Mum seems to be getting more and more aggressive i just dont want to be around her now i think she is getting worse shes slamming doors and very agitated i cant say anything but she bites my head off?
We are seeing the geriatrician next friday but her moods are starting to scare me i just cant reason with her.
NH and aids are not doing work...afraid to say anything,
Very scary regarding the care people are not getting.
Of course you are all welcome to come to Ireland anytime! you can look after mum while i go to the pub!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have any idea of what it is is like to be terrorized by a beloved family member daily? DO YOU? Do you know what it is like to try to live a normal life while your sibling and husband tell you that "oh, what's the big deal; she's not that bad," when they are not the target of her combative anger and physical strength?
Walk 2 blocks in my shoes and maybe you will feel differently about telling others to "Please get real". I WAS real. It was terrifying and I wished with all my heart that I was dead when it was occurring, as no one helped me.
kaz is not saying that is the medical diagnosis, she is referring to the origin of the word and she is correct.
No doubt people with dementia are not in their right minds and that it why this term has been adopted to describe the variety of diseases that are called dementias by the medical profession.
Kaz and most the rest of us are here for support as our loved one's illness progresses.
((((((kaz))))) I think it is wise to trust your instincts about safety Prayers for Friday and the drs appointment. ((((((hugs)))))
Normally I just ignore posters who put others down but enough is enough lately. So many come here in pain and frustration, just looking for some help, validation or some comfort. Either speak of your experiences and offer help on the subject at hand or be quiet.
I'm a very quiet easy going sort but when anyone tries to harm in any way a living creature who is down, be it human or animal, you'd better know how to run!!
depakote sprinkles ...
Shes a very intelligent woman and i think she knows shes losing it and is hitting out at me as who else is here to pick on.
Shes gone to bed now so peace for me she was very quiet tonight but i kept out of her way best to let her be i think. My dad was a violent man and we had an awful childhood there is no way im going through this again with mum its taken me years and therapy to get over dads behaviour so im not going down this road again no way jose. If she gets worse then a court order will have to be made and yes ive heard of just calling an ambulance and she could be admitted into a NH directly.
Hugs guys this is a very scary disease and horrible to watch. Sad that mum used to joke years ago and say if i get ALS "shoot me". Not so funny now, i know she would never want to end up like this its so unfair but hopefully they will be a cure one day and our generation may not have to suffer this awful illness.
"A little learning is a dangerous thing.
Whoever drinks at that Pierian spring
Must quaff it deep
For sipping simply fuddles up the brain,
But drinking deep doth sober it again"
Please get real.
Its now when you see her face and as book says her eyes that "dementia" is in your face its latin for "madness" and yes im now seeing madness. Thankgod my brother rings every night but this is her house and ive no means to leave but i will this is going to get worse and i can see violence its not in her nature before but this illness can change people.
My only fear now is she refuses to see geriatrician on friday my big useless brother is coming up and my other brother has warned him to "man up" and get her to that apt!
Some people are docile with this illness why? we dont know and some get violent? But i know and understand that mum needs to watch her bloods as this is bad for mood swings in "vascular dementia". Also oxegen is so important but she wont go out and walk so the less she behaves the worst she will get.
Cant wait to see the "act " she will put on this friday but hes a very intelligent man and has so much pity and understanding for carers he even has his seats adjusted so the carer is behind mum so i can nod my head etc...
Programme on now about "death and the Irish" HA!! how we view death? would love to watch it but not with mum sitting there although its nothing to fear it cant be worse than this job!!! LOL
Some here have told you to hide all knives and guns and to lock your bedroom door at night, Excuse me? Do you really want to live in a lock down prison 24/7?
--but believe me, there is a time and there is a place for medicine. My emotional sanity, and the ability for mom to stay in a nursing home was at stake. Depakote sprinkles helped even out her moods (ps: there is a history of major depression in the maternal side of her family so this is not surprising that it manifested itself when dementia began)
I called the neurologist and he put her on a medicine called depakote sprinkles. Its supposed to be for seizures, to calm the brain but also works for dementia agression. It worked like a charm. not only was she happier ON medicine, but so was I. At first she slept a lot, then she got adjusted to it and was fine. I kept trying to wean her off it after a year and the agression snuck back in. Now, 2 years later, she is off of it and fine, happy and alert, Good luck, just dont take it personally, you cannot rationalize with them in that state of mind and she does not mean it, she cannot help it. Lock the doors and like bookluver said, hide the knives, scissors, etc and watch her closely.
Wait for the geriatricitian's diagnosis.
Making diagnoses from a short post that contains very little detail is foolhardy, and relying on such diagnoses to recommend a course of action is even worse.
UTIs can only be confirmed by urunalyais and culture and sensitivity testing.
People often slam doors when they are angry but it rarely signifies an infection. Your Mum obviously disagrees with your 'reasoning,' whatever you mean by that.
Guessing at cyber-distance is a dangerous game to play with the health of another. Clinical examination and a variety of tests are needed to arrive at a safe diagnosis and to decide on a course of treatment, should that be necessary.
Be kind and humour her until health service [professionals have had the chance to determine whether there is anything 'wrong' with your mother, or whether she is fed up with other people telling her what to do and how to do ,it.
Please be very, very cautious about medical or psychiatric advice given in this forum. Most contributors are not professionals and what might fit one case, such as the case or cases they know, probably will not fit every case.
People mean well, but medicine is such a big field that requires professionals to do it properly without endangering the cared for.
I wish you well.