Mom is in memory care in very rapid cognitive decline. She's been in memory care a year. She yells, cries and moans all the time but thens tell staff there's nothing wrong with her. She has started urinating in the common room in front of everybody, as well her room.The staff are frustrated that she's taking all their time. She is in a mixed population where memory care is not isolated, it's mixed in with assisted living. They balance the staff out according to group care levels. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put her in a skilled nursing facility. She keeps crying and saying I wanna go home. It's hard to redirect her. Please help me find ways to answer that.
As for answering when she wanted to visit her siblings (all had passed), I really had to think quickly for an answer that my Mom would accept. Such as "oh, Grace, has to work overtime".... or "Sonny is busy buying new parts for the milking machines".... or "Ethel has her husband's parents over for dinner". Whew, but I could use the same therapeutic fibs each time, as Mom would forget how I answered days before.
As far as her repeated requests to go home, it's heartbreaking but common. Depending on how long her memory is lasting you can say things like yes I'll take you home after dinner/ tomorrow/ on Monday. Calming medications to help her not be so miserable seem like a good idea too.
It can be exhausting but it avoided arguments.
I realize I was very lucky this worked but she was relatively happy and safe till she passed at 95.
My condolences on losing your mom.
You did good for her. Gena
1. We can go home when we are finished here. We still have a few things to do here.
2. I have to get your room ready, then you can come home.
3. Tell your loved one how nice their new home is and how it was made special just for them.
I have found that by having a familiar item in their room also helps when the item is pointed out and your loved one is reminded it’s theirs.
A special chair, pictures of loved ones, etc.
Little white lies are ok when your loved one is made to feel calm and secure.
Also, when you have to leave your loved one, tell them you have to run errands. They will accept your leaving much better.