My mom lovingly and diligently cared for my ailing dad over the past 7-8 years. He had Parkinson's, and she retired to care for him. She was an amazing caregiver.
She has been a window for about a year now, and can't find her purpose. She lives alone and is reluctant to move closer to me or my sibling.
Fortunately, she is relatively healthy and tries to take care of herself physically (through diet and exercise). She is still able to manage her house, finances, etc. So that gives her a little to do.
Her social/emotional health is poor though. She is lonely and bored. :(
She is reluctant to search for activities and volunteer opportunities. I am about 2 hours away, and when she stays with me, I find things for her to do. She is a good sport in trying things but has a hard time making social connections.
She lost conversation skills caring for my declining dad over the past 7-8 years. He had Parkinson's dementia and was unable to provide social companionship.
She is part of a small cultural community but has no close friends. She may get an invitation every 6-8 weeks.
I don't know how to help her. She rejects all advice.
How about joining this forum and help others?
After my folks had passed, I wanted to know more about long ago relatives so I dove into Ancestry..com and newspaper.com plus newspaperarchive.com. and have been doing family trees for over 6 years now. It keeps me so busy. I love it. I have found history on in-laws and outlaws in my family. Scientists and bootleggers :) Everything goes into binders, along with original photos, that I have passed onto younger cousins who childrens are interested in their past relatives.
Your Mom needs to mourn and it is very personal journey.
Yet, as I mentioned before having husband with PD I maybe a year is enough.
We owe to ourselves to live the best possible life past caregiving.
What I notice after 10 or more years of which last 4 become worse, losing dopamine effects not just my husband but me as well. It is easier not to do anything. Or fall into routine and not doing much. I am not taking about socializing only.
But I know if my caregiving ends I would have to do opposite. I would probably go and live in another country for a few months each year, south of France or little town in Italy, Amalfi coast. Maybe I write or paint.
I can tell you one thing I do have lots of interests yet lately I neglected them all, like learning Spanish.
So your post is important reminder for those who deal with prolong, progressive disease of how we need not to neglect ourselves.