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You said it, now do it. Leave and go back to your wife. Your parents are beyond reasonable. Eventually your parents will be forced into doing things due to their pending incompetency.
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Your parents are being very unreasonable, even abusive. Your moral responsibility ends where the abuse begins. I say: go home to your wife, call your parents weekly, visit quarterly, but otherwise let the chips fall where they may.
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Live-in caretaker, maid, part time assistant, cleaning lady etc. have been discussed many times over with them and my brother. The ( my parents) do not want to see anybody in or around the house. They always say that they brought us up in early life and it is our turn ( me and brother) to do it now. They have no visitors either family or friends over. They get up in the morning, eat, argue, eat some more, argue, sleep in the afternoon, argue, eat supper, watch tv, sleep. That is what they do each and every day. The routine is driving me nuts. I do sincerely believe that they do not want to be around people. My wife is up to the breaking point and will not jeopardize her job to come here for this craziness. Thanks everyone for the quick replies. Perhaps I will just leave and drop the ball on my brother's hands. Let him do as he pleases. I did what I could.
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Well said! Those are the options I would offer as well.Decide on a plan of action and then stick to it. Your wife is just as important as your parents. Maybe you could hire a caregiver for a few days and go visit your wife! Or have her come to you and just have her stay in a hotel or with a friend. A short term solution while you work on a long term solution! Don't get discouraged, it will work out!
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How your brother and his family and your parents react has nothing to do with your response to this situation. You can choose to be calm and diplomatic no matter how they treat you. It is a choice.

Now, with that added info, all the more reason for you to state your case/needs and move along. You can show respect to your parents - but on your terms and not those foisted upon you.

May God bless you with courage, wisdom, and strength. This process is not easy.
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Thanks for the quick reply. There is no diplomacy in our family. There is no calmness, never has been in a long time. I cannot sell their home and neither my brother as he tried to get power of attorney and my father did not sign anything. He does not sign anything anymore and neither my mother. They are both losing it fast if they haven't already. I am not part of their will, but somehow my parents willed the house and everything to my brother's children and ONLY after both my parents die. I am only here taking care out of the very little respect I still can muster for them. My brother\s children don't even like their grandparents as they never come around and see them, only during holidays because they know the will get an envellope with money. They never help around the house, even if it is to cut the front grass. In the 8 months I am here, they came around twice, Christmas and Easter and they never hang around for dinner. And they get the house. That's how crazy things are around this asylum.
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As I see it, here are two options:
1) Sell your parent's home and place them into an ALF near you
2) Find around the clock caregivers

I am not familiar with services in Canada for the elderly, but you can research what is available in your area.

You are not morally responsible to care for your parents - especially at the terrific expense of your own marriage, health and livelihood. You need to be frank, determined, calm and diplomatic with your parents and brother. Have a sit down with all and come up with a plan. State your boundaries and concerns and provide options.

This is a lesson in boundary drawing for you. Be strong. Be alert. Be sober. Be unshackled from other people's expectations and demands when they are imposed upon you. Your marriage needs your attention.
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