for years, i never considered myself a caregiver to my grandmother, but it always fell on me to "pick up the pieces" - my grandmother had 3 children, 1 being my mother, but the relationship was complex. I was able to get her into assisted living at 87, and she suddenly passed unexpectedly at 89. Throughout the very long years and journey, i never looked at myself as caregiver, just has her grandson. do others battle this or how do you call yourself if you dont consider yourself a caregiver ?
Also: the VA considers me a caregiver. I'm in their caregiver program. I'm grateful for that.
I think that there are different levels of caregiving, and I don't think that only the one who provides all hands on care is the only one who can be called a caregiver.
I think that anyone who helps arrange care, who advocates for the person who needs care, who ensures that prescriptions are filled, who picks up the groceries, who makes arrangements for ADLs to be met, who does what is necessary for the health and safety of a loved one, even if they aren't the one who provides daily hands on care, or they share the above duties with others - they are a caregiver.
The main hands-on carer could be someone paid to do the job, yet outside carers come and go. The person (or people) responsible for ensuring that essential needs are met is giving care, therefore they are a caregiver, with all the attendant worries that position entails.
Some people are only temporary caregivers, but they were caregivers, nonetheless.
Being a loving friend or relation is also important, so I wouldn't worry about naming your role. You were there for your grandmother when she needed you, and that's what's important.
If Grandmother was in care, then the fact that you helped to find care, helped her move and arrange her furniture, visited and took her to lunch, helped her in writing out bills, helped her get to her appointments, in my opinion doesn't make you her caregiver.
If however she lived with you and you with her and you did the managing, bill paying, cooking, cleaning, arranging of medical care and etc you are a caregiver. A member of the family who is taking on caregiving.
Just my personal opinion.