Is it normal she's so negative?

Wow, sorry you are dealing with this. Just when the storm seems calm, the tornado appears. You are right, you will need to make some decisions to help her and help you. She does not see what is going on for she is in the situation. She doesn't think anything is wrong with her, she is the victim in all this. She is becoming dehydrated as CountryMouse stated and be careful how you rehydrate her. It can backfire as I have found out.

I called my mom to let her know my 16 year old passed his driving permit test today and can no officially drive a car--with a 21 year old with a license of course. I thought she would be excited for him. Nah, she just said, he did? "I guess you will be teaching him driving" um yes, mom, don't get excited. I know what is going through her head, she is wanting to say, "at least he can drive and get out"...uugh! She just didn't say it, but I could hear it in her head. That will come. I read something today that someone wrote on a feed that my daughter knows and this guy was talking about his dad, and how his dad died at 41 because all he did was feel sorry for himself and was miserable and said he would die at 40. This guy lived his life to just die. That is what is slowly happening to our mom and some dads. My mom has said many times she won't see 70. Who knows, but sometimes I hope she is right. I know, shame on me. I feel so bad for feeling that way. I am also trying to live my life now the way I want, but it is so hard sometimes when she is on my shoulder whispering guilt in my ear. I, too, sit and wonder what it would be like without the dread and despair of her in my life.

Kazzaa - the universe is telling you to let your mother be put into care. By hook, crook, or large men with a section order and restraints. My mother's time in a psychiatric hospital was a miracle. They put her on new meds that have gentled her down to be more of a puppy than a rabid rottweiler. Mom did not go willingly or quietly. She bit and struggled, fought, and scratched like it was the end of her life. It was loud, ugly, messy, and shocking. She had to be restrained and sedated. But it had to happen. Try not to be there when it happens, or not in the house at least. Go outside, or down the street. Not sending my mom in would have been a terrible idea.

Calm is much better for her overall state. So what if it's more meds. I say bring them! Mom is also in a rehab location for now, which is a transitional time between hospital and whatever your next placement needs to be.

Step down and let the professionals step in. Once the professional psychs get her in a hospital environment, her real self will come out in neon. I also had this terrible anxiety that they would send my mom back and we'd be no better off than before. Mom was not able to put her act on long enough to get away with anything. Her alternate reality came through, plus her paranoia, her anger, her distorted reasoning, her inability to perform tasks of daily living. She was around people who had seen it all before and knew how to deal with dementia patients used to fooling everyone.

Use this time to repair your own life, heal, and get back into your groove. You can also use this time to make changes at your mom's house while she isn't there. If there is something like rehab your mom could do for a while, it buys you even more time to get it together.

One thing must now be true - you absolutely must not return to the way it was before. Social services MUST come up with a plan for her care that does not involve you. Make it very clear you are not able or willing to do it. Say it put you into mental crisis. Get your own doctor to write a note. Whatever it takes.

We're here rooting for you all the way.

Just to add this is the "act" in Ireland so maybe slightly different in Us althoug i think its pretty much the same in most countries? so yes i just pray mum will go willingly it would be torture to see her forced i am sick to my stomach at the thoughts of it and am finding it hard to look at her. I just keep telling myself its for the best family are in a panic and are all "calling tonight" so hello wake up time the coffee is starting to stink!!

FYIBeing sectioned under the Mental Health Act

Here, people talk about their experiences of being admitted to hospital, in some cases using powers provided by the Mental Health Act 1983, or “being sectioned”. To be sectioned, three people (an Approved Mental Health Professional (AMHP) or nearest relative and two doctors) must agree that the person is suffering from a mental disorder and needs to be detained for assessment or treatment, either for their own safety or the safety of others. Under section 2 of the Act, someone can be detained for up to 28 days for assessment; under section 3 a person can be detained for up to 6 months for treatment; section 4 is used in emergency situations for assessment over a period of 72 hours. Most hospital patients, however, have agreed to go into hospital and have not been sectioned under the Mental Health Act; they are known as informal or voluntary patients.



