
MY 88 yo mom still lives alone, but was diagnosed with Alzheimers last fall. It's been ok, but her living situation is no longer sustainable. My sister and I are providing support (food, medical, financial) from 8 hours away. She is increasingly more frail. She has been very resistant to help of any kind, which I think is related to her fear being being "put away in a facility".
We've found a place within 15 minutes of me and my sister, which I have positioned as a retirement community just for a couple of months. She can get better healthcare, go to the theater, our to restaurants, visit friends, etc. Hopefully, she'll want to stay.
But first we have to get thru the nursing assessment. I'm afraid that she'll say that she doesn't want this. I'm worried that my sister's stress & anxiety will undermine this effort. Mom was abusive to both of us as children, which adds to the dynamic. Any thoughts or experiences to share?
Realistically, this year probably is our only opportunity to move her.
One tip. If your mom is going to be verbally abusive once you place her feel free to block her number (if she has a cell) and visit only as much as you want. Don't let her drag you into her drama if she is prone to that already. She may try to use guilt to make you do more and visit more, but the purpose of placement is so she is well cared for by professionals, not that you have to do everything she says.