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What do I do to stay encouraged? Now I'm more distanced from the situation so I can enjoy a whole lot more. Overall, I had to step back, breathe and pray. When I read what people were doing on these boards in coping daily, my outlook turned much brighter. A little easier to handle for me personally.
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Me, just came back from lunch with a dear friend. Makes the day brighter and the task at home easier. I think the key is not to lose yourself on this journey.
Linda
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This sign hangs by my dresser: Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain. Maybe these words will help to find humor, love, patience and faith.
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Today the contractor finally showed up to build a shade structure over the patio!! Mom will be so happy. She loves to sit there, but the sun is to bright!
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Well probably not appropriate but I was encouraged yesterday when I went out and bought myself some new UNDIES!!!! Yep I finally did something for me. I was so happy like a kid in a candy store, and the best part of all THEY FIT, Yippee
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You do need to do something for yourself in our senior there were seniors that made phone calls to shut ins or people who lived alone and I made lap robes for the center to donate to hospitals and nursing and one of my friends knited baby hats for the hospital while caring for her husband above was suppose say our senior center because some day your caregiving work may end and it will be harder if you do not have something you are use to doing for yourself
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Well if that was said by anyone else, I may wonder, but as a caregiver, I COMPLETELY GET IT.... LOL

Happy shopping!
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I have to agree with the being rested. I know that when I am tierd I find my self with less patience and easier to be down and angry for my situation. I try and get exercise regularly and some time to myself each day. Even if that time is only 30 min of reading or planting a flower. I have set up more dates with my husband than I have ever had in my life together with him. I need to get out of the house to vent and just get away. The other thing I recommend is doing overnight stays. This is something I just started the last 6 months with my husband and it has been a wonderful break for me. We will take off to the beach and spend the night in a hotel somewhere. For me it is great to have private time with my husband and it is a REAL treat to wake up in the morning, be alone with my coffee and hear nothing. You have to find what works for you and then make it part of your routine otherwise you will become unhealthy. When I come home even though it is only one day I am refreshed and encouraged and healthy. I then have the energry and the spirit to carry on with a good attitude.
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Micheleangel,
Good for you. I get excited when I buy a new trash can!!!!!!!! Undies are much better!
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I have a hired cg to care for my parents while i am at work. i would do this even if it took my whole pay check. i thank God for my supportive husband and teen who give me the opportunity to get out of the house now and then. i exercise regularly and i have made my bedroom into a sanctuary where i can listen to music, have computer time,read or just take a power nap. i have my cats(petting a cat is great therapy) and when it gets really bad, i have chocolate!
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Chocolate!!!!! My new diet shake is chocolate and believe, me, it gets me through the day!!! Yearight, I like the power nap idea. Might go take one now!
Linda
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Sometimes doing something for myself simply translates to being able to say no to social actvities that start to feel like command performances and non-stop calendar entries, just to see and be seen. These days, I would much rather enjoy a cup of coffee, or a glass of ice water, or green tea with a friend in my garden, rather than dining out at the finest of restaurants and/or attending the most lavish parties. Not looking to impress anyone, just enjoy precious moments of downtime. "For every thing, there is a time and a season under the sun." Right now, leisure and comfort balance my full-time caregiving commitment just fine. Not looking to stack the deck in any way.
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Alena, on your comment about getting away, my Hubby and I did just that in the spring Our kids took care of things here and we threw a few things in a bag and went off for the day and night. It was great!!! Nice to be catered to for a change. I think the best part was it was not planned we just did it. We went to a ski resort in the spring!!! Honestly it didn't matter where we were, it was fun.When we got back the house was still standing all was just fine.
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ewww am i too late? pour me some? who has the chocolate? damn i am always late.......the last week has been so hard...my daughter and i had to take the sick kitten over to my moms...darndest thing.....my mom and the cat really bonded for awhile(she is not a cat person)....kitty nuzzled up and slept with her at night and she wrapped him up in her blanket and cuddled him...it made me tear up....was so good for her then she started feeling weak again and asked me to take him home.....it was so nice to see for a few days tho........kitty was a little angel who knew just what to do.
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Awwwwwww, that's a sweet story, dd-angel. Who got weak; your Mom or kitty? And don't worry, I think there's still some chocolate out there. I like it too, and Good and Plentys. Heard there's beneficial "nutrients" in both. Enjoy!
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did I hear good and Plentys? I love them, yesterday when I bought my new undies I also treated myself to a box of them I was on Cloud 9!!!
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I have to say this site encourages me so much!!! I wish you all a good night and a beautiful day tomorrow, night night.
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Micheleangel, just wondering how the 16th birthday party went for your daughter?
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Happy Birthday to your daughter!! My joy is I just lost 8 LBS!!!!!!!!! I even have a CHOCOLATE shake everyday!
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Good for you, lovingdaughter! You're making me hungry...lol

