Limiting television usage?

My mother God rest her died last Saturday passed a year ago. She had dementia and got to stage that she believed everything was real on television. Some things frightened her so when she got that way the television had to be turned over. 8 weeks before her death she needed to go into a nursing as needed 24/7 care. In the communial room that all the dementia people were in there was no television. So yea i would watch how she goes and maybe her tv viewing might need restriction. Good luck

My mother watches an average of 12 - 14 hours of tv a day. Almost all horror, crime drama or crime investigation shows. Occasionally she will binge on Hallmark or old tv shows she finds via antenna. I think all the TV is bad for her and have tried getting her other activities (she tells visitors she is horribly bored living in our lovely home), but she won't bite on anything that gets her out of the house. Her hearing is also going and so the TV is cranked up to 11 - as they say. I notice that she now uses the plot of a tv show as her conversational gambit at dinner or during the morning when she comes up to visit while we get ready for our daily activities. She will tell me all about a crime drama or game show she saw as her contribution to "what I did today", so I guess it is filling some void.

Agree with others in parental controls especially if she's watching the news channels. No news is good news. (Funny -- the more I write it - news - the more it doesn't look like a word).
We don't subscribe to cable or satellite, so Mother watches a lot of MeTV which is retro tv shows like Andy Griffith and Gomer Pyle.
Now, if only our tv had a parental volume control.

I have been noticing the same thing. Mom Confusing tv with reality. I limit bad news or tv before bed. Although mom seems to like and comprehend news , shows and court tv shows the best. We watch game shows together and with her deteriorating eyesight I explain what’s going on and we try to play together- that has been good for both of us. Good luck and prayers to all who are on this difficult journey.

With our 91 year old mother in law, my husband or I watched what we enjoyed, some sports or home and garden TV, road auction show, and his mother enjoyed watching those along with us. She liked trying to read the lines running under the news; she could not really follow any of it, but sort of pretended to. She no longer knew how to use the remote (or phone), so didn't try to change channels.
I tried Hallmark movies and old classic films, thinking she'd enjoy the old show tunes, but she couldn't follow them and had no interest.
An aide who came twice a week watched game shows and talent competitions with her.
We never watched drama or thrillers while she was awake or in earshot, to avoid frightening her with gunshots, sirens, crashes, or people screaming. We even had to stop watching the Weather Channel because she'd hear about tornadoes or hurricanes and think they were coming our way and get really scared.
I tried nature documentaries with soothing music, but she'd lose interest after a minute or two, and look out the window at her own hallucinations instead (she had LBD, Lewy Body Dementia).
I found music on the internet that she enjoyed humming or singing along with, plus close the blinds, and that was particularly helpful late afternoons when her hallucinations seemed to heighten, maybe because the sun filtered through the trees creating shadows.
When she "saw" all the hungry soldiers or children outside, I'd cheerfully answer that they surely will go home to eat; and I'd take it as a possible cue that she might be getting hungry for a glass of juice or a snack herself.
Blocking some tv channels is a great idea. Your mother may not even notice!

When we moved mom to MC, I decided not to sign up for TV (and internet) service right away. I didn't want her getting used to sitting in her own room, alone. It is better if they can be "social". Internet wouldn't have worked for her as she never learned how to use a computer, but given how much you can access online these days, it *could* be an option. They have a TV in the main sitting area, and it is set to some kind of old TV shows program - however some of those programs would likely be a problem for many of those mentioned in these responses! Old westerns (shooting, killing, etc.), even Mayberry RFD could be an issue! When I have been there, I noted also that there are a lot of commercials and I wouldn't want my LO seeing those!

In mom's case, she was more a person who liked the evening news (just before bed) and a "good" show/movie. If her hearing wasn't shot, I would consider trying to get the "good" old movies/love stories she used to like, but at this point I think it is a no go (they "washed" her old hearing aid in the laundry and lost the replacement in a matter of weeks!) Closed caption could help, but sometimes it would be too fast. I did like sound of the YouTube channel TeamNancy mentioned - could probably use it without any sound/hearing, but I still don't want her sitting in her room. Hard to be "social" when you cannot hear anyone talking, but at least she doesn't hole up in her room. Even music channels would be useless for her. She still gets the Sunday paper and her big "enjoyments" are the sales flyers/catalogs and coupons...

