I see on these boards that sometimes parent will get dementia and the responses are that the parent needs to be moved to a memory care facility. But no one talks about the expense of the facility and how to pay for it.
I worry because I don’t want to see my children spending their savings because I am in care. It especially bothers me that my mind will not appreciate their sacrifice. I don’t want them paying for anything.
If I ever needed to be moved to memory care at the end of my life, chances are that my savings will almost be depleted. I figured that the sale of my home will buy a year or two. But what happens after that?
I am not a veteran.
It appears that Medicaid will not pick up the costs.
If you are paying for dementia care, where are the funds coming from?
Has anyone been in a situation where there was an eviction from a center due to non payment?
Will becoming a ward of the state solve the issue?
What are you paying for dementia care?
How many years have you been paying for dementia care?
Thank you!
You are correct that your children should not be casting their OWN savings for their OWN aging process onto your burning funeral pyre. Tell them that NOW in no uncertain terms. It will take an entire lifetime of good jobs, good timing, good luck and a whole lot of coupon clipping to get them set for their own aging.
If I ever come to you expecting money, please know that dementia has kicked in. I would never do this to you. You have my permission to put me into any facility that is under my income level. Visit me if I don’t turn mean.
The last thing I would ever want is to see you drain your savings and future to pay for care when I don’t even have the mental capacity to appreciate it. You need to save for your future.
I have heard in some facilities the wait is 1 to 2 years for Medicaid bed to become available. But that may be because people that are already residents "take" the Medicaid available spot when it opens.
I have friends that have put their LO on a wait list and when they were called they were not ready so they declined and were put back on the list.
Also greatly depends on the area you live.
The facility costs between $8,000 and $9,000 per month. Mom is self-paying.
Mom's financial good fortune has roots many decades ago. My dad served in World War II. Because he contracted malaria while in service, his graduate school education was paid for in full, thanks to the GI Bill. He got a job as a teacher at a public college. He earned a reasonable salary, and he got a state pension when he retired. My parents probably lived beneath their means, but it didn't feel that way when we were growing up. Life cost less back then.
Mom was an only child, and she was the sole beneficiary when her father died. He definitely lived beneath his means, and he lived at home, alone, until his death at age 82.
Mom probably has enough money to pay for 3 more years at the facility. I hope that she doesn't live that long, just because her physical and mental health are poor and it's hard for her to suffer and for us to see her suffer. The facility itself is very good. Most of the staff members are competent and compassionate.
I don't think that there is much individuals can do to prevent themselves from getting dementia. I do think there are things individuals can do to make it less likely that they will need to live in a long-term care facility for other conditions. I suggest the following: Exercise regularly, become or stay physically flexible, make your home safe for aging in place, avoid overuse of alcohol, don't smoke.
It's important to save all of our lives for our elder care. Pull back on the European vacation. Don't buy a new car every two years. Be frugal. Be smart. Live beneath your means. Save and invest!
That's what my husband and I both did. He had long-term care insurance. (He'd have been better off investing the money in a mutual fund years ago, not a policy, but that's water under the bridge.) The insurance paid for exactly two months in memory care. That's all. What then? Cashed in investments. Thank goodness there are some. Then what? I pursued having the military, in which he served for many years, declare him 100% disabled from service-related injuries, which they did. Like many others, he suffers from dementia caused by Agent Orange and other toxicities, plus nerve damage caused by his job in the service. He can't walk, can't talk, and needs 24/7 memory care. So he gets a stipend from the VA, but what now? The price of care is increasing. The VA allotment does not cover all the care he needs.
Luckily, though it was not because of luck but because of wise early planning, we have equity in our house. If husband survives long enough to outlive our investment savings, the house gets sold. But what then? Somehow I need to be taken care of because my spouse will never be well enough to be my caregiver. Our savings and investments must provide for me; there's his share and my share. Hopefully they will be sufficient. But what if they aren't? Medicaid.
I find that many people never think about how much money they'll need in old age. We did. But will it be enough? I don't know yet, but we did our best.
The funds for Memory Care are Out of pocket so if you do not have funds saved it does put you in a bind.
If you can afford it now going into a Continuing Care Community where you are able to remain through various stages from Independent, Assisted, Memory Care and Skilled Nursing. they are not inexpensive.
Some places will have "specials" where there will be no raise in rent. This does not mean that the "extra" fees will not increase.
As to being a Ward of the State. This would mean that you have no POA to make decisions for you. It also means that you would most likely be on Medicaid. the Court Appointed Guardian would make all the decisions for you for Medical and Financial matters. This means that your family would have little to no say as to where you would be placed or what medical decisions would be made. This is not something that you would necessarily want. You can when it is appropriate apply for Medicaid and you would go on a waiting list for an opening in a facility that accepts Medicaid. the best case would be you select a place become a resident and pay out of pocket for generally 2 years before you apply for Medicaid. BUT you have to be sure that the facility that you select accepts Medicaid. Then you can remain in your chosen facility.
As to how I paid...
I kept my Husband at home and with the Help of Hospice I was able to manage his care. With the help of the VA I found a program that would help pay for several hours of caregivers 5 days a week.
How I will pay for MY care...I purchase Long Term Care Insurance and I plan on remaining in my home. I will not expect or depend on family to care for me.