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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If she has incontinence and strong smelling urine all the showers in the world won't fix that, especially if she's not using a proper incontinence pad or changing them often enough because of the cost. Also many people with incontinence cut back on their fluids to try to mitigate the need to go, and of course that just makes the urine smell even stronger. (have you checked her clothes for odour?)
Oh and one other thing - I discovered my mom couldn't get into the shower and was making due with half assed attempts at keeping herself clean long before she had dementia.
I should add since this is your MIL not your mom maybe hiring a caregiver to help out. MIL pays for the caregiver not you or your husband or your husband can take on the responsibility of helping his mom when she needs care. This should NOT all be on you
Sounds like she will need help from someone every time she uses the toilet. If feces is remaining in the folds of her skin, she will soon have an infection of one kind or another. The only way to find out is to look. Does she have dementia? If so, talking with her is fruitless, she cannot understand as her brain is dying bit by bit. You'll have to give us more information but basically once someone gets to a certain point, they can't toilet on their own.
I love hand held shower heads. It helps to clean that area very well. If that does not seem to do the trick, I would take her to her PCP. A woman I worked with found a tumor/cist on her ovary was the problem with the smell. Also, UTI can do it. I used Huggies wipes on my Mom, big and thick helped alot.
I think you need to be tactfully honest with her so that she can either deal with it better ior show that she isn't able to. I agree with others who suggest it may be a medical and/or a cognitive issue.
What issues does MIL suffer from? Dementia? If so, she needs help showering and toileting. You can hire an aide to shower her ( on her dime) but toileting would be on you. A bidet hookup for the toilet could help her clean more thoroughly.
More info would help. A trip to the PCP may help too, in case she has yeast or another vaginal infection going on.
Maybe mom needs your help in the bathroom. Not just at shower time but when she is using the toilet is she properly cleaning herself? Keep in mind that skin folds also need to be cleaned when toileting. She may not be doing that herself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Oh and one other thing - I discovered my mom couldn't get into the shower and was making due with half assed attempts at keeping herself clean long before she had dementia.
More info would help. A trip to the PCP may help too, in case she has yeast or another vaginal infection going on.
Not just at shower time but when she is using the toilet is she properly cleaning herself?
Keep in mind that skin folds also need to be cleaned when toileting. She may not be doing that herself.