For others who have issues with some programs upsetting your LO, most certainly set up restrictions. It is less an issue with control and more an issue with keeping the person calm - no sense in them watching scary things (even the news can be scary!) and having them internalize it and be agitated, frightened and/or upset! As with kids, monitor what the LO watches and observe what might be the trouble channels/programs and block them!

This is very normal for a memory impaired person. My mother is the sweetest woman in the world but when she watches TV at times she yells and gets angry. She also waves to the people on TV. For example our family was watching a program and someone hit another person, She start to cry and seemed fearful. We shut the program off and put something else on. Little house, Walton's, Blue Hawaii, Father of the Bride are shows she likes and does well with. Hope this helps.

Hello, dear Wubba,
My 90 year old mom lives with my husband and me, and she is spending an increasing amount of time watching the television. Like your mom, mine was getting a bit too riled up about the news. We decided to completely remove the cable channel options and just go with a lo-tech aerial device, which has limited her watching to about four or five channels. She was a little puzzled at first, but then forgot that she ever had 100's of news channels to choose from. She's perfectly happy just watching the local news and old tv shows. The old tv show channel keeps her much more calm, since the content was much tamer then.
I think if you reduce her selection like we did for my mom, that your mother will likely not even notice. Best of all, she may become a bit calmer.
Best of luck, dear.
Leo

My husband likes to watch DVDs all day long. He used to sit and watch in the living room with me but he likes to be alone in the bedroom. The other day it was the first that he was getting angry at what he saw. It was strange because he had never done that before. He is 65 years of age and was diagnosed 5 years ago. I beginning to see many changes.

Isn’t it too bad that our news is so depressing?

I don’t think there is anything wrong with blocking the terrifying news and making her world a happier place.

Our news sensationalizes and exploits tragedies. Sometimes it seems not a lot different from watching a hanging at Tower of London or watching a lion devour an accused man at the Coliseum.

My DH has Parkinson's. All he does is watch TV, up to 12-14 hours a day. He can't remember how to use the remote so will watch infomercials or whatever comes on the last channel he managed to find. Funny story - he took the remote outside to the back porch and I watched as he tried to make a phone call with it! He thought it was his cell phone (which he can't remember how to use either)! He only wants to watch news or political news channels. He is an attorney and was Democratic party chairman for our county for 37 years, so politics was his life. Some days he just sits in the living room and stares at the wall or blank TV screen. So sad. He can't see well enough to read, doing puzzles would make him crazy. So TV is his only entertainment. He does watch Grit TV which is old westerns and I can tolerate those. I have to turn it off occasionally when he naps or just to reset the controls. May look into a remote with larger numbers. For your Mom, I think parental controls would be the best option. Don't take away all TV viewing, they have so little that makes them happy. Blessings

I'm so glad to see this topic brought up and I love the idea about editing the channels! My 92-year old mom lives alone in independent living in a senior community and last year was diagnosed with mild cognitive decline though it doesn't seem mild to me at all and it certainly has been going on for several years. She obsessively watches TV news shows that are highly sensationalized and designed to keep people outraged and she also loves The Weather Channel so is often upset about all the disasters shown on it. Between the two she is constantly upset about what she sees and hears. She's become very agitated and anything or anyone she doesn't like or doesn't understand she says is "stupid." That has become her go-to word for so many things. Anything she disagrees with (hairstyles, clothing, activities) she says is "stupid" or says, "I don't do that."

At night she puts her radio on these agitating or conspiracy theory types of programs or programs about UFOs and sleeps with it on that channel all night, says it's the only way she can go to sleep. It's so unhealthy, feeds her with all kinds of crazy ideas. It colors her perspective about everything and she has very limited ability to think for herself. She does like music, old TV shows and a PBS program with Huell Howser visiting all kinds of places in California so there are alternatives and when I'm at her house I try to distract her with those programs. She often gets confused by the remote controls and her cellphone, always asks for my help in figuring out how to fix them so the TV will work or change channels. Ditto lots of problems constantly with her computer and accidentally putting it into airplane mode or having problems getting a document to print or find emails or photos that she says have "disappeared" though she didn't delete them. When her favorite religious programs were pre-empted one day with programs from another denomination, she was absolutely sure the devil caused that. She is suspicious of anything out of the ordinary and some things that are ordinary, too.

