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Hi I haven't posted for a while but I'd just like to say that my grandfather is so much better now and has been for about the past month and a half. He only complains about things that are genuinely troubling him ( such as bunions on his feet) and has made the effort to get out and about. I am still visiting regularly but the visits are a pleasure now. I do worry that as he's becoming more positive he's getting a bit frailer though - it's like his complaining gave him a feistiness and zest for life. My parents have recently had some operations too.
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I had the same problem with my wife. The doctor prescribed an inexpensive generic anti-depressant, excitalopram, and within a couple of days she became pleasant, upbeat, and cooperative. It's been four months now, and her new mood is still holding. I haven't even told her she's taking it; she wouldn't remember anyway.
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Ps: I am finding the more able I am to release and detach from anger and resentment the better my relationship is with Mom. She is improving but I know I can't totally trust her. That's fine. I know can be in control of how much I am going to give to this person. Yay! best wishes with all my sister heart.
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Hi Njny. We're the same age and same issues. Can you meditate, take a Tai Chi or Yoga class, get counseling even once a week. I just discovered a new and wonderful senior center where I can take such classes. Find resources to help you change. No one else can come into your head and operate your brain. I know my mother tries hard to control me, but I am now refusing for her to INFLUENCE my mind and behaviors. When it happens and I find myself obsessing over her, I pray, "Lord, help me be free. Help me control my own mind and life." Then make an affirmation like, "I am in control of my own mind and life. I am free, I am peace."
YES, You can do it!!! No excuses. Self pity for a few minutes or an hour might be ok for venting. Come here to vent. We'll all cheer ya on. Then cut it off and be determined to control your emotions, dear yogi. God made you a free person.
I don't know why we have this darned karma but we still can rise above it.
Prayers for your recovery of your higher Self.
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Hi Jeweltone--I am aso here on a Saturday, but my mom calls me. Everyday, probably 7-10 times. I go back and forth to her home during the day, especially in the summer when I am not working. I would love to have some peace of mind--I struggle with not making her mood my I mood, and I have continual anxiety. I am working on it though. I know I am filled with self-pity, but it is what it is. I have been reading a good book,"will I ever be good enough," by Karyl McBride. It is aobut healing the daughters of narcisstic mothers. It has been helpful and enlightening, but every day is a struggle. I am working so hard to be grateful for all the wonderful people and things in my life, but I have been dealing with my mother issues for about 55 years--I am 61 now.

I think it is great to have this virtual support group. I am grateful for it and all those who have responded to me. I do love my mother but her negativity and her level of neediness are difficult to manage for me. Someone else might do a much better job of not dwelling on things, but I do, and I have this awful anxiety. I have a wonderful husband and a good life, but this weighs on me morning, noon, and night--all the time. I think I am the one who needs to change, but it is so hard!
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That's how I feel. No money in the world is worth bringing my mom to my house. That is why I write the same check every month, for peace..At least from her every minute. I would love to write it to myself and my family could live comfortable, but I will gladly write it to AL to get peace.

Went there today because I had made an appt for the other lady to do her hair. I went because my mom asked me to being the first time she let her do her hair. She even complained to the lady about how she didn't like the AL place. Uggh! I just sit there and rolled my eyes to the girl doing her hair. After getting her hair done, we go back to her room and my mom said, "she looks like a witch". Oh my gosh!! I said, "that's not nice", "why would you say something like that?" She said, "you don't think I am nice anyway." No, she is so right, I think she is nasty, mean, hateful and very ungrateful. I did like you have told me, I changed the subject. I said, "would you like me to do your nails?" she said ok. We did her nails and went to the patio. Each time she would complain or say something I didn't like, I changed the subject. I am afraid I am going to run out of subjects. hahaha! :0. I stayed about two hours and she told me I didn't ever stay long that I always had something else to do. I agreed with her for once and didn't make excuses. I just told her when you have kids and a job, it is the way it is. I was proud I just went with it.

