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He has blocked our account previously saying that someone is stealing money.

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I'm not sure if this situation would work for you. My husband and I are joint account holders. When he realized he was having memory and cognitive problems, I took over the household finances. After his diagnosis of Alzheimers in February and he realized that this was not a temporary problem related to recent surgery, we both went together to our credit union and met in person with a financial agent. We explained our circumstances and my husband asked to have me listed as the primary account holder instead of him. We had the POA listing me as POA which we provided along with a statement from him that it was his wish for me to assume financial priority on the accounts. The bank had a process whereby the forms were submitted to either a legal or advisory board for review, along with the name and contact information for the lawyer who drew up our POA, and about 3 weeks later we received official acknowledgement of the POA and that they considered me the primary account holder of our joint account with full authority to make any and all financial decisions with regards to our accounts. He still receives emails notifying him of actiity on the account which makes him feel more secure because he sees that the bills are being paid. This was only possible because he was willing to recognize his failing abilities and was more afraid of making mistakes than of maintaining control. Perhaps there is something here of use to you?
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I'm assuming this is a joint account. Are you his POA for financial matters? Would you want to activate the POA at this time? Would your husband's doctor agree that it is time to activate the POA? Does your husband defer to you on financial matters? Have a talk first with your husband and offer to take over the finances. Put a limit on his credit card and debit card. If you can, go paperless so that he doesn't see the statements. Set up the accounts online and if necessary, change the passwords so that he cannot get in. Your course of action will depend on how willing your husband is to let you manage the finances.
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classyact: Do not have a joint account.
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To obtain full control over yours, his, and your shared accounts with your husband, you need to:
1. obtain a diagnosis of his dementia or alzhiemers stating he is NOT decisional (this can come from his physician and a neurologist). 2. From there, speak to a seasoned elder attorney with whom you provide that information to. Request the attorney apply you for guardianship over your husband. Doing so will keep yours and his finances safer. Keeping your finances in order is necessary, especially as you both age, have medical issues, experience emergencies, need to apply for different types of medical coverage and/or changes (Medicare changes, supplemental additions or changes, Medicaid, long-term care, etc.) and live your daily lives.
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When all else fails in suggestions you will have to seek guardianship for a few thousand.
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If he is able to control, or have an adverse affect on your joint accounts, then you should get POA, and a medical diagnosis confirming his dementia, and a statement that he is mentally incompetent to manage financial affairs.

Take that to the bank, find creative ways to limit his access. You may have to move money to a separate account that only you control.

He will be very upset when he doesn't have control over his account, or the money is not there.

This is so unfortunate, when someone feels as though others are stealing from them, as they try to grasp on to the last bit of control they feel they have on their life.
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For starters, you should have your own bank account that is not a joint one. Then go in person and talk to the bank. Tell them your husband has dementia and ask how to go about removing him from joint bank accounts. They will advise you on what needs to be done to do this.
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Make every account joint tenant JTWROS. My father did this many years before he died and I was an only adult child. He coached me for years on how to manage things. His thoughts and preferences. Then suddenly, he had a stroke at age 92 and I was thrust into the driver’s seat. It’s a lot. My mother is alive and well at 91 but not capable of managing finances. My father knew this and groomed me my whole adult life to take over for him. You control spending their money on their care and their expenses. It’s a lot of responsibility. My dad was a great dad. I’m doing the best I can, for him. My mother at 91 is mostly entitled and oblivious to the sobering responsibility and is superficially charming and pleasant. It doesn’t make it easier but it could be worse.
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CaringBee Jul 10, 2025
Hello. What is JTWROS? Thank you.
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Your first step will be to set up your own account to receive your own funds, whether SS or retirement funds, or whatever.
Next step is off to an Elder Law Attorney to discuss all options for your case. Come armed with ALL OF THE FACTS in your individual case history.
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You should be able to unblock it through your bank's app.
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Are both your names on this account, or just his?
He was who blocked the account, so will have to be the one to "unblock" it. Usually IN PERSON.

A Bank won't listen to dementia stories, either. You need a written medical diagnosis from a DOCTOR, not just you calling up and saying you need to unlock his money. If you have that official letter, make some copies, then call and make an appointment with a Bank Manager to get the problem fixed.

If your name isn't on this account (as a SIGNER) or you DO NOT have a POA for him, this will be a problem.
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