I am 80 and my husband is 82. He has Brady Kenetic type Parkinson’s and moves his arms very slowly. I dress him, feed him and sort out his meds. He has absolutely no balance and falls occasionally. I take him to physical therapy twice a week. He uses a walker and can’t walk without it. I empty four urinals 3 or 4 times daily.
I had a squamous cell cancer plug removed from the front of my lower right leg and am supposed to be keeping it elevated. It has been 3 1/2. months and it is not healing because I have no time to elevate it. I also have essential tremors and spinal stenosis and back problems but very rarely get to rest. He doesn’t want anyone helping him but me.I am completely burned out but don’t know what to do. I really need help but don’t know what help is available. Can someone advise me?
If that's not feasible, do get in-home care. I don't have direct experience with this but others here have great advice, as always. "Too bad" if your husband doesn't want anyone else. You matter too. You may find that he enjoys having additional people to interact with, once they start coming in.
If that's not feasible,
And if that doesn't work you'll have to have your husband placed in the appropriate facility where you can get back to just being his loving wife and not his burned out caregiver.
Does he have any dementia (like Lewy Body or other) or memory impairment? If so then all the more do not engage in a debate with him. He will get over it and probably come to like the aids themselves.
Please make yourself a priority and take really good care of yourself!
Your insurance may pay for it..
my friend's MIL did that..
she needed the much needed rest..
I forget who got the pampering away from home.. hubby or wife? Either way, she got the well needed rest away from him..
if hubby thinks you're not at the end of your rope and you are indispensable,
he better wake up soon..
he is scared, and rightfully so..and he is in no condition to care for you.
I'm sorry you are going through this...
you need care too..
Ask your doctor about respite care.
when you get hurt, who is going to call 911?
Do you two have the same doctor? Call them and ask about palliative care and hospice care. It'll bring a little bit of help in.
If you are afraid of the repercussions of asking for help, then lean on your doctor. Get an appointment to see your doctor. Talk with your doctor about your home life and be very clear! Go see him in person.. the doctors should have resources they can discuss with you and figure out which avenue would be best.
Tell him everything. If you have any kids, siblings, family, lean on them too.