I wish I didn't have POA and someone else did. I don't like being in charge of all this. I went to the bank last month with the notion I was going to move some money and I chickened out. I just couldn't do it. My worries are that she will want a statement then she will prove to herself I am cheating her. --even though I am not, she thinks I am. I just couldn't do it. I know it is what I need to do though. The government, the AL, and the nursing home are going to get everything if I don't act quick.
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Amen to that!
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MaineMom - I wouldn't bring mom back to my house for $260 a day! I think it would cost me more than that to replicate the staffing and services there 24/7. And my house is not built for fall-prone people, or upholstered for leaky/messy people. I don't feel like I am able or trained to replace all the special skills concentrated on the ward mom lives on. If her meds need adjusting, they have a hotline to the doc, and it just gets done. If she went into an emergency, the medical people are already there.

That check is hard to write out every month, that's for sure, but I appreciate what she's getting for it and that I get to keep my job, family, and home life. I will say that I wish more of what we pay went directly to staff vs. administration!
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My mother is at that stage now where you can't reason with her. She will also whine about things until she gets what she wants like a preschooler. It's the complaining and negativity that really gets to me too. I get so stressed out every time I see her. It isn't easy at all. I like this website because I can see that I am not the only one going through this, and everyone has good advice.
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You will definitely notice when reasoning ability is going fast. That's when your previously able minded parent turns into a rather rotten preschooler. And all you can do is hogtie them and haul them to the doctor. Yes, you have to take charge and do things against their will.

If you get physical temper-tantrum like responses, then you have to start being creative. It's not devious, it's creative. Safety is prime directive number 1. When a person loses their reasoning, they are no longer safe.

This is when you schedule a neuro-psych evaluation, and do what you have to do, to get mom/dad there. Bribe, lie, cajole. Say they have to go in to get government benefits. Or to get medical proof they are OK, so everybody will leave them alone! "Yes mom, I know you're totally fine. We need the doctor to sign a paper saying that and he has to do some tests first. This will really put the whole thing to rest for good! Then we'll stop & get a treat at the bakery."

This takes guts, grit, and more determination than anybody ever expects. It's tougher than tough. So many parts of this feel wrong, backwards, and upside down. This is a modern phenomenon because people didn't live this long in the past, and when they got sick, it was something that took them pretty fast.