Read more: http://healthtalkonline.org/peoples-experiences/mental-health/mental-health-ethnic-minority-experiences/being-sectioned-under-mental-health-act#ixzz3CGvWmiMy
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Well hopefully it wont come to that but a psychiatric nurse will have to see through this act she keeps putting on for the district nurse? She is peeing in her room on floor and wont let me OR the carers in and gets so mad carer even was shocked and dosnt know how to handle it? I told nurse the last thing i want is her on more drugs but she said sometimes they just have to go down this road when her moods wont stabilise? i just hope she wont be out of it id prefer her anger to been away with the fairies? nurse said it wouldnt be like that maybe just something mild to keep her calm? I still have to get hold of the shrink so i have still a long wait but at least im getting somewhere. My mum was sectioned before had electric shock treatment in those days husbands could sign for this?? we were only kids so i dont remember any of it just having a mean old nanny to look after us! Mum hasnt been right for a long time and we are beginning to see now that dementia is just the end result of years of anger and behaviour problems had we have been aware maybe we could have got her help earlier but we were only kids what did we know? I am not to happy it may come to this but if it has to be done then its for her own good also hopefully mum can try and talk to someone about whats shes feeling as she was always hard to talk to dosnt believe in showing emotions her dad was a tough cop maybe that was the way in those days. I just have to wait and see and my sister is here next week so if anything happens i hope shes here with me i am not having mum sectioned without backup it is going to hurt us like h*ll and i am not doing this alone! nurse said its time to talk long term care with family as she said youve no idea how much she could decline if she continues like this.
So sad to think if only shed let me take her meds and accept outside help i could care for her BUT now as the nurse said you have to think of whats right for her.
God help me i know it will be hell getting to go into a hospital AND theres only one here for 60miles everyone knows its the "mental hospital" and mum will not go willingly so yes may have to be sectioned.

Being sectioned? I had to google that because I'd never heard of that before. It sounds like both a blessing and a curse.

Yes looloo they can burn the stove BUT as long as they are walking and can get in and out of bed theyre ok so get yourself a REAL JOB!!!!!! I can just see my first interview "so where do you see yourself in five years time?" LOL

Just spoke to a nurse she said its time for the shrink to get involved as her behaviour is psychiatric (no sh*t sherlock!) she said to contact shrink tell her everything and mum needs a psychiatric nurse to call every week OR she needs to be sectioned for a wk or two in a psychiatric hospital until they find the right meds? im shaking as its really happening i have palpatations the thoughts of her being sectioned is too much to take in but they are very concerned and told me to stay out of her way for awhile. OK brother will stay when im out i want him to see her aggression although i feel sorry for him as hes an introvert and may not be able to handle it? god help us this is going to be hell now BUT at least she will get the help she needs. Nurse was lovely her dad had lewy dementia/parkinsons and said " i hear ya" and you cant live like this! she said they will find the right drug and your mum will be in better moods? god i hope so going to light a candle for her now as i feel so sorry for her she will go kicking and screaming but things cannot go on like this the nurse said its not just her diabetes thats causing this aggression so finally the professionals can do something here.
Feel a bit less stressed but sectioned is a shock?

By the way, I love how, if a person is 'mobile' that means that they're somehow in better health. With dementia, it just means that they'll get into more trouble.

Wow, Kaz, what a crap situation. I'm sorry. I think your brother is right, that it's time for you to get your own circumstances in order. Where you live, is there an agency who can take over guardianship and care of your mother? It sounds like you've tried everything, and have spent 5 years of your life doing what you could, and it's not working, it's getting worse. Now, you need to get yourself back on your feet.

Well mums pushing her luck now! shes only gone and fired the cleaning lady? left a note stuck to the door this morning telling her she couldnt afford her? cleaning lady is a single mom with very little money and rang me in tears? i had to go and meet her for coffee and calm her down. I am NOW desperetly trying to get through to mums doc and district nurse? mum needs a pro to come in now and talk to her as im just about done here. Wont let carers in? wont let carers clean her room and make her bed? wont get her bloods done?wont walk? wont eat what shes supposed to? wont be reasonable about outside help? its only a matter of time before i walk out this door! I tried to talk to her in a calm way telling her "you have diabetes youre not well and your memory is getting a bit bad so you need to have other people here to help you i cannot be here all day and night what if something happens when im not here". Her response "fck off and stop interfering with my life i dont need anyone and its MY house and i say who comes in?" also i am a bitch a bully i am never here i need her more than she needs me she dosnt need a cleaning lady as she has to clean up herself???????? theres never any food there? even when im here on that "bloody machine".
I cant care for her and be abused like this she is getting worse i need that cleaning lady to come in as ONE shes honest which is hard to find last cleaning lady stole mums jewellery,money etc? she is a good cleaner?
I am just sitting here waiting for doc to return my call and district nurse is on holiday for 2wks?
I am staying with a friend and have the left the house like a pigstye if mum thinks she dosnt need help then lets just see who is going to clean up?
My doc says alot of this is abuse and not all down to dementia she thinks mum should now be seen by a shrink? shrink thinks mums fine?
I am just about to explode here and wish i could just walk out now pack my bags and go. Rang supportive brother last night and he said yes leave when you can then mum will have to face up to the fact that she cannot live alone?
I feel nothing but anger towards her now as her abuse is just getting too much for me to handle and i handle it the only way i know how? walk out and stay with a friend. I come in wash cook her dinner and put it in the microwave so she cant say anything them text my brother and leave my brothers wife is on his case as she dosnt like to be alone?????????
I dont know how im still here breathing smoked enough fags to kill off an ape i just cant continue like this?
Mum will not get POA and i know her shrink will say well get out for your own sake?
Its my birthday next week 49 so ill be here five years the social welfare sent me a letter asking me what am i doing to find work??? if i dont respond they will cut my welfare? looking after mum is not work? i have applied for carers alowance but was turned down as mum is "MOBILE" diabetic with dementia but as long as she can walk i get nothing SO SWelfare see me as an unemployed BUM and now i have to prove im looking for work?
Yep today is a good day! maybe tomorrow ill win the lotto and laugh about all this stress!
Mum got my dads pension backdated which is 100$ extra for her a week AND she fired the cleaning lady as she cant afford 30$ to pay her?
I have no food and no money as mum will not give me money to buy food i spent my money yesterday on gas and electricity so have nothing left?
I am so lucky to have 2 very good friends she will loan me money until next week but sometimes id rather die from starvation than ask?
Caregiving sucks!

Jeweltone, don't dwell on what your mother's reflections might be. For one thing, the objective truth (as far as anyone can see it) is a fairer assessment. For another, you can't possibly know. I suspect that what goes on in our mothers' heads is a lot more complicated and diverse than we will ever know. Don't forget their lives spread a good deal further afield than their relationships with us. E.g - why shouldn't your Dad get his fair share of the flak?!

Woohoo, go Louloo! Someone has to stop that dance of delusion, abuse, and fear.
Doing something different is very, very hard and unpleasant. I am also facing my old issues with Mom, all of the above. I try different things. Some days I am so disgusted and angry I wish she were dead already and I also don't care if I ever see her again. Other days, when she is not so mean, I feel my love for her and hope she can enjoy whatever days she has left, but heck, I am still having to always fight for the right to own my own life. Many times I try to imagine her gone and what it will be like to be free of this person. Then I vow to make the day mine, no matter what. I am not going to wait for her passing so that I can live my life. I am there if needed, doing my best to enjoy every day, and licking my wounds when needed. It's difficult to feel so damaged every single day by someone. UGH. But finding part of your day: that YOU claim and do for yourself is very important in us detaching enough to be more mentally healthy ourselves.

P.S. I just checked to see if the shoes I ordered for my mother had been delivered yet. Yep -- delivered 3 days ago, on Saturday. So glad to have the internet, since a 'thank you' or any kind of acknowledgement from her will never happen.

Yeah, it is really sad, Jewel -- that their view of things is their reality, and they will die with that attitude.
Someone on my FB posted that their mother passed away, and so many lovely comments were offered about this woman. With MY mother, maybe a few people will offer condolences for my 'loss', but I don't expect to hear any stories about how wonderful, kind, generous, funny, or lovely she was.

Looloo: Great Job! I wish my mom didn't live so close, I would also find a way to have no contact. Knowing she is taken care of should even be more reason to have the courage, but it is still that guilt. I am so over the "closure" thing too, I do know I have done everything I am supposed to do. There will be no guilt for that once she is gone. I definitley have done my daughter duties.

The sad part is she will die one day thinking I didn't do enough. If they think it, to them it is real.

