We have been responsible for my 96-year-old mother's health decisions for the past six years. She is legally blind, deaf, and has dementia. Recently her health insurance changed, and she had to go to a new dentist. She has her own teeth and brushes regularly, flosses religiously. She has had only one cavity since she moved to an assisted living near us after my dad passed. She has gone to the dentist regularly all of her life and still does. The new dentist says she needs a full mouth dental debridement, going under her gums. It will be expensive for her and painful for her after the local anesthetic wears off and will require more than one session. I have not mentioned any of this to her as she worries over just a regular dental visit; frankly she everything worries her, so we try to keep information given to her to a minimum. Should I get a second opinion? Should I talk to her family doctor about whether this is a good idea, given that her remaining years are limited? Either way, money is an issue because assisted living is expensive and draining her resources. Her insurance will cover less than half of the treatment, as we understand it. This is up to me to decide, as my younger sister has said, "whatever I want to do. But she did say, let's wait and see." I don't want her to get any infections, as she already has had a toe infected to the bone and gets UTIs monthly. She is on maintenance antibiotics due to the UTIs, and her doctor is getting nervous about the constant antibiotics causing resistance. However, I do am loath to put her through something that may or may not be needed. I know I would hate to have to do this if it were me, but I can take the responsibility for my own health. Making a decision for my mother is something else. I am venting, I know, but it feels like a no-win situation. I love my mom, and I don't want to cause her any unnecessary suffering. She is unhappy enough since Dad died, and Dad made all the decisions when he was alive. Any thoughts?
IMO no trustworthy dentist would even recommend something like this.
Just say no, this is ridiculous.
He lasted about a year more before dying. She wishes she'd never put him through it.
To subject that type of dental work on a 96 year old with dementia is INSANE.
Mom can get a cleaning.
And any NECESSARY work can be done.
HOWEVER...
I made the difficult decision when I was caring for my Husband that I would not do any dental work. The exception would be if there was any pain or an infection. (that's probably redundant) It just was not worth putting him through anything like that and it was not worth it to put me though it as I was the one that would be doing wound care.
I'm not a dentist but my guess is that this new dentist is trying to "upsell" your mother into doing expensive treatments that are not necessary. Sadly, this has become a common practice with dentists. You Definitely should get a second opinion!
Just the fact that your mother has been getting regular care from her previous dentist means that whatever condition the new dentist wants to treat would have been handled by the previous dentist long before there was any need for a painful, extensive, and expensive treatment.