Hang tough. Do research on this site. Ask questions. Come vent.
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I wanted to transfer some of her funds after she sold her house, but since I am not the POA power of Attorney, my brother is I couldn't do it since he was against it. I wanted her to have some money left if she needed it for things like dentures etc. which she will be getting soon. Like Jeweltone said the money goes real fast! I know she is well taken care of so it is worth the peace of mind to know that, but I still think that what AL charge is highway robbery!
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126cher i know how you feel mum has gotten worse and refuses to see doc i told her today that she has to get her bloods done sometime next week she said "why" i said the doc ordered them her reply "well fck him im not going". what do you do? nasty??? mum never used language like this before she does nothing shes told like a bold child? its tough i never listen to anyones advice unless theyve been here what the hell do people know about how stubborn they can get!
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Hi, people have been telling me how to protect my parents for at least 5 years. Both are alive and need help (pushing 90). Knowing what to do and doing it if your parents will not co-oporate are two differnet things. Dad is now blocking Mom's care. Well long story. Guess they become negitive when they start to lose it. They get nasty. I am lost.
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Your Mom may be suffering from depression. We forget that changes in the neural system associated with dementia include changes in the neurotransmitters that help us feel good (or at least OK). You may want to ask her physician if she has been evaluated for depression and if there is a medication to help.
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That's good advice, Jeweltone, re-moving funds when there's still time, even if you don't feel comfortable. For maybe the last 6 months or so, I've been moving some of my mother's bank $ to an investment account, to prevent her from withdrawing too much at one time for no good reason, or heaven forbid, if someone got access to her accounts, it would be bad. I've been conservative about transferring the funds, so as not to upset her, but she did something else last week at the bank that alarmed me, and so I quickly moved more over to the investment fund.
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My mom did a good job putting back. Her home was paid for and she had a retirement also. Now, the money is going, going, going. I can't believe how FAST it has gone. Last summer is when we had to start using it for care. 24 hours a day at $10-$12 an hour for 5 months, well, you know. It was a hunka chunka change! Now she is in AL and I could live off of what is going out. I know that after about 5-8 years we will be facing what to do next. It is really sad in my state that Medicaid will NOT pay for AL. They will ONLY pay for nursing home. It would save so much more if they would pay for AL, but they will not and my mom will be forced to move AGAIN. More anxiety that is not necessary for her. I can't even make my mind go there right now. We are struggling with her changing addresses again now, She will probably be good and settled when we will have to up root her one more time. Then I will get to hear how once again, that I don't want her at my home. I am with you about mo money= mo problems, because I had to realize that the money wasn't worth it for her to live in my home and make us miserable with her. I could have very well built or bought a home after we sold hers to accommodate her and all of us totally 5 people. Her own room and bathroom in another corner of the house. I realized it would NOT be worth the anguish everyday. Once or twice a week is more than enough. I have friends and family tell me I need to start getting the money in other accounts (of course still using it to care for her) then in time Medicaid can kick in and she could still have a little bit left for things she may need that Medicaid won't pay for. This is where I feel guilty again, the money is hers and I am having a hard time putting my name on it. I am wishing now, I did it when we first got her diagnosis 3 years ago. 3 years would have passed and only two more to go. I did NOT do it though. like my friend and aunt told me, if I don't do something now, I will be sitting here in 5 years saying the same thing. It is sad that they work, put back and the state won't help until they are destitute.
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Maybe we should start a new thread, something along the lines of "good news, bad news"? My head is a little clearer now, but I was very befuddled this morning.
Getting packed, finishing up work, gassing up the car, for the trip to take away my mother's car. Husband is going down with me, and he'll drive her car back home (to our house, 3 hours away).
After talking to my mother's neighbor earlier this week, she told me that she had driven my mother to the DMV, and it was a 3 hour process. She told ME, that they told HER, that they couldn't revoke my mother's license then and there because my mother had scheduled a hearing, which was scheduled for today. I spent the week wondering if she'd actually attend the hearing.
Today, I spoke to the neighbor again, and she told me that she was able to cancel the hearing while they were at the DMV!! AND, that my mother's license IS NOW revoked permanently. I think, as she was telling me all the drama, she simply didn't stay on track and give me the resolution of the story. But I will try to see if the DMV will confirm this with me on the phone. I think that this neighbor is probably telling me these details now, 3 days later, because she's calmer. She tends to get very wound up, and I spend a lot of energy trying to calm her down, and not get distracted. Important details tend to get left out of conversations.
So, if this is true, then this IS good news.
The only 'bad news': my mother is either becoming more confused, OR she's really beginning to lie to me. Big, boldfaced lies. I spoke to her very briefly this morning, just to let her know I'd be 'stopping by' tomorrow, and asked her how her week was (wondering what she'd tell me, of course). She said that her car was giving her trouble (Really???), so she took it in for service (Did you now??), and it seems ok now (Well, that's GOOD!).
Here I go again -- trying not to be pulled into the story, trying not to spend too much time sleuthing for proof that she actually did take it in for service (she didn't -- no checks written, no credit cards used), and trying to tell myself that it makes no difference whether she's lying deliberately or believing her stories, or whatever. It makes no difference.
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We'll our problem is hoping the money lasts until she needs the next step which is moving into the memory care unit that is part of the AL place she is in now. Once she moves in there it will be debt free to us as the state will kick in. If the money runs out before she is eligible to go there then we may have a problem. I guess it's not worth worrying about at this point.
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Correction: MedicAID coordinator. My fingers just go off on their own a lot of the time. It would be so much simpler if it was just all one plan from cradle to grave that adjusted across your lifetime based on need. Having all these different plans makes for so much administrative overhead and confusion. I just don't see the point.
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So about money. It just is going to run out. It just will. The inheritance idea is a myth these days for most people who aren't insanely wealthy. Just start to accept that every penny there is will go to pay for care. There is literally no way around it other than to win the lottery.

An awful lot of today's seniors in care wouldn't plan ahead, didn't plan ahead, and are 100% certain to outlive their funds. Somehow, "somebody else" is supposed to pick up the tab. What choice is there? This is actually a huge problem for communities because there aren't as many people in the population groups now paying taxes to support the medical assistance need. The burden has fallen to us younger ones, and there's fewer coming behind us who are yet to become tax payers. Every first world country is dealing with this problem.