The more I deal with this, and the more I read about others' situations, the more I realize that the ONLY solution is to reduce contact. It's the only thing that's saving my sanity as well as allowing me to actually be effective in her care. I haven't spoken to my mother in over a month now (since I took her car away), and am doing my best to maintain no contact as long as I can. It is taking a lot of planning, scheduling, and downright scheming to do this, but it's worth it. Fyi, she hasn't contacted me at all either, which is perfectly in character for her. She has never contacted me unless she thinks I can provide something she wants. So, it's not just me taking this confident stand -- it's me being downright afraid to deal with her, and truly hoping I never have to again. Last week, there was plenty of other stuff I had to jump in and handle, and it took hours and hours on the phone and online, plus driving here and there, plus phone calls and emails to/from her neighbor and care person. Plus, my husband inadvertently gave me a panic attack when he insisted that I needed to go down there for something (I firmly believe that I do NOT need to, and am willing to accept the consequences if I'm wrong--I'll cross that bridge when I come to it).
I don't need any final conversation or any kind of 'closure'. I didn't necessarily plan or expect the removal of her car to result in no contact, but I'm not suprised one bit. I'm perfectly ok, and rather grateful for it.
I hope to get that book I ordered on outgrowing co-dependency this week. It's time, I think, to do a little more 'internal work' as the pros say, hee hee. I feel like the adult in me has been stunted way too long by the relationship with my mother. Understanding that she's narcissistic has been a huge eye-opener, but now I need take some steps to stop acting--and reacting--like the codependent I was raised to be, but am NOT anymore.

CountryMouse you just gave me chills. I hydrated my mother. I feel I brought her back to life from last summer she was in hospice and given a short time to live. I did everything possible to keep her happy and did everything the doctors told me to do. Do not take this wrong, but sometimes I wish I had just agreed to let her go. You are so right, I couldn't do it to her, therefore I would be doing wrong in my eyes. I do think sometimes I will do it her way and let her go to a little house like she calls it, and she will go back down hill and she would become "dehydrated" again. This is a perfect analogy of the situation I have came from, she from being dehydrated (almost dying) to rehydrated using all her energy to make my life miserable and living in her own misery. You are also so right, she DOES LOVE being miserable. It is so obvious. When I try to be positive and let her know everything is ok, even all the things I have done to "fix it", I believe she gets more mad at the situation. She really doesn't want it fixed because she likes feeling like the victim. As long as she is the victim it is someone elses fault. I get it!!! Thank you for sharing. How well you read exactly what I was thinking.
....and yes, we are the normal ones!!!

Jewel, your post, your mother's endless tirade, brought powerfully to my mind a snippet from an old book called 'The House of God' - a scene where the experienced intern is telling the baby new doctors about a dementia patient and says "she'll be dehydrated. Do not rehydrate her. If you hydrate her, she stays demented but she becomes incredibly abusive…"

The trouble is, that now you've done the right thing and got your mother into a safe place where she is taken great care of, she has all the health and energy she could need for complaining. And while it might be tempting to look at her thoughtfully from time to time and think to yourself "maybe we should try it your way..." you know you couldn't do it to her. She wouldn't be happier, even, let alone better off: she'd just be too weak and ill and endangered to give voice to what ails her. Look on this as her chief pastime. The crabbier and more unreasonable she is, the better the day she's having. Oh joy.

Speaking your mind here is safe, and does her no harm, and does us all good because oh my goodness it so helps to know that our cared-for one is not the only ungrateful, discontented, unreasonable, passive-aggressive, plain aggressive, draggy, slanderous, emotionally blackmailing deadweight in the world. HURRAH! We're NORMAL!!!

Have a great day. And DON'T call her unless you feel like it! Hugs x

Good Morning, I know it is odd I am on so early, but on my way to work the things my mom said to me on Sunday are ringing in my ear. The only way to get them out of my head is to write them down. Her words take up way too much space and I am trying to weed them out. As you know she told me it is our (the children's) fault that our parents are in the shape they are--her meaning that I put her in this place and she didn't have a choice. I know better so that doesn't erk me as bad. She proceeded to tell me she has already given me everything and I didn't appreciate it and that everything she owned was at my house.--First and foremost, all of her belongings are stuffed in two storage buildings and she only gave me some china and a small table. Actually she was going to sell these. My dad gave her the china that he bought her in Germany when I was a small child (so you know she was getting rid of it) and the table she was selling too. She also told me I only come once a week for two hours and she never talks to me during the week, horse pucky. I call her at least once during the week and then on Saturday and Sunday before I go. Count it, three (3) times. Sometimes, if she is lucky, I call one other time. She really makes me not want to call her at all or go see her at all. It is NEVER enoughl. Why do I feel guilty for this? I know in my heart and soul I am doing what I think is best for my mom. When she stayed at home she wouldn't eat or barely get out of bed. Now she is eating--which is making memory better, she is participating in activities at the AL and getting out of bed during the week. She may think this is the worse thing that could happen to her, but it truly could be worse. I do understand her mental status doesn't allow her to see things any different, but good golly, I don't know how much more I can take. It is wearing me down and taking time away from what other responsiblities I have. They have tried so many different anitdepresents and they do NOT work. The hospice doctor last summer told me that he didn't know that anything would work being her brain cannot manage the medicine like a "normal" brain could. She is still on pallative care, but the doctor is a different one than the hospice doctor and she doesn't have the understanding the hospice doctor had. Grant it, he is well into his late 70's early 80 no kidding. He is so knowledgeable and compassionate. The pallative care doctor has started back over with --have you tried this, have you tried that...YES, people.

