Follow
Share

After finding out my mom, who has dementia and is in Assisted Living, has been taking her dogs for a walk on her own, without supervision, we have decided she needs additional supervision, so we are moving her to Memory Care. We know this will be very traumatic for her since she can't have her dogs with her. She's become very attached to her dogs after my dad passed 6 years ago. They have become her security blanket. How long may this take for her to forget about her dogs and hopefully make some friends?

Find Care & Housing
Who is the "we" that decided it's time for MC, and is your concern about walking the dogs the only reason? My mom's facility allows pets and I know dog walking is a service you can pay for at her place. So is a walking companion. Does the AL agree that it's time for MC? Is it in the same facility?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Slartibartfast
Report

What are your plans for her dogs? Is someone in the family going to take them in? If so perhaps the memory care facility will allow her dogs to come visit with her occasionally.
I know that when a 100 year old lady that I visited regularly who had a dog in her home had to be moved into an assisted living facility, a friend of hers took her dog to care for and would bring him to see her in the facility every week or so until she passed. Both were always very happy to see each other.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to funkygrandma59
Report

If she's had the dogs for 6 years they are more embedded in her memory so she might remember them for a while. You can use a "therapeutic fib" to keep her calm during this transition, something like: "We're going to take the dogs in for their annual exam" and then when they don't return and she asks about them you can tell her something else.

Also, please have tempered expectations about her "making some friends" in MC... dementia breaks people's brains so that they can't function socially as before. If the facility has an Activities Director, get your Mom on her radar so that the staff will try to get her more engaged.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

It will be hard for her, no doubt. Hopefully you can find a nice family to rehome her dogs, and keep in touch with her with photos or video calls.

It's not a replacement for the animals she loves, but there are some very realistic robotic dogs, which could become her new security blanket. Google it.

If mom gets depressed and angry with you, do not fall into the trap of trying to fix it for her. You can not. Her aging body is failing her, and she needs the care and safety of a memory care facility. As her dementia progresses, you can not reason with her or explain anything to her satisfaction.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to CaringWifeAZ
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter