Please assist , what can I do to move forward . My sister is appointed as my mother’s power of attorney ( financial included ) . Since she has been appointed , so many horrible things have happened. First, She has taken out over a million dollars in collateral on our real estate properties to purchase herself a luxurious home in excess of 2,000,000 USD. When I stated that the home is too expensive she states the home is for my mother , which by the way the home was purchased two years ago and my mother still isn’t living there, my sister lives there with her husband and child She lives over 1000 miles away from my mother . We have been very fortunate over the years due to my father’s hard work . At one point we had owned several real estate properties in which we rent out the apartments to tenants . Present day, my sister has sold 4 of those properties . Those properties were financing my mother’s life . Now we have much less income because those funds went to my sisters new 2 million dollar home . I have asked several times for receipts and documents in which state where the funds have went and what they were spent on, she has denied me access . When my mother was handling the finances and bills, they were always paid , she had a credit score of over 700. Now her score is less than 600. My sister hasn’t paid the hoa dues on one of our residences and now it’s in foreclosure due to non payment. She has neglected property taxes, and other bills of various sorts, she states she can’t afford them and then takes more equity out on moms properties to pay those bills , which are still not paid in some cases . She isn’t on the deed to any of those properties . I live in one of the properties that my mother owns and she went as far as taking out over 250,000 in equity from this property as well . I reside 20 minutes from my mother and have offered to assist numerous times and my sister does everything possible to keep my away. I have informed my mother of this but she is extremely manipulatable . I have told her what’s going on , she calls my sister and my sister denies everything . When I questioned my mother why she didn’t make both of us power of attorney she stated your sister stated I can only pick one because that’s the law. I now have showed her evidence that this is not the case . She states she will be updating it this week. My question is how do I proceed with making sure my sisters behavior stops and things are made fair where we split responsibilities for our business , and split financial responsibilities. It really causes me great distress , my father passed away not long ago and everything he worked for has been destroyed basically. When he was alive , the bills were paid always on time , there was money in the bank and there were no large luxurious purchases being made ! Also want to mention my sister doesn’t have any experience with real estate management and is literally running it all into the ground ! She lives 1000 miles away, how could she possibly keep a close eye on anything! Anytime I tell her I want to assist she states she will have a real estate manager take care of it . My mother is still alert and oriented , but doesn’t understand anything , my father was the one who paid everything and cared for their properties. What do I do to protect myself and my mother ?
Also CPA can also be hired to handle the payment of all the bills on a regular basis. Note, there would be hourly fees that your Mom would need to pay for his/her work. But at least you won't need to worry that money would be taken from your Mother. I hope everything works out for the best.
Even if she put the property into her husband's name, without getting permission to do that, she will not be able to just keep the property. She isn't supposed to enrich herself on mom's money. She is supposed to be a fiduciary which means she is to act in the best interest of the person she has POA for, and not for herself.
If your mom has dementia you will need to act on her behalf, and that would include pressing charges to recoup whatever can be had of what your sister stole.
Hire a lawyer immediately. Get the lawyer's opinion on the best way to handle this.
I've been POA with my sister, and though we got along, getting to agreement was sometimes difficult. I'll never serve as co-POA with anyone again, and have in fact refused it when relatives suggested it. I do not think it is ever a good idea.
Good luck in managing this mess!
Currently We are in process of selling a property , I have to make sure the new poa docs( with myself added on ) are filled out and filed before the closing of this sale. i don't know if I mentioned but the last sale of a property that occurred approx six months ago , my sister decided to have All of the proceeds wired into her bank, account. My mother and I are going to lawyer to get papers signed , spoke to lawyer earlier today, and we will not be notifying sister before we do it. I have a feeling she will try and say it was executed properly. Is that even possible? I don't think so being the presence of any attorney and the 2 witnesses. When my mother sees the reaction of my sister when she finds out that I was added to poa, this is really going to open my mother's eyes to how much she has been taken advantage of. Sometimes I think mom is scared of my sister...leverything I explained on this forum is only the highlights, there is so so so so much more fraud I have witnessed. My mother is just so gullible , when I report it to my mom, she calls my sister up and my sister goes off on her and denies it and tells her she has no idea what's he's talking about and bad mouths me. It's ridiculous, so immature but this is what money does to people .
That purchase I was talking about in my first comment on forum (the home my sister purchased with moms Money where my sister currently lives , mom was supposed to be living there too ) was literally the worst purchase considering the environment isn't safe for an 85 year old female. There are tons of stairs.no privacy , lacking a private entrance for mom to enter and exit, no public transportation nearby for mom being she doesn't drive , completely inappropriate ,basically- unsafe , ALSO I FORGOT, there is an autistic teenager living in the home ( my nephew, sisters son) he often misbehaves, my mother doesn't take it well and has no filter. She's gonna wind up flipping out, she doesn't want that stress. My mother and father lived their entire lives with very strict financial standards, they are both not from the U.S. and mom being from communist country, she was always very frugal, I know she would never purchase a 2 million dollar home , she just doesn't believe in that kind of living. The only way she would ever purchase a property like that is if it was generating rental income( as an investment property. )
It's such a shame,I literally get the shakes just thinking about all of this.
ty for your response, you have no idea how good it feels to this off of my chest.
Who does your mother's taxes? If your sister does them, she may be committing fraud with the IRS.
ty for your response again and all the help contributed into reading my long posts.
First, you keep saying "ours." Who actually owns the properties -- your mother alone, or are you on some of them as well.
Do you have a copy of the POA document, so you can see what activated it, and whether it should be active? Your mother should have a copy. Does your mother have any kind of cognitive diagnosis? Who is the lawyer who drafted the document, and who are the witnesses who signed it? When your mother says she will be "updating it this week," that means she will need to go back to the lawyer and sign updated documents. Does she have an appointment? Does she need you to go with her? (If you do, the lawyer will probably want to talk with her alone to make sure she is signing of her own free will and not under duress.)
Gather all of the information about all of the properties. Make a folder for each one. Look up the sale information; it's public information. This is often available online through your county or city. If it isn't, go to the county courthouse or government building where the records are. Collect all the overdue HOA notices, overdue bill notices, etc. Get as much of your mother's bank information as possible, including the statements showing how her money has been spent. Also get the information about your sister's new home purchase -- when she bought it and how much she paid for it, and whose name it is in. Again, this is public information through her city or county.
Then you can take it to Adult Protective Services and ask for them to do an investigation of elder financial abuse. You should also take your mother to an Elder Care lawyer and ask him or her how to proceed.
I wish you luck with this stressful situation.
"What do I do to protect myself and my mother ?"
There is only one answer: you take your evidence to an elder law attorney and you make sure she pays the legal price for the theft she perpetrated. She also needs to return the money. Get a restraining order for her. Don't go soft on her, she doesn't deserve it.
You will need to tell your Mother a therapeutic fib when she ever asks what's going on. You already said she "doesn't understand anything".