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Our life is good mostly, except for his temper. He is so good in so many ways otherwise. I'm 80, and due to my health, I am and have been considering a divorce. I would accept a 60/ 40 split of our meager savings. The house would not be sold, as I feel he deserves for his future to include his staying in our home as long as his 60% of the cash holds out. He would be taken good care of if not by family then by paid caregivers. I dearly love him but his temper, which I feel is genetic, gets old after so many years. Our family helps when I call them but don't do much more than that. I've read often that this happens a lot, even in loving families like ours. In my thinking about leaving I would want a small place, 2 bedrooms, but very affordable. Would so love others outlook on my situation, also if you've been faced with similar circumstances.

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This is what I would do. See an Elder Lawyer and have your assets split, his going to his care in an Assisted living or Memory care. When his money starts to run out, you apply for Medicaid. If he is excepted, you transfer him to Longterm care. You will become the Community spouse getting the house, a car and enough or all of your monthly income to live on. He will be in LTC where everything is provided for him except his clothing. And that can come from donations. You visit when you want for as long as you want. I hope you have POA because it will make things easier. Usually it allows you to sell property without their consent. Get him placed, sell the house, he gets half the proceeds and you can get your apartment. This can all be run by an Elder Lawyer.
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Your "life is good mostly," you're willing to settle for only 40% in a divorce settlement, and are even willing to let your husband with dementia keep your home so he can continue to live in it with his dementia with help.
Ok...am I the only one here that thinks this and perhaps you are a bit crazy.?
Why in the world would settle for less than what you deserve? Is it because you know you'd be leaving your husband who now has a permanently broken brain, and you're just tired of dealing with him and his "temper"?
Apparently you've posted on this forum before, so did you take any of the advice given then, and did you talk to your husbands doctor about putting him on medications for his temper and to keep him more calm? I'm guessing not.
And if you "dearly love" this man you call your husband then you should at least try and get him the help he so desperately needs, so you can live out your days in peace with him.
But if you just want out, then leave. Call your lawyer and get the ball rolling for a divorce.
I get the impression that you are just over all of this and are tired of dealing with your husband, and are wanting strangers to tell you that's it's ok to divorce your husband with dementia, instead of trying to seek answers that would help you both.
Only you can decide what choices you can live with, so I wish you well in making the right choice.
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Who is going to take care of YOU after back surgery?

A 50/50 split of assets is the fair and equitable thing to do. Idk where you live, but 2 bedroom apartments are very expensive these days.

Your husband should be medicated for his temper with dementia, as we've told you several times in your other posts. Have you looked into that??

Many folks get divorced, especially wives who feel frightened of their husbands temper. I'd try medicating him first though, to see if he calms down.

Good luck to you.
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