We stay home and she rests and sleeps 20 out of 24 hours. Yesterday my sister spent the day with her. They drove 1.5 hours to a casino, enjoyed themselves there for 2 hours, drove back and then ate dinner out. How can I become more effective at keeping mom active?
If you say "Mom, do you want to go for a ride?" she will say "no"
If you say "Mom, we are going for a ride." then you get her into the car and go get lunch or an ice cream or just drive around.
The fewer choices and options you give the better.
It is typical in the later stages of dementia to sleep 20+ hours a day but if mom was able to do a 3 hour car ride and manage to get around a casino for 2 hours that does not sound like later stage of dementia.
A dementia patient does not need to be kept active unless she herself wishes it. Often we project our own needs onto them. If that might be the case, find a sitter to stay with mom while she sleeps for 20 hours. Then you and sister can go to a casino and have a fun day. Bingo!
DH and I are in our late 70s and find we are slowing down. Can't imagine what our 80s will be like. You don't say how old Mom is and how advanced her Dementia is? I will bet that day out did her in for a couple of days.
Sometimes we adult children project onto our elderly parents how we think they should be living.
I stopped cajouling my LO. She gets to live like she wants, eat what she wants, etc.
It taught me so much as i was caring for my Mom from 2020-2022. I leaned so much about empathy , compassion and imagining being in that person's place. How would I want to be treated.
It was the hardest thing I ever did and the most important.
Mom passed away at 99-1/2.
a hug of compassion for you.
But it is hard for a single or even two caregivers working together to create that environment on their own.
My 92 year old mother-in-law w mid to early advanced stage dementia enjoyed an activity program 4-5 days per week (depending on other med appts). Yes, some days she opted to rest in a recliner while there, but most days something piqued her curiosity (music, dance, art projects, balloon volleyball).
Re meds and meals
Again, she responded to the environment. If we went straight home from her day program, it would be a fight all night long to get two spoonfuls of food and meds in her … however, we found a cafe with a kind staff and stopped every night on our way home. Everyone was eating so she wanted to eat too — and NOT be left out. Her meds were just another part of the process/meal while we were out.
HOPE that helps and provides some ideas.
Sing songs she used to know, The only thing that did not work is giving a paint brush, paint, and paper, Even doing it with her was too overwhelming for her to try.. too many steps…she did not comprehend and it was too much.
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