OK, I am the senior in question. I am in an add on room (living/bedroom/powder room) at my daughter and son in law's house. I have no idea if it stress or aging related. Today I left the frying pan on after using it. I put my egg on a toasted muffin. My son in law came in the room and added his pop tart right as I took my muffin out. When done he left he the room. I focused on putting the toaster away immediately. My daughter constantly complains if something is left out on the counter. I said I leave the toaster out until it cools and she said she doesn't care if I put it away hot. Other times, she said she doesn't care if I let it out to cool. I know a lot of her unhappiness and anger are because her husband leaves food, dishes, etc. out constantly. In fact, he doesn't much put anything, including tools, away. Then she has issues with her son. Anyway, how do I know if I forgot due to aging versus stress. I left a burner on about 2 months ago and a faucet running once. I have been here just about a year and the constant criticisms are draining. Any suggestions? Thank you.
Guess who did it last week? :-)
I'm going to say stress is the primary cause, especially because you didn't do things in the normal order (dealing with the toaster instead of finishing what you were cooking). However, if you're truly concerned, do as the others say and write lists, get checked out by the doctor, and don't put more stress on your plate.
Honestly, all of us do things and wonder later if we in fact turned off the iron, or the water or left the hose running. I have a 37 yo daughter who is so 'frantic' in her life, she will pack up her kids and run out the door of my house and I go around and pick up a basket worth of stuff she's left behind. Every. Single. Time.
So--age isn't totally the issue here!
So you are wondering if your memory is slipping? How about making a little list that you keep in your place that lists all the things you feel you may forget? Like,
put away toaster. Turn off water. Wipe down counters. Sweep floor. A list for when you leave the house. Purse, keys, jacket, etc. There is NOTHING wrong with making lists. I can't function w/o a list for each day, helping me remember. Otherwise, I'd just be driving/wandering around everyday, wondering what it was I left the house for.
You aren't going to change your SIL, so maybe help out your daughter a little. You sound a little frustrated and that's normal. I'm sorry for you being criticized. I get that too, from my kids and DH, both. (I had cancer and chemo last year and the chemo brain has left me with a lot of deficits in my memory.) DH teases me relentlessly when I cannot remember a name of something. It's bad enough I don't remember things, but to be criticized or teased just makes it worse.
Any chance you can TALK to your daughter and express what you've said here. Tell her you feel really minimized when she criticizes you. She probably is mad at her DH but you're RIGHT THERE and quicker and easier to get to. This is totally displaced 'anger' and she'd probably feel bad if she knew you were hurt.
You sound lovely and kind. I wish you all the best as you navigate these waters!