Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
When my late husband was bedridden in our living room in a hospital bed and under hospice care, there would be times that I would run to the store to pick up a few things, and sometimes a lot of things. But I live about 2 minutes from a Super Walmart and 2 minutes from a Food Lion grocery store, and I had a security camera on our mantel so I could check in on him on my phone while I was out and about. Thankfully nothing happened while I was away. And yes, I could have had my groceries delivered, or ordered them online to pick up, but I'm sure just like you, there were times when I really just needed to get out of the house to feel a little more normal and for but a little while forget about my reality at home. So the choice is yours, and there is no wrong answer here. Just make sure that your wife is safe if you decide to venture out for a little while.
I do. While I agree with all the posters who say you should not, because what if there is a fire in the house while you are gone? Or some other emergency? Or, what if you get involved in an accident while you are out? Or if you have a heart attack while you are out? I think about all of those possible dangers when my husband is left alone. But, the reality is sometimes I just need to leave for a short time. I do order a lot online and have a lot of stuff delivered! But, I will not spend the rest of my life confined to my home to ensure my husband's safety. It has been challenging finding an aide to come to the house to relieve me for an hour or two. My husband's behavior is so difficult, attendant care workers quit. I've had several who declined the job after meeting him. He gives them a menacing look and makes a fist. So, he is just going to have to be alone sometimes. I do have a camera so I can check in on him while I am out. I can also hear him and talk to him through the camera. Yes, I worry about the What-Ifs. I pray and hope nothing bad happens while I am out. Emergencies and accidents do happen in life. And sometimes with tragic results. So, should you? Probably better to have someone come stay with her so you can leave for errands. I would have someone stay with my husband if I can find someone. But, my life goes on with or without help. I do what I need to do.
You are right CaringWife, we do what we need to do. And sometimes that is getting away for a little while to get some fresh air and a change of scenery. We often forget that the caregiver matters too in these situations.
Certainly. Many people are incapacitated by w/c and work, live their entire lives alone. What is crucial here is your wife being mentally capable, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the wheelchair. Is she mentally alert and able to access you by phone if she has a problem, or a neighbor? Or 911. This is a matter of her MENTAL status, not her being w/c bound.
Get a home health aide for a couple of days a week. A home care service will be your best bet.
You need to do things for yourself such as; grocery shopping, dental and medical appointments, hair appointments and other errands. Maybe have a lunch out and coffee with a friend.
You need to do things that will keep you balanced and healthy.
Sounds like your wife would not be able to leave the house on her own in a fire or you wouldn’t be asking this .
Maybe have food delivered? Or perhaps call your County Agency of Aging to see if they have volunteers to sit with your wife while you go out . Or if you can afford it hire someone to sit with your wife so you can get out and get breaks in general , not just for grocery shopping .
This post is under ALZ/Dementia. I would not leave a person suffering from Dementia and wheelchair bound. Dementia is too unpredictable.
If wife was of sound mind and understood you would only be away for an hour or so, I don't see a problem. If you have a ramp, make sure she knows how to get out of the house on her own. She calls 911 once she is out of the house.
We have Emergency Management in our County. If you have this, see if they have a list you can sign your wife up for. You tell them she is wheelchair bound. Ours has a sticker you put in the window that shows someone is disabled in the house.
Best not to if she can’t save herself in an emergency. Is there a neighbor or friend who could stop by for a visit weekly so you could go out for a bit. It’s important for you to be able to get out to the store, park, library or whatever suits you, from time to time. Ask around to people you know & see if they’d be willing. Maybe offering to pay them some too would help.
NO! She does need to be alone at all. It would be like leaving a child home alone.
Have groceries delivered if possible. Most big grocery stores offer this service. Yes it costs money, but it’s worth it to keep wife safe. Or you could call local churches, even if you’re not religious. Some churches have ministries for elders.
A few years ago, can’t recall where exactly, an elderly wife had just had hip surgery and was in a wheelchair. Her husband was out somewhere. House caught fire in the attic. She called 911 but she couldn’t get out. She was still on the phone as the fire spread all over the house. She did not survive.
Walmart, Amazon and hometown supermarkets all deliver now. The cost is reasonable, ordering is easy online, and they'll even carry the groceries into the house if you like. I haven't shopped for groceries in a store for 5.5 years, and plan never to do so again. Their shoppers do as good a job with picking out fresh vegetables and fruit as I do.
You'll save on gas, you'll save your precious time, and you can order other items, such as makeup or hardware in the same order.
And no, you shouldn't leave wife alone for an hour. If she is unable to save herself from a calamity there, you must have a caregiver with her or take her along. Taking her out in a wheelchair would be my last choice. She's better off at home.
Everyone will tell you the same thing. No you should not leave your wife home alone. I would say this even if she were not in a wheelchair. I will also tell you that if everyone were honest they would tell you that at some point they did leave their LO at home alone. They may have been sleeping, they may have been the type of person to simply not get up and wander about. But there is ALWAYS a chance that something might happen. And 99.99% of the time nothing would happen. It is that slight % that will forever change your life if something happens.
The safest thing is to get a caregiver that can come in for a few hours 1 or 2 days a week. This gives you more time to do a few things for yourself. You can make this as easy as you want. If you are going to be gone 3 or 4 hours and your wife will need no "hands on care" you can get a "companion sitter" rather than a caregiver. This would be less expensive. If you want the caregiver to change your wife or give her lunch then that is more "hands on" and you would need a caregiver. If medications are to be given that would cost more and you would need someone that is trained. (if you are going through an agency) this would be more expensive yet. You can check with your local Senior Service Center or Are Agency on Aging and see if you qualify for any services. If your wife is a Veteran she may qualify for benefits through the VA.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Thankfully nothing happened while I was away.
And yes, I could have had my groceries delivered, or ordered them online to pick up, but I'm sure just like you, there were times when I really just needed to get out of the house to feel a little more normal and for but a little while forget about my reality at home.
So the choice is yours, and there is no wrong answer here. Just make sure that your wife is safe if you decide to venture out for a little while.
While I agree with all the posters who say you should not, because what if there is a fire in the house while you are gone? Or some other emergency? Or, what if you get involved in an accident while you are out? Or if you have a heart attack while you are out?
I think about all of those possible dangers when my husband is left alone.
But, the reality is sometimes I just need to leave for a short time. I do order a lot online and have a lot of stuff delivered! But, I will not spend the rest of my life confined to my home to ensure my husband's safety. It has been challenging finding an aide to come to the house to relieve me for an hour or two. My husband's behavior is so difficult, attendant care workers quit. I've had several who declined the job after meeting him. He gives them a menacing look and makes a fist. So, he is just going to have to be alone sometimes. I do have a camera so I can check in on him while I am out. I can also hear him and talk to him through the camera.
Yes, I worry about the What-Ifs. I pray and hope nothing bad happens while I am out. Emergencies and accidents do happen in life. And sometimes with tragic results.
So, should you? Probably better to have someone come stay with her so you can leave for errands. I would have someone stay with my husband if I can find someone. But, my life goes on with or without help. I do what I need to do.
We often forget that the caregiver matters too in these situations.
What is crucial here is your wife being mentally capable, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the wheelchair. Is she mentally alert and able to access you by phone if she has a problem, or a neighbor? Or 911. This is a matter of her MENTAL status, not her being w/c bound.
You need to do things for yourself such as; grocery shopping, dental and medical appointments, hair appointments and other errands. Maybe have a lunch out and coffee with a friend.
You need to do things that will keep you balanced and healthy.
Maybe have food delivered? Or perhaps call your County Agency of Aging to see if they have volunteers to sit with your wife while you go out . Or if you can afford it hire someone to sit with your wife so you can get out and get breaks in general , not just for grocery shopping .
If wife was of sound mind and understood you would only be away for an hour or so, I don't see a problem. If you have a ramp, make sure she knows how to get out of the house on her own. She calls 911 once she is out of the house.
We have Emergency Management in our County. If you have this, see if they have a list you can sign your wife up for. You tell them she is wheelchair bound. Ours has a sticker you put in the window that shows someone is disabled in the house.
Is there a neighbor or friend who could stop by for a visit weekly so you could go out for a bit. It’s important for you to be able to get out to the store, park, library or whatever suits you, from time to time. Ask around to people you know & see if they’d be willing. Maybe offering to pay them some too would help.
Have groceries delivered if possible. Most big grocery stores offer this service. Yes it costs money, but it’s worth it to keep wife safe. Or you could call local churches, even if you’re not religious. Some churches have ministries for elders.
A few years ago, can’t recall where exactly, an elderly wife had just had hip surgery and was in a wheelchair. Her husband was out somewhere. House caught fire in the attic. She called 911 but she couldn’t get out. She was still on the phone as the fire spread all over the house. She did not survive.
You'll save on gas, you'll save your precious time, and you can order other items, such as makeup or hardware in the same order.
And no, you shouldn't leave wife alone for an hour. If she is unable to save herself from a calamity there, you must have a caregiver with her or take her along. Taking her out in a wheelchair would be my last choice. She's better off at home.
I would say this even if she were not in a wheelchair.
I will also tell you that if everyone were honest they would tell you that at some point they did leave their LO at home alone.
They may have been sleeping, they may have been the type of person to simply not get up and wander about.
But there is ALWAYS a chance that something might happen. And 99.99% of the time nothing would happen. It is that slight % that will forever change your life if something happens.
The safest thing is to get a caregiver that can come in for a few hours 1 or 2 days a week. This gives you more time to do a few things for yourself.
You can make this as easy as you want. If you are going to be gone 3 or 4 hours and your wife will need no "hands on care" you can get a "companion sitter" rather than a caregiver. This would be less expensive.
If you want the caregiver to change your wife or give her lunch then that is more "hands on" and you would need a caregiver.
If medications are to be given that would cost more and you would need someone that is trained. (if you are going through an agency) this would be more expensive yet.
You can check with your local Senior Service Center or Are Agency on Aging and see if you qualify for any services.
If your wife is a Veteran she may qualify for benefits through the VA.
See All Answers