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Does one need a lot of strength in the hands and wrists to use a walker, i.e. to grab the handles? Asking for a friend...Thanks.
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I Live in Boston and Most elderly people use Rollaters . They can sit down and lean on them . Plus shop.
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Sometimes, our family members will listen to others better than they listen to us. I was very concerned about my mother not wanting to use a walker.

At first I thought her reluctance was due to her being vain. My mother was very stylish. She was part of the Hollywood glamour era. She didn’t even go to the mailbox without her makeup on!

Actually, it was because she thought that a walker would get in our way and be an inconvenience to us. She didn’t want us to have to bother with placing in and out of the car and so on.

For awhile she did fine with a cane but as her Parkinson’s disease progressed she really needed the stability of using a walker. I became frustrated with her reluctance to allow me to purchase one for her.

Then, I decided to enlist the help of my friend who is a nurse. Mom loved my friend and they got along well. I asked my friend to speak with her about using a walker.

My friend told my mom how helpful it was when she was having trouble with her knees and used a walker herself. She raved about how much it would help her with balance issues and mom said that she would try it.

I was grateful to my friend and I was relieved not to feel like a nag.

I realized that mom wasn’t being vain and that she was thinking about inconveniencing us and wasn’t simply being stubborn.

My friend convinced my mom that it wasn’t an inconvenience to place a walker in and out of the car and that we were concerned about her safety.

I also had mom’s doctor speak to her about using the walker at all times.

Once mom started using her walker she loved it and it was a big help for her. This may not work for your mom but it is certainly worth trying.

There are many different kinds of walkers that come in all sizes to accommodate her needs. We bought her a nice rollator with a seat
that was also a storage space to place her purse in.

Best wishes to you and your mother.
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ErinFlorida Nov 2023
Thanks so much for your advice! Definitely dealing with a prideful situation here and she has no problem admitting it. She says they are for old people and does not need one (and actually believes this). Denial has always been a big issues for, even prior to getting dementia.
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You cannot force an elder to use a walker so let the chips fall where they may. If she becomes immobilized from a fall and has to go into Skilled Nursing care as a result, so be it. If she's able to understand that fact, do let her know. We used to decorate moms walker to make it more "fun" for her to use. You can try that, but don't get your hopes up. Dementia wreaks havoc with logic and reasoning.

Let the aides know they are NOT to hide her walker but to leave it out in full view from now on.

Good luck.
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ErinFlorida Nov 2023
Thanks so much!! ♥️
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Bariatric Walker
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lealonnie1 Nov 2023
Seems to me a walker for severely obese people would be MORE of an embarrassment to this woman than a regular walker. I do not understand your "logic" Cover, yet again.
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"Even tho the aids put it in the closet so she doesn't have to see it" may be a problem. She NEEDS to see it, and to be honest, the ALF are full of walkers. Of ALL KINDS. When my bro was in ALF they used to compare walkers in a bit the same way that the young compare THEIR wheels--their cars. A bit of bragging going on.

So see to it she has the cadillac of walkers.
Balance is SUCH a problem for the elders ( I know, I am one at 81 and often feel like a feather in the wind even tho I am active). Falls WILL happen to the aging whether without a walker or OVER a walker. My last two falls were backing up first into a rake, next into a mop. We just can't catch ourselves once we start to go.
It is a rare senior who, s/p several falls, doesn't want to accept that walker. You can only make it fancy, make it PROMINENT, beg, and on you go.

Falls can be the beginning of the end and we all know and have seen it. For my Mom it was. It went from falls to catheters to infections to pneumonia to more falls and so on.
The truth is that it is a harbinger of what's to come.

I hope others here have more useful info for you, and I wish you good luck. I am afraid it is hit or miss with having any luck with this. Do know, especially if you are dealing with DNR status, that trips to the ER, unless there is injury to the head, don't need to be done. But every facility will make its own decision. ALSO know that you don't need to attend each trip tot he ER. My own daughter is two states away. I will be on my own in that ER, and to be frank it's just as well.
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ErinFlorida Nov 2023
Thanks for your sweet response. I’m hoping in due time she will realize that she does in fact need a walker. Your idea of getting a fancy one is very good! I will look into that. And yes, one fall was a very hard hit to the head and the other was getting out of bed but was found still on the ground covered in urine, so I think the ER was necessary for both. Good luck to you and thanks again for the great advice!
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