Do we go on vacation with my uncle dying?

I've always been very close to my uncle. Our relationship revolves around watching movies together, and (when he was in better health) a lot of outings (taking my daughter when she was younger to a local mini theme park/carnival, the zoo, museums, going out to eat, etc.). He's going to pass soon, and I'll get to the details.

Some important context: I'm adopted, and very close to my adoptive mom's family, which is small and close-knit. My mom has three siblings, and none ever got married or had kids. So I'm the first and only daughter with no siblings, no cousins. My two uncles and my aunt all love kids, but for their own reasons all never had any of their own. This has put a ton of pressure on me my entire life to fill that void for everyone. So I have a complicated relationship with my family — I love them so much, but feel so much pressure all the time to be there for everyone and meet everyone's expectations and needs.

I've also had so many losses and this one is hitting me hard. My mom passed from pancreatic cancer a year and a half ago. My dad was diagnosed with early-onset dementia when I was 16, and lived for 12 years. I helped my mom take care of him, while I had my daughter at age 21.

My mom struggled with losing him and developed some addictions. She'd help with my daughter while I had school, but then go off for days at a time to stay with friends and get away on a bender, leaving me with my baby daughter and my dad with multiple health issues.

Then my other uncle (mom's twin brother) passed quickly from cancer. Then my dad. Then my lifelong best friend. Then my mom passed from pancreatic cancer a year and a half ago. And several other people along the years, including my husband's best friend just last year. I'm so sick of being hit with death and grief. I'm 35 and have lost so many people, and now I'm faced with another one.

My uncle has had health issues for several years, including poor circulation in his leg. He scraped his leg and the wound hasn't healed for years. Last year, he fell and ended up in nursing home for a month. He got out just in time for my mom's celebration of life, which was beautiful but was a whole ordeal between my aunt and I.

Last month, he ended up in the hospital again, and had emergency surgery earlier this week for a blood clot. This resulted in amputation being the only option. And he declined the amputation. He knew it was a possibility for a while, but surprised us by saying he'd rather die than go through that. And I respect his decision and understand where he's coming from, but it was a shock.

So, in his words, he wants two more weeks to go home (not an option), and be with family and watch a few movies he loves. He wants MAID after two weeks. Also not an option. He'll be in the hospital until he passes.

Finally, the question. We have a 12 day trip planned to Hawaii. We leave in one week. A huge chunk of it is nonrefundable, and even if we rescheduled it won't be until the end of summer due to various obligations we have.
Right now he's doing relatively well — as in, I don't see him passing within the week before we leave. But there's no way to know for sure. It could be tomorrow, it could be a month or two.

I hate the thought of leaving knowing he's so close to end. And what if he passes while we're gone? I want to be there for my aunt, too. I know it's a trip and in theory we can do it any time, and eat the money we're out. But there are so many reservations made and conflicts with our schedule it's not super easy. Knowing this trip is coming has been an anchor for me through a really rough year, and trying to cancel and reschedule everything is honestly more than I have the capacity for.

I want to talk to my uncle when I visit tomorrow. I want to tell him I'll visit every day this week and spend time with him, and then video call every day on vacation. I don't know how he'll take it.

What if he gets worse closer to the end of the week? I guess we cancel then?