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I haven't been away overnight without him for 5 years. He has probably had Alzheimers since 2015 according to his neurologist, but diagnosed in 2019. It's hereditary in his family and he was in his early 60's, maybe younger, when it started. He was always so mellow but has anger issues now and will run away. Quite confused alot and has comprehension issues. I fell and had a concussion last June. With family help we made it through but I'm exhausted. I need advice on how to get him to the Memory Care, He also only has about 30 percent hearing with his hearing aids. We toured the facility last week and he did seem to make a connection with one of the directors. He wouldn't talk to me for several hours after.

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Don’t tell him anything, as suggested. Just work with friends and family to quietly set up his room and then take him there for a visit and leave him. The staff should help with this ruse and the transition. It won’t be easy but don’t make it harder than it already is by trying to prepare him, convince him, or give him any say in the matter. It is what needs to happen for both of you.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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I'm so sorry that you're having to face this with your beloved husband with early onset Alzheimer's. It makes me so grateful that my late husband had vascular dementia which only has a life expectancy of just 5 years, as early onset Alzheimer's can go on for 20+ years.
Are you prepared to be caring for your husband at home for another good 10 years? I'm guessing not, so you must now do what is best for the both of you, which includes getting him placed in a the nicest facility you can afford.
The only way to "prepare" your husband would be to set up his room in memory care with things that are familiar to him from home, and then give him time to adjust.
This won't be easy, but it will be for the best. Please don't forget that.
I wish you well as you travel this very difficult road with your dear husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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tblock Apr 28, 2026
Thank you so much.
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I wouldn't speak to him about this at all. Just take him over on the day of, for lunch, and say goodbye, you'll see him soon. He's not going to remember what you tell him a week earlier anyway, so what's the sense? Then you face arguing about it beforehand and him refusing to get in the car on the day of, just in case he does.

There's no easy way, unfortunately. As you say goodbye, tell DH you need time to rest and you'll see him soon.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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tblock Apr 28, 2026
Thank you! It's going to be hard to do but I can't give him all he needs anymore
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You can tell him there is a great new place that he will love and you are going to make all the plans for him to move there so both of you will be safe. Buy something nice for his room and don't worry about guilt. You are doing the right thing even if he never realizes that. Get on multiple wait lists if you can.
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Reply to JustAnon
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tblock Apr 28, 2026
Thank you!
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