
So, my 91-yr old mom asked me today about getting her bottom dentures fixed or replaced because she "wants to eat steak."
Some background: She had her remaining teeth pulled over 3 years ago and was fitted with full dentures. She wears the top ones, but has refused to wear the bottom ones. At the beginning, we had them adjusted, tried denture creams, etc. But the dentist said that due to her thinning jaw bone and dry mouth, there was going to be discomfort that she would need to get used. There was no magic bullet to make it easy to adjust. She is very averse to any type of discomfort and she's been this way her whole life. She would take an exercise class once but never again because it made her muscles sore. When I would try to get her to wear them, she would put them in and just let her mouth hang open like a baby. After spending thousands on adjustments and taking time off work to drive her to these appointments, I gave up.
Fast-forward to today. I said, if you want to eat steak, you can eat steak, just cut it into tiny pieces like everything else you eat. And I reminded her that it was still going to be uncomfortable even with an adjustment, and it would cost many thousands if we had to get entirely new ones made (an adjustment alone is over $1000 and I'm sure they will insist she needs new molds and maybe new uppers to match properly). She said, well, her boyfriend is the one who keeps bugging her about it. !!! I am wrong to refuse to spend a ton of time and money to pursue this fiasco? Yes, she has the money, but this isn't just about money, it's also about my time which I have no interest in wasting. As the person managing her entire life and finances for the last 7 years, I also don't think this is a good use of her money since I know it is as good as flushing it down the toilet.
What would work are teeth implants but that is a very long tedious process. If your Mom starts talking about that, tell her first, due to her thinning jaw bone, cadaver bone would be implanted into her gums, and that takes months to see if the jaw accepts the implants or not. It can be painful. Hubby went through it, and it took about a year until everything was final, and that was for only four teeth.
I found a reasonable "implant" dentist, we went to see if it was possible. He got a fair price and had to pay cash in advance. First step involved extracting the remaining teeth, bone grafts and installing the screws. After the surgery I expected him to cry like a baby. He breezed right thru with only one day of pain meds!
He was sent home with temp dentures, until he fully heals and can have the new teeth installed. Meanwhile, he has been unable to wear the temp dentures since the surgery, 4 wks ago! He doesn't bother or even try to put them in. He's had 2 post op visits since, each time the impatient young girls couldn't get the denture in either, tried twice and gave up in frustration. I would not like all these hands in my mouth! It was a comedy to watch!
I can see dentures are a huge, very expensive problem to deal with. All those TV commercials saying "Have new teeth in ONE DAY" are all liars. It's a lengthy process and I'm sick of dealing with it already. The top denture is bad enough, the bottom one worse.
Stop thinking your Mom is someone other than who she's proven herself to be all these years. I think you know the answer to your inquiry (NO). You know her better than anyone, even her "BF".
Since you said she has the money, tell her she can do what she wants BUT her boyfriend can take her to the appointments because you do not have time. If he doesn't drive, they can uber or call a taxi or take a bus or get a senior shuttle.
Be nonchalant about it, so that she doesn't get defiant and do it to "show you." Any time she brings it up, say casually, sure, Mom, whatever you want. You and Boyfriend go ahead and work out getting to the appointments. Then see how determined they really are. I suspect, not very.
Let us know how this goes. It's an interesting little saga (not so little to you -- I'm sorry for the aggravation).