Mother refuses to sign order. I have everyone in my family and friends backing me up. I don't want to do power of attorney over her yet. How in the state of GA do I get him out without getting hurt and file EDERLY abuse. My sister wants him charged and in prison for the 20 years he's abused our mother. I am disable and we are not safe with him here
And GranSonny knows this. They thrive in their relationship.
You’re getting played. Monitor your credit card, banking. Plan your exit. GranSonny is driving this future wreck & GMom on the passenger seat!
It still isn't your house though.
So leave them to it then. Out of all the family and friends you have backing you up, one of them can take you in if you believe you are living in an unsafe situation. You do not however get to make that decision for your mother.
Your mother is a grown adult who is still in control of her own life. She can live how she wants and with who she wants. It's not up to you to file elder abuse claims or demand she make you POA now.
There's one thing you may not be considering. Your nephew is also her grandchild. Grandmothers worship grandsons even more than their own sons. The grandsons are king.
It would also be in the best interests of your family if your sister dropped the asinine nonsense of wanting him charged and in prison for the 20 years of alleged abuse. The police and state have real crimes to prosecute. They aren't going to put any resources onto that kind of ridiculousness when your mother doesn't even talk to a police officer.
All of you are going to have to come to some kind of compromise within your family. Your mother is not going to evict your nephew or try to get him prosecuted for anything. So you and your siblings will have to work around him. You start by moving out.
Then stay in close contact with your mother. See her often. Try to persuade her when your nephew isn't around to evict him. Then have a safe place for her to go if she decides to. I have heard it many times people telling some old person to evict an abusive family member living in their house. No one ever mentions where that elder goes after the sheriff serves the eviction notice.
They're going to remain in the home with the now evicted abuser? No.
Trash takes itself out. At some point your abusive druggie nephew will have a run-in with the cops then it's game over jail time. You're lucky to be in the state of Georgia because they're not as lenient on drug-related crime as most blue states are.
I went through that here in RI & the only way to do it was for mom to resign as trustee or file for guardianship.
Have you asked your mother why she won't kick him out? Just curious what she has said.
Since your mother has no mental defects she can live with whomever she wants. It's unfortunate, but to destroy your own life to try and help or save someone who doesn't want help or to be saved is a fools errand.
Until your mother is willing to press charges against nephew or kick him out nothing is going to change. If your lucky nephew will get a bad batch of drugs and overdose and poof the problem will be solved. Unless your mother mives another abusive druggie into her house which is highly probable.
Your nephew won't change.
Only you can change.
Call 911 and have mom taken to the hospital. Report the situation to the social workers there.
If mom desires to go back to the abuse, the YOU need to leave.
What? The OP has no right to call 911 and have her mother taken to the hospital. The mother has done nothing wrong. She is not hurt, or threatening to do herself and others harm. She does not have dementia or mental illness either.
Think about what the backlash would be for the OP if she did that.
If I was her mother and such was done to me, the house locks would be changed immediately, and the OP would find me toasting marshmallows in the backyard over a bonfire made up of her clothes and possessions. She would be disowned and disinherited too.
You don't make a move like that on a competent adults because you don't like their lifestyles or the people they choose to share their homes with.
Just so you are clear, both your and the grandson are currently living with you mother with her permission. Neither of you has any right to kick out the other if your Mom, Nephew's grandmon, say you can both stay.
If you cannot live with the grandson, and your mother is competent, it is time you leave, and you are well out of it in my own humble opinion.
worse. To answer the lady above I am 53 and my mother is 74. To answer everyone that said I need to move out there's no way I'm leaving her here alone. I have a daily journal with everything my druggy nephew has done since June this year. I have more than enough video & audio recordings of him abusing both of us. I don't have a vehicle and he has completely destroyed hers I had to get a friend to tow it home last week. My mother is not in her right mind what so ever she withdrew $1050 of her ssa check Nov 3rd and sent the money to a scammer online pretending to be her bf. I just found out cause I don't handle her check. Like I said I have enough of my own to handle with my disabilities I'm trying to handle. I cook for my mother daily and clean up after him 39 yrs old won't help Me instead he stays high messes up everything I clean up and he's destroyed my things . He has grapped my throat I don't call the police because they won't do anything except act like they are listening and when they leave we are here with him throwing things and screaming. He has made my mother get a loan under duress for $500a month & he spent on drugs. She won't get out if the bed and deal with this. The house needs work plumbing thru out is not working. I want the authorities to come get him. To the person that said have the cops get him with drugs I would've already done that but he don't have big money for dope so it's gone as fast as he gets it. Yes this has been going on since my dad passed away now 21yrs. No one has been able to stop him . I am here trying to get my own things done and her whole check is gone in 4 days so for 3 weeks out of the month it's on me to buy her cigs & everything cause he took her money. This is stressful I can't find a number to report abuse. I have tried all the ones online . I have a couple of friends that are willing to report him. I don't understand why ppl are afraid to call and report ederly abuse. Only reason I don't cause when they come and don't take him out of Here then it's going to make my life even worse. I shouldn't have to stay locked I'm my room and my mother shouldn't be so depressed, not showred in months , I can't get her to do anything but watch TV if she's awake .
Why are you living with Mom? To care for her or for financial reasons? You cannot go into someones house and tell them what to do. You do not have the ability to evict ur nephew. If he hits you, you then call the cops and have him removed. If he has drugs on the premises you can show the police and they can bring drug charges against him. Then he may not be able to return to the home.
I think what u need to do is consult with a lawyer. If u can't afford one, there is Legal aid. Find out what your rights are. Can you call in the police to search nephews room for drugs. If drugs are found and charges made, can you keep him from returning?
"I am caring for my mother...who is 53 years old" Is she really that young? Or is that your age? How old is your Mom?
What kind of drugs is your nephew on? What actual evidence do you have?
When he is making you/your Mom feel unsafe, or using illegal drugs, are you calling 911 every time? What do you mean by "unsafe"?
There is a legal process for everything you want, but you have to have evidence (ie you won't be able to go back in time to prosecute him for the past 20 years of what you consider elder abuse, especially if your Mom has never filed a complaint about it and currently doesn't want to file a complaint). You can't do this for her unless you are her legal guardian.
If your Mom is cognitively competent then she controls what goes on in her house. Unless she, as the homeowner, signs an eviction form to get the process going, he gets to stay there.
If your Mom isn't cognitively competent, but has no one legally acting in her best interests (PoA, legal guardian), then the situation will be very difficult to change. You will most likely need to move out and report her to APS as a vulnerable adult.
Unless you can prove he's doing something illegal and threatening to you/your Mom and the cops are called, then he gets to stay there.
You might want to consult with an elder law attorney for you state to see what, if any, your options are.
Please consider that if you don't convince your Mom to assign you as her PoA, then your nephew just might. This is a pretty common worst-case scenario that is posted often on this forum from frantic family members trying to protect their elders when it's too late.
If nephew is to remain there I would myself move out at once.
I would move away from this situation if your Mother has decided to keep her grandson close. If you feel unsafe in a situation move away from it. If your mother chooses otherwise then that is her own problem.