I offered to take in an old friend, as a houseguest, from another friend. The other friend deceived me about the degree of helplessness and dementia. The last time I had seen the houseguest, he was merely forgetful. He arrived unable to operate a phone, a tv remote, or any appliance. And is often angry and spiteful, threatening me and my family members. I am myself elderly and suffering from severe heart disease, so I need to place my friend in a group home or "nursing home." Sorry if that is a pejorative term. He is way beyond "assisted living" and will need 24/7 care.
The State I live in is backwards and provides few resources to persons in my position. My friend's major problem is that his SSA income puts him just above eligibility for medicaid. No one he knows is going to assist him financially, so what next? Better off poor? I have seen suggestions on the internet to consult, at my expense, a "medicaid planner" who would ostensibly help me qualify my friend for government assistance to be taken care of. Is this a worthwhile thing to do or should i just try to deal directly with a state agency (administering a federal program).?
For what it is worth, my state has not criminalized "granny dumping," but I still think there must be a better way than leaving him at the emergency room with his identification.
There is no reason for you to take any responsibility for finding care for your friend, and it really is a bad idea to get too involved. You can truthfully say that you were ‘misled’ about his needs when you allowed him to come, it wasn’t just a ‘dump’ on the doorstep.
Contacting both state and federal agencies where you are is a good first step. If you get nowhere, and alternative to the hospital is to take your friend to a homeless shelter. The chances are that they know their way around the local agencies better than you do, and your friend can turn over his SSI income to them to pay for his board. It sounds as though he doesn’t actually need much care, it’s just that his behavior is quite unacceptable for a guest. And without a health issue, you may be unable to leave him at a hospital.
You were dragged into this, and you need to get out of it – not to get further into organising this man’s life.
Does this person you took into your own home have family?
Who is the SSA worker for this person?
Currently you have taken someone into your home as a renter. That makes this person your tenant, not your family. You can do little other than to evict this person, but if the person is not currently competent you cannot endanger him by kicking someone incompetent out on the street, whether or not you have legally given him notice.
It is time to call APS. Give them the information that a person you know "dumped" another person off at your home, and that the dumped person is a senior at risk requiring placement. You are not POA and you SHOULD NOT be POA, so his finances are not your business and not relevant. The STATE will decide all that.
What you must make clear to APS is that this person seems not currently competent, and that you cannot be responsible for someone dumped on your doorstep who is in no way related to you.
The state will either have to track down family, or, if unable, assume guardianship of this person.
I hope you will update us after your call to APS, because quite honestly you seem in no position to assume this care, and you may HAVE to drop this person off at ER ultimately if you cannot get help from APS and their Social Services connections.
Either drop him off at the ER or call your local Area Agency on Agong to seek advice.
And he’s threatening you and your family. You’re an elder yourself with cardiac problems.
I suppose you can call this other friend to take him back. If not, drop him at the er before you end up in it.