My husband died 30 Sep 2025. We had a will but he did not sign it before he died so now in probate. Husband kept everything online & did not leave passwords and left little information for accounts he had. I have only been able to learn of some due to receiving bills. State we live in considers an unsigned will as invalid, thus have to do probate. Husband has 3 adult children in their 50's from previous marriage. We were married for 32 years and had no children of our own. According to state law his 3 adult children are his heir's so whenever I can sell the paid-for house they get half. I can stay in this mortgaged house for my life still but once I die, they will get half of proceeds. Just before he died unexpectedly we had bought another home, paid a large down payment, borrowed from my adult son from a previous marriage, but still have a mortgage on the balance. My husband's plan was to sell our paid home & pay off balance on this house. But because he did not sign the will, in which he did leave everything to me, his adult children will get half of the sale so I will not be getting enough to pay off this house mortgage where I am now living. I cannot yet sell either house since I am in probate. I am stuck as things stand now in this mortgaged house but have no access to any assets my husband might still have. He did not leave me any insurance. I have a small federal pension from my own retirement and a small amount of social security and some smaller savings of my own. However, my monthly income is not even enough to pay the mortgage on the house I am living in now with nothing left over for any living expenses. I am paying for a probate attorney from my own funds but have yet to even meet the attorney just the paralegal.We had paid a large sum for moving in Aug 2025 but I do not have enough money to move elsewhere, I now live alone and do not know anyone here. Even if I could move elsewhere I really have nowhere to go at this time & I would still have to pay for the mortgage on the house I am living in, as is considered my primary residence. My adult son has been helping me with some expenses (utlities, food, extra mortgage amount beyond my monthly income) but he cannot afford to do this for a long time. He also lives in a different state. Before my husband's burial I fell & broke my hip and damaged my knee & ankle, all on one side, so I was in the hospital for hip surgery & then released to in-home nursing care & physical therapy. I am now able to walk with a cane but unable to walk alone yet due to the bad knee & ankle. I was unable to attend my husband's burial service due to my injuries but I authorized my husband's adult daughter to hold the memorial service at a national cemetery (I am a veteran, my husband was not) in a different city as his children and siblings were upset due to a delay in me receiving a copy of my DD214 for burial but it was delayed due to a then government shut-down. I don't really know what I should be doing as I feel stuck in an uncomfortable position. I have been dealing with all kinds of issues getting utilitity & other accounts changed over to my name. My husband took care of bills and everything online, none of which I had access to. My probate attorney is asking me to be the administrator of my husband's estate so that I can sell the house that is paid for and this one too, if necessary. She has sent waivers to the 3 adult children of my husband, as heirs, some months ago but none of them have yet returned them to my attorney's office so that a probate hearing can be scheduled. I have contacted them again about sending back the waivers but have not received any information from them and have not been hearing from any of his family since my husband's burial. I also had to contact a CPA to file an extension to file federal income tax since my husband kept everything online. I do not know what I should be doing at this point in time?
Unless the paid-for house was held by you and your husband as tenants-in-common, rather than joint tenants with right of survivorship, you should be able to inherit his share and now own it fully. Your lawyer can ask the probate court for permission to proceed with the sale.
Have you sat down with your attorney and explained the financial issues this is causing you, and asked for help with moving the process along and getting these issues resolved as quickly as possible? Otherwise this can drag out forever and put you deeper into the hole financially. I'm really sorry you are stuck with this situation while grieving because of so many issues caused by other people.
It's good to learn from each other as we now taking this aging journey. And it's great to share info that help us.
It's also important to have an Elder Law Attorney, to update all our legal documents as State laws can easily change without us knowing about it.
My sincere condolences over the sudden loss of your husband.
Since his passing, have you filed with the local probate court to be appointed as his estate's Personal Representative (PR, same as executor)? You do this whether he left a Will or not.
Once approved/appointed, you receive Letters of General Administration.These are the key—think of them as your legal “master key.” Using these, get access to his email account, which will give you entree into his other online portals and activities.
If any of his sons already did this then you may need to talk to an attorney.
Then, because my husband had three adult children from a former marriage, and because without a will, one is considered intestate. In this state the first step is one has to file an application to establish heirship. That was done & then my probate attorney's paralegal sent waivers for his three heirs,adult children to sign. Once the application of heirship was approved a probate judge assigned an Ad Litum attorney (that I have to pay for) to represent the heirs and to do an investigation to make sure all heirs are known...all of this has to be done before the judge can set a probate hearing date. My attorney is filing for an Independent process, requesting that I can be the personal representative of my husband's estate. In Texas when one dies intestate as my husband is now considered to be, because he had not signed his will before his death, by state law his heirs, the three adult children automatically inherit 50% of the estate, like in the sale of a home. The home that is paid for was bought during our marriage and the deed is in both of our names. The mortgaged house is also in both of our names on the deed. I had to file, in December 2025, to pay taxes for the entire year, on both homes but because we moved into the mortgaged house one day before he was hospitalized & then died, the county stipulates that the mortgaged house is my primary residence. So the paid for house has been sitting vacant now for nearly 6 months but I am still paying utility bills for it and for it's lawn services (the house is in an HOA) and I also had to pay the HOA fees on both homes for the year. I am still obligated to pay the mortgage payment for the house I live in since I have a VA loan (I am a veteran, my husband was not). My son loaned us the money for a substantial down payment on this house and he is helping me now with the mortgage payments so I don't want to lose this house as he wants to keep it, if possible. He also paid all of the closing costs to purchase this house.
Regarding the paid-off house, do you know for sure that you need to split it with his children, or are you just assuming that? If the house was in your husband's name alone, yes, that would the case. However, if your name is also on the deed, then you may be able to inherit that whole thing, depending on how the title was held. Do you know for sure that only your husband's name is on the deed? Did he alone pay for it, or did you both contribute to the mortgage payments?
Regarding the new house, is the mortgage in both of your names, or only your husband's? Is the new home deed in both of your names, or only your husband's? If it is in both of your names, how is the title held? Depending on how the title is written, your husband's children may not be entitled to any of it.
First of all, shame on his children and also on him for not having the papers in order. I don’t know what more you can do other than what you’ve done, but at least they can’t kick you out of your home.