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If she has incontinence and strong smelling urine all the showers in the world won't fix that, especially if she's not using a proper incontinence pad or changing them often enough because of the cost. Also many people with incontinence cut back on their fluids to try to mitigate the need to go, and of course that just makes the urine smell even stronger. (have you checked her clothes for odour?)

Oh and one other thing - I discovered my mom couldn't get into the shower and was making due with half assed attempts at keeping herself clean long before she had dementia.
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Reply to cwillie
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I should add since this is your MIL not your mom maybe hiring a caregiver to help out. MIL pays for the caregiver not you or your husband or your husband can take on the responsibility of helping his mom when she needs care. This should NOT all be on you
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Sounds like she will need help from someone every time she uses the toilet. If feces is remaining in the folds of her skin, she will soon have an infection of one kind or another. The only way to find out is to look. Does she have dementia? If so, talking with her is fruitless, she cannot understand as her brain is dying bit by bit. You'll have to give us more information but basically once someone gets to a certain point, they can't toilet on their own.
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Reply to SamTheManager
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I love hand held shower heads. It helps to clean that area very well. If that does not seem to do the trick, I would take her to her PCP. A woman I worked with found a tumor/cist on her ovary was the problem with the smell. Also, UTI can do it. I used Huggies wipes on my Mom, big and thick helped alot.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I think you need to be tactfully honest with her so that she can either deal with it better ior show that she isn't able to. I agree with others who suggest it may be a medical and/or a cognitive issue.
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Reply to Geaton777
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What issues does MIL suffer from? Dementia? If so, she needs help showering and toileting. You can hire an aide to shower her ( on her dime) but toileting would be on you. A bidet hookup for the toilet could help her clean more thoroughly.

More info would help. A trip to the PCP may help too, in case she has yeast or another vaginal infection going on.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Maybe mom needs your help in the bathroom.
Not just at shower time but when she is using the toilet is she properly cleaning herself?
Keep in mind that skin folds also need to be cleaned when toileting. She may not be doing that herself.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Perhaps she’s lost the ability to adequately clean herself. She may need help in doing so, from either a family member or a hired bath aide
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If she smells bad after a shower, maybe get her to a doctor.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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PeggySue2020 Feb 17, 2026
Yeah. If it reeks that bad that is indicative of infection.
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