My mom, the patient, lives with my dad. He is going on a short vacation and I will be there to be her caregiver. What do we tell her when it’s time for dad to leave? Do I sleep in the bed with her so she’s not alone if she wakes in the night?She’s going to be upset that she isn’t going on the trip with my dad. But we can’t tell her for 4 days that he went to the store. Please help.
Do not sleep in the bed with her.
If she does tend to wander at night you might want to put a bell on the door to her bedroom so you will hear it if she opens it.
You might want to get a baby monitor so you can see and hear what is going on in her room.
Tell her on the morning he leaves that needs to be away for a couple of days, it's up to you to decide what to tell her about where he is going. Reassure her that you are there to keep her company while he's gone. When she asks just remind her that he'll be back on X-day and that you are staying there. I personally wouldn't sleep with her, get yourself an inexpensive baby monitor instead. She's going to be upset any way you do this so opt for as close to the truth as you can.
What is your Mom's diagnosis? Dementia? Memory impairment? If so, to what degree or level? How old is she?
You can tell her any therapeutic fib you think she will accept: Her husband is "gone for the day helping a friend" or doing something that you know she wouldn't like to participate in. If she's been shadowing him, then it won't matter what you tell her, she'll still have "seeking" behavior.
You'll have to see if sleeping in the same room makes any difference. If your Mom has dementia, any amount of change can through them off, so have tempered expectations. You may want to consider giving her a sleep aid (like Tylenol PM) and keeping her physically busy during the day so that she sleeps well at night.