Hope everyone's day is going well. May the Lord bless you.
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I sure like the way the mention of chocolate perked everyone up.
i am looking forward to tomorrow. i will take a few hrs off work in the afternoon,while my hired help is at home, and just my husband, daughter and myself will go out to lunch to celebrate my husbands BD. No fast food! All the freedom i took for granted in the past is now a wonderful pleasure. Hopeing all is well with all of you.
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Oh, by the way, BD means birthday not Bipolar Disorder, LOL
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Yes, freedom. I took it for granted, too. It's a blessed thing. Hope your day and week is blessed!
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Had fun tonite with my daughter baking cookies for her party, yum they are really good. My Mom enjoyed eating them lol. chocolate chip of course. Then I helped her bake a cake for her boyfriend we have way too many good things to eat around here!!!
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I took my dog for a walk and just was so happy that it stopped raining!! Have a cookie for me. I am on a diet!!
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goodnplenty...chocolate...underwear? diet? who has time to eat? lol......i told my mom she has the cancer and I am losing the weight...we both had a good laugh.....I think i am adding popcorn to the mix........munch munch......we need a movie....i love this site...ummm cookies...i can smell them micheleangel......lots of angels out tonite lol....take care all...
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Yes, angels, indeed. Sounds like a food binge, too. LOL
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My Mom is a difficult one. Always has been. Dad has become so with his decline into the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. But he can still laugh, walk and talk, a little. Today, we went to the beach for a picnic. What person can't enjoy the bright sunshine, cool shade of a summer day, and picnic at the beach? It was wonderful, and refreshed our spirits.

Mom wanted to go, too, but is struggling with symptoms from her myriad of health conditions, and recent bout of new ones from her second Chemotherapy treatment. She is home in bed with a headache, backache, restless legs, and other struggles. She didn't have a great day, but is hoping for a better tomorrow.

I say Mom's difficult. She's always been negative and critical. Today, I'm seeking to stay upbeat and respond to her moods and volatility with grace and gentleness. This is my goal, and sometimes I reach that place.

It is a challenge to learn and grow and stay positive; not just with age and health related issues regarding my parents, but in terms of mental and emotional health as well (theirs as well as mine). This site is just one of the resources God has provided to encourage me to find joy in the journey. It is from here I learn from some of you what works for you, and what doesn't. And often, your experience aids me in dealing with sensitive situations. Thanks so much to all of you who share your experience, strength and hope with others. You bring joy in the journey to those whose lives you touch along the way. Praying your day is blessed!
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I have my mom at home and have her with me 24/7. I find joy in many things - most of all accepting things as they are and finding the best way to deal with them. Thankfully with the internet I can manage work and staying connected to friends.
It is always a joy when I see she is thriving because I took the time to focus on her as she is -
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It seems like food is the great escape of choice? LOL

Getting back to the original question.... some people have an easier time than others. Even though my parents are in assisted living which I am more than grateful for... it does not negate the other heavy responsibilities that come with it.

We had several small trips planned before all the things happened with my mother and gratefully and by God's mercy, we were able to go.

To put it point blank, being out of state, for me was the best thing to find joy. I wish I could afford it more often. I knew that there was not one thing I could do while being out of state, and I was able to unwind just fine.

Despite my dysfunctional relationship with my mother, I still provide for she and my dad, but at a distance. There is no shame in that and no guilt. It's just a different kind of journey.

Cat, I am so grateful that you can accept things as they are in finding the best way to deal with things. I think by the grace of God that's all any of us can do. Some can do it with more finesse than others.

Finding joy in the midst of the journey? It may just be sitting down and enjoying that chocolate for 15 minutes. For some it is the memories of our past. Mine is escaping out of state. Whatever it is, make sure you do it to keep your sanity. That will be the best thing in helping you through this journey.
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