this change? Brother is living well beyond his means with expensive vacation, multiple homes and luxury cars.
Another thing to remember: if your Father has ALZ and both parents are in a facility, maybe he really couldn't afford to buy you a car? Facilities are very expensive and only increase in cost as the residents need more and more care. Maybe you aren't the only sibling he's spending money on without realizing he may run out before he's eligible for Medicaid. Even if your brother is "living beyond his means" (which is an opinion and not a fact) -- if your parents run out of money then who will pay for 2 people in a facility? It's not his children's responsibility to pay for this and it's not sustainable. If you are homeless you won't be able to contribute.
The Director of the facility is only doing what the DPoA is legally asking them to do. This person does not have the power to intervene. If your Father is telling you this remember: he is cognitively impaired and may not be giving you accurate information, which is very common with dementia.
As has been suggested, you need to work through an attorney or maybe even a family court mediator.