I know it sounds I am aggrevated this morning, but actually I am not. I am just writing to free some space and take away the things she keeps saying to me over and over. I really want to take her checkbook and everything else I take care of to her and say "I am DONE". Just realizing I have a good 20 years or more ahead of me with her, makes me sad. Surely before then I will be able to find a way to do less and less. She has enough to keep her in the AL another 15 years, then I don't know what I will do from there. Nursing home is the only option after that. She will then be 83 years old. It is sad also to see everything they have worked for and saved go down the drain. I try really hard not to think of it, because that money is NOT enough no way, no how, for me to keep her at my house. That could pay my monthly bills and she would have money left over. She would have enough to last her for 30 years. Let me tell you, if it were about the money--as she thinks it is, I wouldn't be on here, I would be living it up on vacation, buying a new car and remodling my house. There now, how would she like that? HA! No, I wouldn't either--I would be doing what I am doing now, I would be asking how high she needed me to jump. Actually, if I were that type of person, I could do it anyway because I have full access. It hurts knowing they think we cheat them. My sanity and my family's peace means much more to me. We live like poor church mice compared to my mom and that is perfectly fine with me. Who could stand it just for the money. I do know people who do it, but I am not that type of person. I want to know my mom is taken care of in the best way.--Nice place to live, good meals, clean and it is fancy for that matter. It is like a high end hotel with concerige service. I can't give her that. Now, I feel better. :-)

Thanks again for reading!

Ayyyy. Kazaa, the only issue I could take exception to in your post is the word "almost!" If she could reason and wasn't so blindingly angry at what's happening, she might possibly realize that punishing,manipulating, and threatening is never going to get her what she might actually want, namely to be loved and cared for. It's a vicious downhill cycle, no?

And yes, I confess...physicians OFTEN forget that the easy problems have been solved already. Oh, sure, once in a while someone is not doing the obvious thing that needs to be done...will never forget the parents who patiently explained why their mentally normal teenager with spina bifida could never be left at home alone (could not get out in an emergency) and why they were fighting over clothes Mom picked out in the mornings (can't reach them) and thank God, another PARENT looked them right in the face and said, build a RAMP and get a REACHER. But these things are a lot hairier than all that - people have rights to be nasty and to refuse to cooperate, its hard to get most people evaluated for depression, let alone effectively treated, especially from that Greatest Generation - and setting limits with your own parent is damnably difficult at best, at least from an emotional standpoint.

Just saw the other post... I am with you, if my mom were passive, nice, and appreciative, I would definitely be free. I wish so much she were that way, but she is NOT. She is mean, hateful, unappreciative, entitled, blaming, etc. Things that are so hard to deal with while you are trying to do the right thing for them.

Oh gosh, I am glad you got away, but so sorry you came home to chaos. I know the feeling. YES, please get her name on a list. You need time to yourself. The chaos is still there, but not at your home everyday. I catch three kinds of you know what when I visit, but I am realizing I can put my big girl panties on and take it for one day. I do not think I could do it everyday. Like I have stated many times, I almost did it. I almost moved her in with me and I thank my lucky stars everyday it didn't work out. She reminds me of it, but that's ok.

Doctors think they have all the answers. Just do this, well, try that. NO!!! IT DOES NOT WORK! The doctor told me not to let my mom tell me no. HAHAHAha, that is funniest thing ever. It sounds so easy. If something happens to them, the doctors will be the ones pointing fingers because they told us what to do. I have learned like I did with my own children, do what we think is best for them and for us.