Prior to moving into her own place, she lived with my husband and I for two months. We intentionally don't have cable TV and are happy to use a digital antenna since we can get four wonderful PBS stations, local news which we watch and a bunch of other channels we almost never watch, so it has everything we want and more. Every day of those two months she was really annoyed that we didn't get her favorite 24/7 cable news channel so I know if I edit the channels she can get, she will definitely notice it but wouldn't be able to figure out why she couldn't get those channels except that she might think it's a conspiracy of some sort. She might call the community's maintenance guy to help her fix it, so I'd have to let him know about it. She's addicted to that channel and the hysteria on it so I'm sure she would go into withdrawal at not being able to watch it. Because even after two months at my house she was still annoyed and wanting that channel, I don't feel very hopeful that she'll get over not having it at her house and may become obsessed over not being able to get it, but it is worth a try to help her calm down.

You are making the right decision. My mother would get so confused by what she saw, that she tried to take a large plasma televsion off the wall. My mother was a nurse and the show that was one had people who were injured. She was attempting to get to them.
The best shows were anything that dealt with music.

Wubba1108,
If your Mom just gets upset by the telly, and cannot get enjoyment, then there is no reason to make her feel badly by letting her watch the telly she no longer understands. It is very difficult to think of our wise, protective, and powerful parents with anything but the love we felt for them when we were 5 or 10 years old. Umfirtunately, in cases of dementia, I find it easier to make decisions about my Mom's environment by respectfully considering what would I do for my child, were he or she of similar mental age as my Mom. You can love and respect your Mom, and all that she has done for you, and at the same time realize that your relationship has changed, and things that your could do once she no longer can handle. You would not let her drive a car or maybe you would not let her travel alone. Similarly, if your Mom in your very best and compassionate opinion is being hurt, as in upset, by certain programs on the telly, perhaps it is time to care for your Mom not according to the wisdom, care, and power she once had, but according to the reality that you may have to assume parental decisions about the well-being of your Mom.
I would not deprive her of telly, but programs that upset her I would likely discourage her from watching, gently and with understanding. Yes, sophisticated parental telly controls may have now a place for your Mom as much as they would be an expression of caring love for your 5 or 7 or 10 year old child.
Best of luck to you, your husband, and your Mom.

Western and violent shows made my mom more aggressive.

I learned to put the channel on Animal Planet or a channel that shows the classic fun shows like I Love Lucy, Carol Burnett, etc. Cute and funny shows can be very uplifting for the elderly as well as Beautiful scenery with music.
We should all do the same!!

Good idea to use parental control before you and your spouse go nuts w political news.

Turn on the parental controls. I would add the weather channels to the list of channels that agitate and confuse.

Use parental controls and keep your sanity - but don't say this to her. Tell her the show stopped showing on t.v. if she questions it.

As a caregiver for Alzheimer's seniors; my client solved this issue herself. She couldn't get the tv to come on. I found it unplugged - her way of turning it off. I told her the plug was broken, so no more tv. She accepted that, and I was thankful. I had a hard enough time dealing with her 4 relatives that "lived" in the walls of her home. For every meal, I sat 6 place settings at the table, filled the plates with the food, filled the glassware, and wait until all the relatives were seated at the table before my lady would take her first bite. The only way to get her to eat. I did this routine for 2 meals a day, for almost a year.!! When asked if she'd like to help clean up, she'd reply; "They're your relatives, and I don't have to do a damn thing." She was the first one to the sink to wash the dishes. To replace the tv time, we'd go for walks around her yard, we started a journal with her writing her childhood memories in it. After her passing, this journal became a treasure for her two daughters -they had no clue she'd done it. On occasion, I'd take her for a ride around her neighborhood. To her, it was taking her back to Virginia, where she grew up. But of course, all the relatives had to go too. We had some really good rides, and priceless memories.!! I just "rolled with the flow," because it's the small simple things Alzheimer's victims enjoy the most. You are there to help them, in every way. May you R.I.P., H.A.

I thought that I might shoot the TV set if my Alzheimer’s husband kept watching one news show consistently. Parental controls is a great idea.

Turner classic movies is another good one. Old black and white movies from their era, you'd be surprised how much they enjoy them and how quickly they can name the stars Sure beats 24hr news and weather. I've DVD a few of her favorites when there's one on she's "not particularly fond of". Definitely a sanity saver.