Once you get through enough of the 12 stages of grief about the money, you can work on getting the paperwork together for medical assistance/Medicaid. This must be done well in advance of the day of need. In the US, application processing can take weeks or months. I'm lucky that mom's nursing home has a Medicare coordinator on staff to help me out with all this. And they can go "medicaid pending" for some period of time between end of funds and approval of medicaid.

Yes, it would be nice to have something to show for all the effort at the end, but my attitude is that mo money = mo problems. I remember going through estate probate when dad died in 86. It was a paperwork hurricane, so many fees to this clerk and that clerk, so much time spent doing the estate probate forms. He had a will and everything was in order ahead of time, but it will still a giant pain in the haunches.

I'm kind of relieved to know that once we spend all the money this year on her care that I won't ever have to worry about settling an estate or going to probate or any of that jazz. My reward will be freedom and the ability to stop doing her taxes, her bills, jousting the paperwork monster involved with being old in the US. I might not be able to put that in the bank or pay for a cruise with it, but getting my time and attention back will be priceless.

I don't know if this helps anybody or not.
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Jeweltone we are worried about the money running out too to pay for the AL. They charge so much it is incredible! We think she has enough $ to live there for two years. By then if she is ready to go over to the memory care section then she can get Mainecare to pay for it. We don't know what is going to happen and that is what is scary. I guess we just need to keep the faith that things will work out in the end.
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You all are doing well!!! Pat yourselves on the back and treat yourselves to something. You deserve it.
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Looloo: yes, it is going to be hard, I am not sure your plan, but maybe you could act like you are taking her car for an oil change, car wash, etc. Then take more than expected time to bring it back--not really take it back. You could then always have an excuse why you haven't brought it back, maybe just maybe the car broke down and it is in the shop. I wish you much luck. The webs we weave. I will tell you that I worried over and over about lying to my mom about things to keep her "happy", safe, and less anxious. The doctor told me something that made me feel somewhat better about it, he said, "At this point the truth doesn't matter". YOu know what, it doesn't. He let me know that with the disease, you can't always be honest because they wouldn't be able to handle the truth. Hang in there.
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That's exactly what I did with my mom when I finally got her to make the decision to go to AL. I started agreeing with her about things that were wrong at the house. Then I would tell her it wasn't safe anymore. Of course, now though, she reminds me that I made her move. Ha! No, she chose. You are right, it absolutely consumes my mind sometimes to the point I don't get anything done. I also worry about the money situation with my mom. Watching it go quickly, isn't easy. I am glad she had it to take care of herself. We sold her home this past November, yay. That was one less thing to worry about. I had to pack up her home. It took days and moved it all to TWO storage buildings. I worry about what to do with the "stuff". She keeps telling me to sell it, but I think it is too soon being she may want something for her apartment. But that is another expense she is paying for. It would have been better if she didn't have money or too much of anything and that would be another less worry. Being in control of the money is one other thing that gives me panic attacks. I get so anxious being responsible. She will also many times ask questions about it. She thinks I am spending it. If I were, lady, would you have a place to live? That is what I want to say.

