I am her only child and feel exhausted and guilty all the time. I visit her twice a week and stay for 3 hours because she’s lonely. I’m married with 4 adult children and 7 grandchildren. I know I don’t have it nearly as bad as caregivers but my dad has been dead for 35 years and she’s been my responsibility for all that time. She’s not outgoing and only wants me to be with her. I guess I need to hear from others so I can get some perspective.
You can spend time with your children and grandchildren, and while you're with them, call or facetime her and let them say hello too.
And yes, plenty of residents actually do well in a facility's social settings but they don't admit that to their family members.
Look for faith-based facilities. My MIL was in a most excellent LTC facility for 7 years, and it was not the most expensive, but the staff was amazing and they were willing to take her to the events and activities.
May you have peace in your heart as you let others care for her.
Another way is if she has some finances to go to adult day cars that offer transporation with the programs. Usually somoeone has to go a minimum of 3 days to have transporation. The day cars cost an extra $200 or so per day.