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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
tumberg, for me on-line grocery shopping with curb-side pickup was a Godsend. I tried to do both grocery lists inside the store but it became too overwhelming dragging around 2 grocery carts. And since I was still working full-time, going grocery shopping Sat and again on Sun was very time consuming.
If the grocery store overcharged my Mom even 10 cents she wanted me to go back to the store with the item, the receipt and grocery ad. So I just pretended I went back to the store, as it would have cost me more than 10 cents in gasoline. I gave Mom a dime out of my own pocket.
Oh, if you are caring for both parents, make a doctor appt for both of them at the same time (if they both see that specialist). One thing I learned on the paperwork that the front desk gives you to fill out for them... I just drew a line through the paperwork and wrote "same as before".
Good clear lighting throughout the house, porch, decks and outdoor lighting on paths used in the yard. Especially in the bathroom.
Yard maintenance guys on a schedule.
House cleaner either couple time a year if the well spouse or live-in family can do weekly chores. And they move seasonal stuff in & out. Or weekly housekeeper if not.
Helpful: Having the right tools. A good hospital bed, wheelchair, hoyer lift, commode/shower chair, a ROLL-IN shower (not walk-in, which does NOT accommodate someone who is wheelchair bound!) Lots of bedpads, washable and disposable, diapers, creams and ointments, gloves, wipes, and throw blankets.
Unhelpful: Nothing irks me more than yet another suggestion or reminder to "take care of yourself" !! What does that mean exactly?! The people who utter such nonsense have obviously never been stuck providing 24 hour care for someone, with no help!
My parents hire a housecleaner to clean their house weekly. They could afford to gift me a one time housecleaning. But, they don't. That would be helpful!
They could stop inviting themselves over for dinner once a month. Whenever MY grandchildren come over, my dad and stepmom expect they should be included, but they are actually too busy for family, so it feels belittling as they consult their busy schedule to find an hour on their calendar that works for them to come over and invade my house, while I am taking care of a bed-ridden spouse, 3 grandchildren, and making dinner for EVERYBODY! If you have a family member or a friend who is taking care of a disabled person full time, it's ok if you don't feel compelled to help with the hands on. Understandably, that makes some people really uncomfortable. BUT, Don't make everything about YOU and expect the carer to do things for you in their "spare time"! Don't come over empty-handed and expect the caregiver to play hostess! Bring coffee, snacks, a meal. Clean the dishes in the sink, if there are any. Run the vacuum for them. Fix something that is broken, that the caregiver hasn't had the time or money to take care of. Engage with the ill family member - sit and talk with them, listen to them, bring them something to eat, just keep them pre-occupied for a few minutes! No one wants to do that, because it is uncomfortable, or unpleasant. But what a relief to the caregiver who does it DAILY!
Practical day to day supports can include things that have nothing to do with caregiving. Hire a cleaning service. Have your groceries delivered or do online shop and pickup. Hire someone to take care of lawn care, yard work and snow removal. Hire a pet walker. Compile a list of restaurants that do delivery and food services that provide meals that can be kept on hand to use later. Visit - caregiving can be lonely and having friends come by can really help lighten a bad day. Bring a tray of coffees or snacks from the local shop, and don't outstay your welcome.
@Sandra2424... I have said for years that finding a good..I mean REAL good Support Group is like trying to find a GOOD pair of shoes or a GOOD bra...You have to try on several before you find the one that makes you feel comfortable. I suppose it is the same for social workers as well. I know it is that way for caregivers. I went through many that were ok, a few that were terrible and the last two were simply angels. So please do not give up on Support Groups. Don't give up on Therapists, Social Workers or Caregivers.
"Loved Ones" is a common term throughout support groups, social workers, even news reports where they speak of loved ones dying in plane crashes, and written advice. It is a politically correct term to call people being cared for to try to humanize them. It can be guilt producing for care providers who do not feeI love. I have spent 40 years in healthcare and it is prevalent.
