Trying to make this short. I'm 36, my mom is 80 and has Lewy Body dementia. I became her "guardian of the person" in December 2011 after a court battle with my brother (I am adopted, he's my mom's only birth child left living--he's 56). I had to become her permanent guardian after her dementia got very bad, she stopped bathing, eating, buying food, and was hoarding dogs in a condemned house. Once I started the proceedings, my brother fought me tooth and nail to try to get custody of her. Thankfully he didn't because the clerk of court asked him why he never took her out of such a bad situation once he saw how bad she was doing. Fast forward to a year after this court decision--my mom has been steadily getting worse with her dementia. She sees people who aren't there, her conversation is all over the place, she does not bathe herself as good as she should, though I watch her bathe, and she has become increasingly combative--to the point where I have to hide knives and all sharp objects in my bedroom after using them. She only get's $1,320 per month through social security and I am her representative payee. She doesn't own anything...but this is the problem....Over 30 years ago, she bought some land and a single-wide trailer for my brother and his wife as a wedding present (before I ever came into the family). She has never ever lived at this residence, and never ever got the title/deed changed over to my brother and his wife's name...and they are 5 years behind on the taxes on the trailer and land ($1,076 exactly). My brother and his wife have a deed, but I found out at the tax office that because that deed was never filed with their office, that they don't own the property---my mother still does. My mom's mental health is getting worse by the day and I see I will be needing to put her in a nursing home within the next 3 months, if not sooner. I want to know how do I go about doing that? I have been so many different things....that the trailer and land in her name will be taken by the state if I put her in a nursing home--which to be honest, I don't care about. I care about my mom's health and getting her the care she needs. I was told she won't qualify for Medicaid to cover the expense....I need to find some answers quickly so I can get my mom some help. She is up every night in a rage with this dementia and I am seeing that I can't give her the medical and professional help she needs. We live in North Carolina by the way....if ANYONE can give me some help and advice, I would greatly appreciate it. This situation is getting worse by the day....Thank you..... --Maria in NC
I'm going to have to try to take you at their word when you say "they have a deed".If that is truly correct, that would likely have been signed by your mom and notarized at a much earlier date, prior to her dementia. Sale or transfer of real property, as in real estate, always has to be verified by a notary. If this deed does exist, I believe it would be just a matter of recording it and you would have proof that your brother and his wife were the owners many months or years ago. The fact that it wasn't filed only means that your mother is still the owner of record. If the signature and the dates are valid, based on the notarization, I believe that date would prevail and your mother would not have owned the property since that time. That may make a difference to Medicaid.
The way to look back works is if your mom sold the property she would be expected to pay that money for her care for a certain amount of time. You may have to ask your brother to see this (supposed) deed and the date on it. If that turns out to be incorrect, to protect your mom, you may have to force your brother to buy the property so you can use the money for her nursing home care in lieu of getting Medicaid.
Also, you mentioned being guardian of person and representative payee. Somewhere in there are you also guardian of financial? If not, and you have to get a lump sum payment from brother (he would probably have to refinance a property, but that's HIS responsibility if they didn't take care of business), you will probably have to request to be a guardian of financial to receive other money on your moms behalf. That's how it is in California, not sure about NC.
Since you know which NH, set up an appointment with them. They might also help you and/ or give you some other options (for dealing with Medicaid and other funding possibly).
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