Bed bug situation and I physically can't do prep work. Reported to DCF/APS and they don't help with bed bug situation and they said i was "the bad guy " in the report!
I've done everything to try to get help. Instead I am Reported by one of 2 people.
Entirely ludicrous! I was appalled!
I am disabled now 66 and I have been here for 12 years. The dpoa is my sister and lives 15 minutes away yet never helps.
A malignant narcissist and I am scapegoat. She is the sweetest person to everyone yet pours it on when the door closes. Meaning the drama starts to let me know how much pain she is in. Needs to be center of attention 100% of the time.
Please don't say "just leave" heard it all. Hospice care stopped housekeeping stopped and meals on wheels. Yet they all expect me with broken back, blood clot, causing major issues with moving, resting is STILL not being taken care of for a year and 7 months..Well I am going to have to file an abuse report myself. I cannot trust anyone. Was in ER today but just given referrals that won't be taken care of by my PCP again. What is wrong here? No one will help ME. Time to go but can't.
Sister is POA with her name on everything. She is legally responsible. If I ever get out of here the 1st thing she'll do is to put her somewhere.
So tired of this. So, tell me who will get the house ready? Not COA, not Hospice, not APS not BOH, EPA but just blame me.
Mom said she won't pay for it because she won't be here long.
Guess I don't matter.
The above post is from 2017. Of course your the badguy, they have a report of abuse, maybe not true, but still a report. Yes, something should be done about the bedbugs and sister could pay an exterminator to come in and fumigate. ER referrals are not up to your PCP to handle. You call the Doctors in question, confirm they take your insurance and make an appointment.
I had a friend who was always crying, poor me. She did have a bad heart and diabetes. She took an early retirement and eventually her SS and pension did not cover her needs. Did she get help, no. Did not want Medicaid in home help. No strangers in her house. Did not want to use the Senior bus. Rather cry to her friends when she needed a ride. Would not move out of her 2 bedroom apart to a 1 bedroom (cheaper) because one of her grands may stay the night. (Never would happen because she was estranged from her kids) Her life ended up in rehab with a broken femur. Then they found out she had stomach cancer. She was an unsafe discharge because no one to take care of her at home and no money. She died at the age of 70 in a nursing home.
I will assume at 66 you are collecting Social Security and have Medicare. You may be able to get Social Supplemental income (SSI) that will give you more money to live on and maybe medicaid. Start looking for HUD subsidized apartments. They ask for 30% of your monthly income for rent. You pay for the electric you use. (I think our apts charge a flat rate for electric) They are handicap excessible. Phone, if on assistance, major phone companies will give a free phone with so many minutes. I use tracphone and I pay $120 for the year. TV, you can get an antenna no need for cable. Food, what you can't afford, you can go to food banks. By being on your own, you may qualify for certain resources. Help is out there but you need to do what you have to do to receive it. You have to do the work.
Don't worry about Mom, your sister will take care of her. If its found Mom needs 24/7 care, then maybe a NH will be a good thing.
I hate to put it to you like this but if you dropped dead, the situation would get resolved without you being there. Something would be figured out. No one of us is irreplaceable. Life goes on.
Notify your sister who is the DPOA that you are unable to carry on. Let her decide what needs to be done. You might not like that your mother is being placed in LTC but it sounds like it would be for the best. You are not able to do it any longer, just be honest with yourself.
So yes you can move on. You are the only one standing in your way. Good luck!