I tried support groups, presentations by social workers for caregivers, etc. The thing that really hurt was their use of the term "LOVED ONES" used to refer to the people we are caring for. Do this for your loved ones, do that for your loved ones. I was very burned out from caring for my mother and monster may have been a better term for her than loved one, at least at that point in my life. I felt very judged and guilty because I wasn't doing well and didn't have much love left. I even told one of the social workers that they should use a different term. I suggested using something like "person you are caring for" or "person needing care." I finally left the group in tears because I couldn't stand it. I have the feeling that many caregivers are taking care of friends and relatives for whom they don't feel much love, at least at the moment they are doing the caregiving. I just flinched every time I heard the term loved ones.
Useless: "Find time for self care. Make time for your own Dr. appts. " What would have been helpful, but I did not have: A sibling to help and split duties with. Someone else to transport mother to the 39 plus out of town dr appts. Someone else other than my husband and myself to manage her house when things broke (and it was hoarded and in bad repair, so full of broken things. Someone else to take her elderly dog to the vet. I watched my MIL and her sister both 70 plus, manage their 100 year old mother by alternating weeks "on duty" while the other traveled, taking turns taking their mom to the dr. etc. Them having each other is the only way they managed. The last two years or so they were also able to hire private aides who were very good and caring. I had none of that.
Lots of grab bars. Grab bars by the doors leading to the outside. Grab bars by the toilet and going into the shower, and the stairwell leading to our basement. We had grab bars all over my parents' house. You can never have too many. I think it helped, we didn't have many falls.
Make sure there is a walk in shower with a seat, get rid of the bath tub.
One good thing was our local senior center. They were able to bump mom up the four year waiting list for Meals on Wheels, and also I (as the lone Caregiver) was able to get a small check of $160 a month from them to use for diapers, creams, etc. That truly was a massive help to me.
Also, Mom's insurance providing access to us renting a Hospital Bed, and a Hoyer Lift so I didn't have to keep lifting her in and out of bed.
Being the only Caregiver - (unpaid) there was no day to day help.
However, the one thing that I remember that *sounded* good but was USELESS were stupid articles telling me to "take care of myself" and make sure "to ask for help." haha Yeah, right - when it was just me and bed bound Mom. Very, very, very irritating to read that garbage time and time again.
The whole "care for yourself" is utter horse apples. No suggestions as how to locate the magic care Fairy who will dispense their expertise, spells upon the person with dementia and freeing you up to take a round the world luxury cruise. Like where do these people come from who write this utter garbage? Sure, I'd like to take care of myself. A weekend in NYC, museums, music, restaurants would do me a world of good. And when I get back, the person I'm caring for had better be in better shape mentally than when I left.
I would second Rosered6. My parents moved to an independent living apartment in September due to my dad's dangerous decision making. He hates it there. My mom, who is his primary caretaker and totally independent herself, doesn't really like it but knows that if they move home her burden will increase. Having someone other than us (secondary caretakers) visit them regularly would be so helpful. My dad says things like, "I'm just sitting in this apartment waiting to die." Yet, he won't go places, do activities, or sit and socialize with other residents. He is definitely an attention seeker and that behavior is getting worse and worse with his dementia. I am losing my ability to empathize. I would love for someone else to give him attention.
I will add what sounds good but is totally useless? ALL of the government "help" agencies and support group meetings and caregiver class opportunities. I have called and left messages...never returned. I have asked physicians for help...they refer to these agencies. I don't have time for support groups or classes. We need actual assistance, not words. These programs are all about redirecting us the same way we are redirecting our Alzheimer/Dementia loved ones. They don't have real tangible assistance. They have words....lot of words....no tangible help. Totally worthless.
Caregiver support groups can intensify the feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness because we often take on the added miseries of others in the group. Instead of only being depressed with our own situation, we're then depressed about everyone else's too.
Plus the facilitators of such groups don't seem to have the training they need to make the group meeting a positive experience. Sometimes one attendee grabs the narrative and you're listening only to her spiel about blah blah blah. When others can't participate because she's hogging all the attention, they're being denied their chance to vent or make friends of whatever. So, why attend? And anyway, we need to get home before Aunt Myrtis has her next bowel movement.
