My grandparents both have Alzheimers. They swing back and forth with wanting our help (grandchild, daughter, and son in law) and telling us we are the cause of all their problems (which we know is very common with this disease). We are all 3 healthcare & durable POAs. The problem is with their PCP. We have always had access to their medical records online and have recently found they are sharing completely false information and inaccurate accounts of events and medical information. Most recently, when taking them to their visit, they yelled at us in the waiting room and said they did not want us in the room with the doctor. We then found out via the notes that they had shared completely false information with him. He advised they stop sharing healthcare information with us and even suggested cutting us off access to their medical records! This is the Alzheimer talking, as they have stated and begged over and over for us to help them and have access. They are not able to make coherent, informed medical decisions, but their PCP keeps playing the HIPAA card and claiming they are competent. He does not understand that although they can still speak and communicate, they are giving absolutely 100% incorrect information that is causing much more harm than good. Their states are getting so severe that we are doing everything possible to move them closer to us since their days of living independently are quickly coming to a close, even though they deny this.We have shared this with their neurologist who manages their Alzheimer care and are awaiting a phone call. Unfortunately, they refuse to go see him at any appointments anymore because they disagree with his diagnosis.
I don’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s but I am 72. I was surprised that my license application came in before it expired and it is only good for 3 years. I’ve had this license since I was 16 years old and even though I have not driven in 10 years due to my disability but the license was my feeling of youth and vigor. I was emotionally attached to it. I’m now wondering if the next one will diminish one more year down to 2 years and eventually not renewable. I don’t need it as I don’t drive and live in an assisted living facility where all transportation is available but having it makes me feel good. Many people in my assisted living facility have a picture ID instead of a license and it felt good that I still have my drivers license.
Also be aware that if the PCP sees your parents “together” , that superficial tests of cognition can give a false sense that they are normal. In a good test of cognition, a patient should be alone. We all pick up unconscious facial cues and body language from each other that can help us find answers. Surely your parents function at a higher level when they are together than when they are alone. Their strengths and weaknesses will complement each other, which will make life both better and worse for the 3 of you as you take care of them.
I wish you peace and good luck as you work through this heartbreaking situation.
I agree with others who suggest to remove their vehicle or disable it -- covertly. Search other threads on this forum for ways to do this.
Either with what is happening, or with the story of what is happening.
You are POA and POA for health care.
Medical information, if your parents have dementia, cannot be kept from you and must be shared with you. And if a Neuro-psyc MD evaluated them WITH DEMENTIA, then that diagnosis must be shared with their PCP.
It is time to call in the social workers now, because again, something is terribly wrong here. You may even need an attorney.
You tell us you are being given incorrect information. If that information is that your parents are currently COMPETENT, and that testing PROVES they are competent, then quite honestly there is a serious problem here. It is one a Forum of strangers could never negotiate. Really, the MoCa and SLUMS are indicative, and no senior can confabulate their way out of those successfully if they are incompetent. If you watch them on youtube you will see that. And if the seniors CAN ace those tests, then they may NOT be incompetent.
You say you are awaiting a call from the Neurologist. GREAT. THAT IS THE THING WE NEED HERE.
I suspect it may solve a lot, and hope to hear back after you DO hear from the neurologist. But as to right now it SEEMS to me that an MD is saying that the POA is not in effect because the parents are mentally acute enough to make their own decisions.
Wishing you the best of luck, but if this goes South then the three of you as POAs and MPOAs must see an attorney. There will need to be a court action to determine competency with third party evaluation. A court is loathe to take a citizen's rights from him/her and that is essentially what a POA does. So if there is a question, your parents will be provided representation of the court to make their case.
Doctors and medical staff are mandated reporters. Unless your Grandparents have actual official medical diagnoses of cognitive incapacity, then they are bound to believe them.
Your post is about your Grands giving false info to their doctor so you now need to use your DPoA to control who they see, when and why. You may want to consider taking them to new, different clinic or primary doctor. Get their old PCP's name out of their contacts book and phones, tell their clinic to move their medical records, tell your Grands a therapeutic fib such as their PCP retired and now they need a new one. Tell them whatever it takes to get them to cooperate.
If you give the clinic your DPoA to keep on file you shouldn't now need the HIPPA Medical Representative form assigning you. FYI do they really need to have a neurologist manage their ALZ? A primary care doc can do all the same for them and be more available.
I think your real issue is not about them giving false info to doctors -- the real issue is that they ought to be in AL or MC as their behaviors will only get worse. I'm assuming neither of them are still driving and if they are, this needs to stop immediately.
Finally, they sound very agitated and seem to be good candidates for meds for depression and anxiety. This would be an important first conversation to have with their primary or neurologist.
My grandma hasn't driven in 20 years. My grandpa's neuro (memory specialist) just completed paperwork and sent to DMV to revoke his license. However, the DMV paperwork still has not arrived notifying he cannot drive, so he continues to do so despite the doctor's order NOT to. We have notified his neuro. My grandma has continued to renew her license even though she doesn't drive. She is determined she will drive once his license is revoked, so we will have another problem to fight.
He refuses to take the meds that have been offered to him.