Follow
Share

He treats me like a servant he said the only reason he had me so I would take care of himm.otherwise I am useless. I do the laundry cook grocery shop.He sprays me when I am grilling with a hose and almost ruined the food.He nags about eventually eat. He always is screaming my name and snaps his fingers.i am not going fast enough He doesn't like me working for five hours In The morning. But he won't pay my for food gas contest.So he calls and calls.i changed my number. He makes me fight way out of the house. Tells me I am not allowed to shower in the bathroom Or the one I. The garage or the sink. Because water costs too much.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
It's time then to leave your dads home and spread your wings and fly. You don't owe your dad anything, especially your life.
So move in with a friend until you can find a full-time job and then go do you, and let your dad fend for himself.
And don't worry...he'll figure things out one way or another.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

Stop asking for your family's opinion. They are telling you to stay because they don't want to have to deal with him. Get a full time job. If possible couch surf for a few weeks until you have the funds to rent a room or your own place. Seriously, pack your bags and leave. What exactly are you staying for?
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
BurntCaregiver Jun 17, 2025
Exactly right. They don't want to have to deal with him and want the OP to stay right where they are.
(1)
Report
Your dad is abusive. No one deserves abuse, no matter what’s causing it. You’re not in prison and don’t owe him caregiving. I’m assuming you’re an adult with the ability to not return to dad’s home. He can get his needs met by someone else and you can go live in peace
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
littleeskimo Jun 17, 2025
He is 79. Some family members said I am going to regret it if he gets put in a nursing home and him being an emotional punching bag is part of the job.
(0)
Report
See 3 more replies
Walk away and let that old fool fend for himself. You do not have to remain living in servitude to a person who treats you so poorly. It doesn't matter if it's family or not. No one has to live in abuse.

You are claiming that you have to "fight" your way out of the house. What do you mean by this? If he puts his hands on you, it is your right to defend yourself by whatever means necessary. Or call the police and tell them he is preventing you from leaving the house.

If you have family or friends you can stay with until you find a permanent home, you should go there today. If you don't then you should go to a womens' shelter because you will be better off and they will assist you with community resources that can help you get into housing and to get job training skills.

In the meantime, when he snaps his fingers for you to get him something, tell him to go (four-letter word here) himself. If he comes at you and tries to put his hands on you, lay him out. Do absolutely nothing for him. No food, no assistance, no anything. Then get yourself out.

My friend, don't listen to your family when they tell you you'll feel guilt and regret if he gets put in a nursing home. You will not. The only way you will feel these things is if you make yourself feel them. You owe this person nothing and should give him nothing.

You get what you give in this life and your father has given you nothing but grief, dread, disrespect, and abuse. The sooner his a$$ gets shipped off to a nursing home the better.

Good luck to you. I hope you get out of this situation fast.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Leave. Now.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

You are under no obligation to take abuse from ANYONE.
I am a bit confused by your post though. At one point it sounds like you are not living with him then in another it sounds like you are.
If you are not living with him simply do not return. If he can not safely stay by himself (if he is living alone) you call APS and report him as a vulnerable senior.

If you feel like your safety is in danger you call 911 and report that you are in fear of your safety and if he can not be left alone you state that you can not leave as it is unsafe for your father to be alone.

If your dad is cognizant and can remain by himself you simply do not return to the house.
If you are living there take whatever belongings you have and either move in with a friend or find a Women's Shelter in your area. You are being physically and mentally abused.

It is your move as to what your next step will be.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
littleeskimo Jun 17, 2025
Sorry it's confusing I was stressed out and tired when I wrote it.He screams almost every night for hours about something. He gets triggered by me eating or talking . He doesn't like any one around him when he eating or watching TV. Because me walking around the house during dinner time is distracting him and he can't watch Fox News . I just walk away.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
I'm not sure where you live or how old you are. But most people do not put up with this abusive treatment from a parent when they are old enough to move out of the parental home. That's age 18 in the U.S. but can be accomplished even younger under certain circumstances, such as a relative who kindly agrees to let them move in.

So what led to your still being there? Bullying by your family? And dad? What makes you think you have to endure this? Because you don't.

Get a full-time job. Or two part-time jobs. Make a plan (real soon) to find a safe place with a friend, a friend's parents, or a relative. Then GO.

Dad is not your responsibility and never was.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Yikes. Run away. You don't give us much context, like how old he is, if he lives with you or you with him and how long you've been living together, how long you've been his caregiver, and whether he has always treated you like this or is this progressively worsening behavior that may indicate he has dementia. More info would be helpful but just want to agree that you deserve your own life where you are the #1 priority. No one can be assumed or forced into a caregiving role. Your solution is to move out or kick him out. His solution is for you to report him to APS for your county once you are no longer living with him. APS will eventually put him on track for a court-assigned legal guardian who will then move him into a facility and take care of all his expenses and make all his decisions for him. There's no reason for you to wallow in this misery: there is a solution if you see it as such.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Are u in the US or Canada.

If you want permission to live, we give it. Then call Adult Protection services and ask to have Dad evaluated for services. Here in US if no one to care for Dad and jo POA, the State will take over and if needed, place tge person.

Do for you now.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Please leave now.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter