Follow
Share

Our parents died leaving my sister and me to take care of our brother. We are getting older. Life is short. Our oldest brother died. I'm trying to figure out the next steps. We have been doing this for over four years. We are not wealthy. He is on Medicare and Medicaid.

Going thru this now after my mom’s recent death with own my 71 year old brother, who has been declared incompetent. Both of my parents were supporting him prior to their deaths. In my state, the Dept. of Aging can begin steps to get a public guardian appointed - had to explain that neither I nor my two sisters, all in our 70’s are not in the position to take on his guardianship and a pro bono attorney has now been appointed to represent him and the guardianship petition was just filed with the court. We were just served with the Court papers as we are considered Interested Persons, but since we are not opposing the petition for guardianship we were not required to file a statement with the court and the hearing is now set to begin soon. He never gave anyone a POA so although this process does takes a few months to get to this point, the state will be appointing a guardian for him soon who will take over his financial affairs - he only receives social security - and he will also begin receiving medicaid which will be applied for on his behalf once the public guardian is appointed after the guardianship hearing. We were also told he will be placed in as nonrestrictive living situation as possible. In the meantime, he is living in the mental health facility that diagnosed him as incompetent after his evaluation. We’re hoping they will end up placing him in a senior living situation where his physical and mental health needs will be finally addressed. He always stubbornly refused the care we offered over the years and only accepted the financial support from my parents so he has gone many years without medical care. You may want to call your brother’s local dept of aging and find out if they can start the same process for your brother. Initially, after he was deemed to be incompetent, there was some “encouragement” directed toward me and my two sisters, who are all elderly as well, to move him into our homes and assume his guardianship. That’s because the state would prefer that a family member move him in and assume the role of guardian. But if you explain why this would not be possible due to your own health issues, being elderly too, etc., they will be understanding and start the process of getting a pro bono attorney appointed to represent him as well as a public guardian appointed.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to blueiris
Report

I have a disabled nephew. He can live on his own but he has a coordinator and an aide 1x a week that help him. I rarely need to do anything for him. He was able to assign me POA. His disability is more physical then mental.

Call your County Disabilities Dept. I was able to get my nephew in a State program. I would not go for guardianship. Very hard to revoke once you have it. I may allow the State to take over his care requesting he remain near family. He does have my daughter as a back up POA if something happens to me. But if he starts showing Dementia signs, which can happen with his neurological problem, I will probably allow the State to take over his care. I am 76 now. I have already told my daughters I don't expect them to care for him.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Yes, as pointed out below, contact The Arc in your state.

https://thearc.org/find-a-chapter/

Did your brother have a social worker or other agency staff member who helped him with his Medicare and Medicaid, and any other services? You can check back with that person or people. The info might be in paperwork that your parents had. Did they leave any financial provisions for him?

The systems vary by state but there should be some assistance in place that he can access. Did your parents have your brother at home with them? I've known a couple of people, one in particular, who really thrived once they moved into group homes, with professional staff to help them live independent lives, and peers as friends, along with social and household activities.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MG8522
Report

If he does not have a POA or guardian then he will need to have one. It would be helpful to know this information as this will determine what solutions are available.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

A good question is do you have guardianship or POA for your brother? If not, you may well be best to see about making him a ward of the state. That way he can be placed by the state.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to SamTheManager
Report

In our state we have ARC agencies as well as others that provide group homes for those with intellectual disability. They have caregivers and help as needed. Each resident has either their own bedroom or shares with one roommate. They have regular outings in the community. Contact your local aging services, UCP (some places called United Ability) or any united way agency to connect you to possibilities. I wish you well in finding the best setting
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter