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I found a memory care facility for my husband and need to know how to get him there for his assessment. I have already been approved by the facility. I am the only caregiver and his doctor feels that, for me and him, he needs to be placed.


I know he would not want to go anywhere, but he also is nightly looking for home. Not ours of 20 years — he goes to the neighbors' homes and luckily they understand what's going on, so they ignore him at their door. He then comes back home on his own. I don't try to correct him as he gets pretty angry.


The facility wants him assessed there. I don't know how to get him there when he doesn't want to go anywhere.

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Tell him you have an appointment and he needs to come with you.
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Also ask your doctor to order transportation to make this possible.
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Ask the facility to provide transportation in their van. Least they can do for what you are about to pay for his care there. OR, they come do the assessment in Your home so he doesn’t need to travel.
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Susieandmama16 Jul 19, 2025
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Susieandmama16: Use medical transport.
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If he will get into the car with you then Bring him for lunch.
"Honey, there is a new restaurant that I want to try"
If you can not get him into the car you can arrange a "medical transport" and a van or car will come with trained staff that would get him into the car/van. (If you do this tell them that you do not need an "ambulance transport".
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Try... 'Your doctor wants to see you at a different office."

You then need to let a staff member take it from there.
You need to leave, that is a hard thing to do.
The staff are professionals, they will take good care of your spouse.
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You have to talk to an elder specialist lawyer. Get Power of Attorney. Talk to the doctor about protocols in your state for placement. Ask for suggestions on how to get your husband there to be seen. Talk to the facility about your husband's not wanting to go there. Ask them what paperwork they need. Make a to-do list. Easier to keep track of all the details.
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