I feel some freedom from the daily stress of thinking it's my fault and thinking there must be something I can do to fix it. She thinks this so it must be true, right? No, it isn't true and I am starting to believe myself and all of you and not her. Hallelujah...

Be true to yourself, peeps!

Fligirl my mum is only 77 and yes she can still sweep and make tea for herself so i let her do it! i cant have her doing dishes as she dosnt clean them properly! youre so lucky your mum isnt nasty and negative if mum was just passive and gentle and let me do things for her i wouldnt even be on this site. She fights about everything so i just swtich off now and let her at it she will get worse im even expecting violence one day but hopefully it never comes to that? we just never know? ive had a few wks of calm with mum but now shes getting mean again and very abusive! last year she used to lock my cat in the bedroom when i wasnt here to hurt me so id never go out and yes she did this on purpose she knows how to push your buttons to get her way no matter who she hurts? she was like this with my dad and he left so its not just the illness its her personality was always warped a bit shes gotten worse with age and more angry!

Honestly I dont really know if she is doing this on purpose. Mom is not mean at all or vindictive, She is always nice to me. The thing is that I think that she is trying to be so normal again to other people so she offers to clean up dinner when someone is here and she never cleans up when it it just the two of us. She does however offer sometimes but not much anymore. I wonder if I just started doing to much for her and now she is just used to it. It seems like more trouble to let her try to do things because then I cannot find where she put something away. All I know is that every morning when I wake up I cannot wait until it is time to go to sleep and end the day. What a way to live.

Yes Fligirl its almost as if she does it on purpose to PUNISH you for leaving her alone for a few hours! Cakes are Black and ive spent the afternoon getting paint off a very expensive tiled floor?? while i was scrubbing away i thought.......what kind of a life is this really? On and paint is not easy to get off tiled floors brother said he would try and get something stronger? I could send a 2yr old to her bedroom for this nonsense but you cant send mum? when i asked her what she was doing painting when shes alone here LATE at night she said "well dont leave me alone then". Oh you manipulative *)(*)*CH!! Yeh shes doing it to keep me in so i wont go out again? Brother spent the last few wks cutting wood and a friend is coming in to collect it mum wants the wood kept here for a fire in winter we havnt had a fire here since she BURNT chairs in the fireplace I kid you not! Then she said ill have a fire here if i want to its my house? seeing her doc this wk and trying to see her shrink as someone needs to talk to her OR its a NH. This is going to end in disaster if she continues like this? She was always a manipulator now shes just become an expert in manipulation thinks ill be here forever no matter what she does shes in for a shock! I dont care what she does but when shes doing scary dangerous things maybe on purpose?? time to talk NHs!

Oh and agree with you on the doctors.

For some reason Kazza, I think if I tell my mom to NOT do something, she somehow remembers THAT and does it anyway. But if I say nothing she does not do it. So if I have to leave her alone for any reason, I am not going to say a thing.

Gosh jeweltone what a nightmare! yes youd gladly get into this "protection programme"!!! I can see my mum doing this to me when the time comes last night another HUGE row i was going to a friends for dinner texted brother to come she went MAD!!! and i mean MAD bulging eyes the lot! Brother came at 11pm and she told him to leave so he left? great now hes starting to see things "thankgod" anyway came home this morning to chaos kitchen upside down she was cooking cakes and painting doors paint everywhere??
I cant take much more I will be putting her name down for a home soon as the waiting could be 6mths maybe more? If she dosnt go im leaving i asked her one thing "do not touch the cooker when youre alone" thats just not going in so for her own safety now the nurse needs to back me up on this. They push you too far and the stress is too much for one person to handle. So glad finally my brother is starting to notice her "madness". Yes he needs to be exposed alot more to her BUT we still have the same problem she cant be alone she will burn the house down so my brother will have to stay whether she likes it or not he just cant handle her when she gets mad and just leaves i cant blame him as he worries she may have a heartattack when she gets this angry! I told him if she does she does she brings it on herself i will see her doctor this week but i know ill get the usual crap that he thinks shes still fairly competent????????? Docs are great arnt they? such a huge support NOT!

Hi everyone, just popping on to say hi. The witness protection program for caregivers is brilliant, lol!
I just ordered a book having to do with "outgrowing" codependency. The title sounded very much on target for me, so will let ya know how it is.
Have a peaceful and happy rest of the weekend :)