Speaking of the hair thing...I made an appointment for the lady at the AL salon to do her hair tomorrow. When I called to tell her, she got quiet and then said, "oh lord, will you come?" I told her I would if they would call me when she is ready to do her hair. If I can go tomorrow (Friday), I will NOT have to go over the weekend. YES!!! I can stay home one weekend. Cheers to me...
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Loo loo when my mother had to stop driving my brother took her keys away. At first she was okay with it but then got really depressed because she couldn't go anywhere. We felt really bad doing this but it was for her own safety and others on the road. We compromised and told her she could take her drivers test again to let someone else make the decision for us so we didn't look like the bad guys thinking that she would never pass. Well, she passed the driving test and we were speechless. We still didn't think she should drive so when she went to the psychiatrist when she was being diagnosed with dementia he agreed that she shouldn't drive and told her that too. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It was so sad but we did it to keep her safe. It did ease our conscious having the doctor make the decision instead of blaming us kids.
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This morning, in my facebook feed, I read an excerpt that clicked for me. It had to do with finding 'happiness at work', and talked about how we don't have a crystal ball to see how all the pieces of what we do will ultimately turn out. But we do our best, with the best intentions, and this is a creative process. Reading the word 'creative' kind of gave me a boost, because this is so incredibly stressful, yet feels like complete drudgery most of the time.
Sandwich, your moment, when you saw what kind of approach might work, was a creative moment. And it worked! I had my own creative moment yesterday in the car, rehearsing and strategizing about how to handle my upcoming "take away the car" day on Saturday. I'm thinking it could work more smoothly than my original plan, but there's no guarantee of course. Anyway, that sudden flash where I knew I came up with a better idea, with better odds of being successful, made me happy, and I actually did stop feeling 'sneaky' and so annoyed at the lengths I have to go to in order to keep her and other safe. I felt kind of 'creative' instead :).
Sorry if this is rambly! It's early yet.
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I wish I could stop obsessing over it myself. This is probably the hardest thing for me. There are times, like at work, or doing home/family things where it isn't in the front of my mind. I'm better than I used to be, since she went into the nursing home side of the facility. I don't have the same high level of anticipatory anxiety over losing a whole weekend to running her errands and being on call for get/do/bring without end. But now the anxiety is over money and watching it go away. I worry about the hassle of medicaid and what should be done with her house/land in NC.

Jeweltone, I hope only the best for you as you go into the battle. You might have to find your inner Machiavelli.

I had the best luck getting my foot in the door with my mom when she'd call me late at night, scared of the phantoms at her window. She was sundowning and having hallucinations of men looking in the window, walking around on her property with red glowing eyes, smoking at the window, driving around the house in trucks. None of that was really happening. My uncle would come over from next door, and there was nobody there, no tire tracks, no cigarette butts, nothing.

I jumped on it, and asked her if she'd like to be somewhere safe, where the men couldn't get to her. She said yes. I started taking notes on all the things she was unhappy about, and used those examples of why to make a change. If trying to get traction by attracting her to a new place wasn't going to work (the carrot), then I switched to the stick and had much better luck. I got lucky by stumbling on that approach!
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30 years? 15 years? Wow do I have something to work on here. I better get my butt in gear and drink many margaritas..:-) I want to get this under control before it takes control of me. Something one of my friends said to me about a month ago that made sense and now it is coming back to me after I read your comments. She said "you better do something now, or you will be sitting here in 3 years, 5 years, or maybe even 10 years saying the same things." She and you are so right. I do not want to go through this many more years. I will be there with her in her misery if I let it control me. I appreciate the support and the examples of HOW to deal!

I tried calling her a bit ago (havent talked to her since Sunday)--today is Wedensday. She did not answer. Praise the Lord. I was glad and guess what? I will NOT call her back tonight. before, I would have called back until I got her. Not anymore. Before, I knew she could have fell, or something be wrong. Now, I know there are people there to check on her and they will let me know if something is wrong. Well, it is not or they would have called me. Yippee. If she sees where I called, she may call me back. But hardly doubtful.

My other goal is to STOP thinking about it everyday when I am not with her.

This chic is on a mission.
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I went to an employee assistance counselor for job stress once. (This boss I had was a carbon copy of my mother and it was really doing a number on me.) My counselor had me envision a great big hypodermic needle full of sparkly glowing juice that was alive. It was shimmery, like it had little pieces of holographic glitter in it. It was a big dose of Amazing. I would picture myself injecting this into my arm. The mental image of pumping myself full of Amazing actually helped me. I didn't think it would, but I did the imaging sessions just like she told me to and by golly, it started to work. This boss from h*ll stopped being able to make me nauseous, anxious, and I didn't cry anymore. I'm too amazing for that. I also had to picture her as a frightened little girl who was talking big to protect herself, because more than likely, that's exactly what she had learned to do in her real childhood. This counselor also taught me to say:

==I can see that you're upset. I'll come back another time to finish our meeting/discussion when you aren't so upset.

==Let's not make this discussion personal. If there is something concrete and work related that you expect that I can write down, I'm happy to do my best, but I don't have to sit here and be ambushed with personal criticism.
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Sandwich, these are great! I'm adding to my file right now :)
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