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Don't no where to post this sorry but I have a friend we get each other Christmas gifts every year but this year I don't know. She has not been a good friend or been supportive. I have to call her. I've known her for 30 plus years when mom was in the hospital rehab I could of really needed some one to hang out with, she's not like that. She doesn't want to hear what's going on any more, it's like my life I hate it. Even my mom had said she's not a real fried never came and seen me once this year she lives a few blocks away from me. Should I give her a present like every year. I'm torn. I think she will be fine with it don't know whether to keep her as a friend again she never did anything for me, or check on me so...

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Is it possible that she just does not know what to do or what to say?
If this is someone you truly like I would give her another chance.
Get in touch for the holiday. If you wish to exchange gifts make it a small one, note cards or better yet bake some pumpkin bread, or brownies and give that to her.
Now that hard part. Tell her how you feel. If she says she just did not know what to do tell her that it would be nice if she dropped by once in a while with for coffee or tea and just a chat.
If she has no interest in meeting then chalk this up as a "fair weather friend" and leave it at that. Don't waste any more time, energy or emotion on that.
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There are different sorts of friends. Sometimes you can meet again someone you haven’t seen for years, and pick up exactly where you left off. Sometimes you can enjoy meeting an ‘old school friend’, even though your lives have gone in different directions and you only have memories in common now. Then there are people who are close, live close, you phone all the time, you know what is going on in their lives, you do jobs for them, help them out, and it’s reciprocated. Some of us only seem to last this last group as ‘friends’. It does seem a pity to write off all the others.
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I give people too many chances sometimes but I try to factor in that they might be busy or going through something but having said that if this becomes an ongoing pattern maybe rethink the friendship.

Get her a nice card and maybe put a note in it saying "Are we still good, I sense you are preoccupied" then see what response you get.
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I agree with Canoe's answer except for the card!! I learned the hard way about fair weather friends. Just not worth your worry. You deserve caring, I'm here for you in foul weather, too friends.
HUGS!!
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I think of friends as being those people we have a bond with, that are emotionally supportive of us. The person you describe definitely doesn’t qualify. I would put them under the acquaintance category...that gets them a Christmas card only.
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I'd say 'I have a little gift for you, but you have to come to collect it.' See what happens!
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if a ' friend ' backpaddles ' in your time of need youd be a sap to be there when they inevitably face life problems themselves .

i had one friend who wouldnt give my mom and aunt edna one bit of companionship , and another who would but only if the money kept flying .
i forever ditched both their asses . no regrets .
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Lolaloud is a username and from a cartoon on Nickoleon called the loud house it's about a family will like 11 sisters one brother
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Sendhelp Nov 2019
Cute, very cute!
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With having to spend the day inside with Mom on Christmas Day,
you may need even a fake friend. Call her up and ask if she wants to exchange gifts again this year, at lunch nearby in a cafe.

Be sure you are not adopting your Mother's mindset regarding your friends, be they real but just busy, or fake.

I am interested in the things you did last year to celebrate Christmas.
Were you voluntarily "inside" all day?

Do you like your Dad, and just cannot tolerate his "side" =friend comes with him?

And are you really Loud, Lola? Does someone call you that?

I know someone who almost dumped a friend she had since childhood during the holidays. Friendships are stretched at those times.
It is also a time when, after not hearing from so many all year long, you get surprised by a card, or an e-mail, or even a visit!

Be outside decorating your house with many lights, and maybe someone in the neighborhood will stop to talk to you. Again, how have you celebrated in the past?
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