My sister was the primary caregiver for our mom when mom still lived in her own home. Now my sister is mom's primary visitor (she goes almost every day for a few hours) at the assisted-living facility. I think my sister appreciates it when other people visit mom, either when my sister is there or not. For example, I live in a different city, I still work, and I try to visit mom and my sister once per week.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If the grocery store overcharged my Mom even 10 cents she wanted me to go back to the store with the item, the receipt and grocery ad. So I just pretended I went back to the store, as it would have cost me more than 10 cents in gasoline. I gave Mom a dime out of my own pocket.
Oh, if you are caring for both parents, make a doctor appt for both of them at the same time (if they both see that specialist). One thing I learned on the paperwork that the front desk gives you to fill out for them... I just drew a line through the paperwork and wrote "same as before".
Yard maintenance guys on a schedule.
House cleaner either couple time a year if the well spouse or live-in family can do weekly chores. And they move seasonal stuff in & out. Or weekly housekeeper if not.
Bathrooms made as ADA compliant as possible.
Unhelpful: Nothing irks me more than yet another suggestion or reminder to "take care of yourself" !! What does that mean exactly?! The people who utter such nonsense have obviously never been stuck providing 24 hour care for someone, with no help!
My parents hire a housecleaner to clean their house weekly. They could afford to gift me a one time housecleaning. But, they don't. That would be helpful!
They could stop inviting themselves over for dinner once a month. Whenever MY grandchildren come over, my dad and stepmom expect they should be included, but they are actually too busy for family, so it feels belittling as they consult their busy schedule to find an hour on their calendar that works for them to come over and invade my house, while I am taking care of a bed-ridden spouse, 3 grandchildren, and making dinner for EVERYBODY!
If you have a family member or a friend who is taking care of a disabled person full time, it's ok if you don't feel compelled to help with the hands on. Understandably, that makes some people really uncomfortable. BUT, Don't make everything about YOU and expect the carer to do things for you in their "spare time"!
Don't come over empty-handed and expect the caregiver to play hostess! Bring coffee, snacks, a meal. Clean the dishes in the sink, if there are any. Run the vacuum for them. Fix something that is broken, that the caregiver hasn't had the time or money to take care of. Engage with the ill family member - sit and talk with them, listen to them, bring them something to eat, just keep them pre-occupied for a few minutes! No one wants to do that, because it is uncomfortable, or unpleasant. But what a relief to the caregiver who does it DAILY!
I have said for years that finding a good..I mean REAL good Support Group is like trying to find a GOOD pair of shoes or a GOOD bra...You have to try on several before you find the one that makes you feel comfortable.
I suppose it is the same for social workers as well.
I know it is that way for caregivers. I went through many that were ok, a few that were terrible and the last two were simply angels.
So please do not give up on Support Groups.
Don't give up on Therapists, Social Workers or Caregivers.
Make sure there is a walk in shower with a seat, get rid of the bath tub.
Also, Mom's insurance providing access to us renting a Hospital Bed, and a Hoyer Lift so I didn't have to keep lifting her in and out of bed.
Being the only Caregiver - (unpaid) there was no day to day help.
However, the one thing that I remember that *sounded* good but was USELESS were stupid articles telling me to "take care of myself" and make sure "to ask for help." haha Yeah, right - when it was just me and bed bound Mom. Very, very, very irritating to read that garbage time and time again.
I will add what sounds good but is totally useless? ALL of the government "help" agencies and support group meetings and caregiver class opportunities. I have called and left messages...never returned. I have asked physicians for help...they refer to these agencies. I don't have time for support groups or classes. We need actual assistance, not words. These programs are all about redirecting us the same way we are redirecting our Alzheimer/Dementia loved ones. They don't have real tangible assistance. They have words....lot of words....no tangible help. Totally worthless.
Plus the facilitators of such groups don't seem to have the training they need to make the group meeting a positive experience. Sometimes one attendee grabs the narrative and you're listening only to her spiel about blah blah blah. When others can't participate because she's hogging all the attention, they're being denied their chance to vent or make friends of whatever. So, why attend? And anyway, we need to get home before Aunt Myrtis has her next bowel movement.